A (s)painful journey....

Belated merry christmas!! After savoring Barcelona and zippin´ thru Madrid, am now in Sevilla...soon leaving for Granada and then back to Paris...and it´s been a really cool trip, what with the Gaudi works, Calatrava feats and the Muslim-influenced Gothic architecture....
ah, but I digress...
It´s a painful trip as well, because me and Indra, my travelling partner, kept counting the days that we´ll go back to Singapore....7 more days, 6 more days, 5 more days.... It got so depressing that in the end we were hatching plots on how to extend our stay in Europe.... Well, he´s spent one year in Stockholm so he´s understandably pretty attached to the city, and as for me... though I´ve only spent 4 months in Paris, the Great Lady has used all its charms to the effect that I loathe to leave her....

Oh well....all good things come to an end (trying to console ourselves...), but one thing that I talked with Indra that I hold true...being in Europe has taught me a lot, and enriched me a lot, and of course the ¨selfish¨ me would like to stay here and learn, learn some more....on the other hand I know that I can contribute more to people in Singapore.... Give and take,huh.... After taking so much it´s time to go back and give back, now....

And let´s hope I´m up to it....

D: "B,why are you eating corn straight from the can?"
S: "Hmmm careful...later you become corny...'
A: "Oooohhh......later you get CORNstipation!!"
B: "......."
S: "Hahahahahahahaha....."
*normal conversation for several minutes*
A: "Ohhh!! CORNcussion!!!"
O: "You are still thinking about it??!!"
*normal conversation continues..*
D: "You know what, yesterday we were talking about colour and composition..."
*A looks at J...*
J: "CORNposition!!!"

....The most enriching dinner conversation I've had in quite some time.....


"People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use."
-Soren Kierkegaard

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
- something that really fits my "sand philosophy"....

"People with real dreams don't break easily."
- Yakitate!Japan

"To appreciate Architecture, we might even need to commit a murder."
-Bernard Tschumi
(taken from Edo's blog)

"Smart is the new sexy."
- Erlin's blog ;p

"Kebodohan ada karena diciptakan."
("Stupidity exists because it is created.")
- Denias, Senandung di Balik Awan

Before vs After Married

Found this in one of the indonesian blogs I like to read..... here's the translated version...

Before married:

Guy: "I've waited so long for this moment...."
Girl: "Would you be willing to let me go?"
Guy: "No! Don't ever think of that!"
Girl: "Do you love me?"
Guy: "Of course! It will always be like that!"
Girl: "Will you ever have an affair?"
Guy: "No! I will never do something so horrible."
Girl: "Will you kiss me..?"
Guy: "Yes..."
Girl: "My dear...."

After 5 years of marriage, just read the above dialogue from bottom to top ;p

O: "Newest theory... why do people become religious after going for religious camps?"
S: "Hm..I don't know.."
O: "Because one of humans' basic character is always trying to be consistent.. by going to camps, people have an image of themselves that they are religious, good, etc..by deciding to go to camps, it means they are going to that direction..so yeah, consistency problem.."
S: "Interesting.."
O: "The theory's taken from a book I'm reading... there's an example of prisoners of war in China.. the POWs are not tortured, but they are asked to write essays about commnunism...as time goes by, because the essays are made public also, gardually they unconsciously slant that way..at least, they believe that communism is suitable for China..."
__
The classic adage that "you are what you eat" can be changed into "you are what you read", because what you read is what you think. (Well at least for me.)
How can one continue reading about so many things without being influenced by what one reads?
For now, I still think it's impossible not to be influenced, but I still think it's better taking that risk rather than not relentlessly quenching my curiosity...

Curiosity killed the cat, hey, but maybe it died happy.. Yeah, right, maybe...

"You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details."

"I guess when you're young, you just believe there will be many people whom you'll connect with... Later in life you realize it only happens a few times."
- Celine, Before Sunset

"Yeah when we're walking around we actually check out other girls..like, their legs, shoes, what they wear...."
"I read somewhere that girls actually dress up and make up not for guys, but for other girls... beating the competition, you know..hahahaha..."
"Ya,ya I think it's true... so actually, guys will check out girls, girls also check out girls, only gays will check out other guys..."
"Uhh.....hahahaha.... "
".....A guy who establishes eye contact with other guys...you know..."
"Yeah....well, actually when girls look at guys, they'll look at the face, mainly.. but gays look at the figure.."

A whole new lesson about how humans interact that I've never noticed before...huhuhuhu....

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
(If Tomorrow Never Comes, Ronan Keating)

"Tell that someone that you love just what you're thinking of.." Sounds like a cliche advice, doesn't it? But these few days made me realize just how true it is..and I actually became paranoid enough to suddenly sms my parents just to tell them that though I don't email and sms them often, though I seem lost in my own world, I love them very much. Knowing just how fragile human lives are, I wonder why I still take people for granted in my life,and to a certain extent "ignore" them.. and the people I take for granted the most are also the ones who love me the most...The ones who are always there, who always pick up the phone when I call, who try the hardest to understand me, whom I can always lean on and depend on.. parents, close friends, church people...
I guess I know why... these people who love me the most are also the ones who want to protect me the most.. who doesn't want me to get hurt, to stray, to make mistakes, to get into a mess.... and it's so difficult to find a balance between showing them I love them by doing what they want me to do (which, actually, is the saner and safer things most of the time) while still staying true to myself.. For I want to fly, run, jump, get hurt, get burnt, get messy, but get the most out of Life...
And for now all I could do...is just tell them how much I love them...

To J: Be courageous, be strong, rest well, and stay sane =)

That Special Someone

"The idea that you can only be complete with another person is evil."
- Celine, from the movie Before Sunset

"The soul needs beauty for a soul mate. When the soul wants, the soul waits."
- Bono

Hmm....the quote by Celine keeps replaying in my mind and somehow I really wanna analyse it... Oh well, I think there are two interesting extremes in the question whether a person needs another to be happy, be satisfied, be complete...And of course we're not talking about just friends here but someone special that we would want to spend our live together with.

On one extreme are people who thinks that they are fine alone, or at least it is better not to get too attached to people. To them, the concept "soulmate" is just that: a concept. They don't even think they need a special someone, let alone a soulmate. I admit that I tend to side with this half...which comes from being independent and "alone but not lonely" for a pretty long time (22 years..yeah man I'm getting old...) Maybe it comes from having a lot of friends and interests to fill my time, but I've always felt that finding a life partner is just one aspect of life, and not a very high priority one..think something like, "If I find someone, good, if not, I'll be a cool architect cum adventurer who travels around the world.' (Now please don't tell my mom that...) Of course, it comes also from being afraid to hurt and get hurt by another person, to get vulnerable, emotional and messy...Life's so much easier when lived just for oneself....Hmm...somehow I still want to believe that a person can still be happy and fulfilled alone, but I remember Kahlil Gibran's poem, that without love one will "laugh, but not all of your laughter; weep, but not all of your tears." Travelling around Europe, I've been meeting and talking to many people living alone and I admit that probably growing old alone kinda sucks, even if I were somewhere in the tropics doing orang utan conservation work and living life to the fullest. One thing I notice: a person without someone to love, no matter which age, will try to fill his/her life with meaningful activities-charity organisations, volunteering - generally trying to be busy in a nice way. So maybe it's true after all, one finds meaning in learning to loved and be loved, and life's not complete without that.

Now, there is the other extreme: the person who is convinced that there is one, and only one, and just one, person who will make one really fulfilled in life. The concept of the soulmate, as I've said. Well....I don't really believe in a soulmate because I think with the number of people in this world there has to be at least several who click really well with you. I mean, just one? Out of 6.72 billion? C'mon... But anyway, if there is such a thing as a soulmate ,in my opinion the only way to meet a soulmate is by divine intervention. Either that or really, really, really, unbelievably good luck. First, there's the problem of meeting the right person, being at the right place,at the right time. Second, how to recognize the person meant for you and how to convince that person you are his/her soulmate. Third, what if your soulmate, your one and only one, decides to choose another person?!
Combine the probabilities and I'd say the odds are pretty slim. Most people I know who believe in a soulmate, actually, are fellow Christians who believe in a God-ordained meeting, because that seems, logically, the only way to overcome the odds.

Hmm... still doesn't answer the question of whether the idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil....What I figure though, is that it's pretty evil to pressure someone to find a partner if he/she is comfortable being alone, by "teaching" them the above idea. As evil as forcing someone who is very social and very dependent on people to be alone.

Well, I believe that to be able to love someone else well a person has to feel complete in his/herself so he/she won't be too dependent on the partner. A person has to come complete with his/her (dang this politically correct two pronouns thing is troublesome..) own interests, strengths, experiences, goals, personality traits, and continue to develop as an individual even after getting together with someone...because to stop growing in such a way means one will get more and more boring... and how then, without our own special things to give, can we ever hope to "complete" another person? I remember an analogy I read quite long ago..that too many people are being half-full glasses, expecting their partner to fill them up..but hey, if you pour a glass that's half-full to another glass like that..well..one would be full and the other one completely empty. Not a good sign, I'd say.

So dear readers, which glass are you? Full? Half-full? Or *gasp!* empty...?

"Perfection is only a world created so we can reflect on imperfections."

S:"...Newae quote dari the movie "Before Sunset" : 'The idea that we can only be complete with another person is evil.'
Do: "Dat's true..lol.."
S: "U think tt's true? I should blog about it.."
Do: "Yea, I think so too.."
S: "Hahaha..."
Do: "Love is the root of all evil, nt money."
S: "Wad? Hahahaha...tt's a new one!"

S: "Is it ok to believe when I still have many doubts? I hope so..am starting to accept that questions won't be resolved..maybe they'll lurk forever in my mind...but maybe tt's ok..."

DB:" Depends on what you mean... If there's volcanic eruption in Singapore right now and the only escape is an airplane...and you believe that the airplane will take you to safety BUT your lingering doubts cause you not to take the airplane, I'd say tt's not really ok....cuz then...well you'll be messed up by the volcano lah...."
DB: "the father did pray, "I believe, help thou my unbelief!"....this is true....but the motive behind it was a desperation to get OUT of doubts, OUT of unbelief, and INTO faith, INTO Jesus.......wanting to THROW AWAY doubts, fears, misgivings...and IMMERSE himself into the one who knows all, is all, and created all....Jesus."

S: "how do we know we're not just accepting things by blind faith? there can never be too much faith?"

DB:"what is blind faith?"

S:"accepting things without thinking, i guess...well...like,if u r an israeli soldier in the old testament,and God asked u to kill the Moabites or philistines, though it's written in the Law not to kill..."
........
DB: "And if we judge that right and wrong, we become God..which is exactly what i think the issue is "

S:"But our judgment, our morality, our sense of right or wrong is precisely created by Him..granted it's fallen, but it's still supposed to be a general revelation of God in us."

DB" .....the deception comes when we think we have any inkling or the slightest sense of right and wrong apart from God...."

"...Olympia thinks none of her parents are devout as well, but who can ever truly know the extent of faith in another, she thinks, faith being among the most intimate and well guarded of possessions?"
-Fortune's Rocks, Anita Shreve

"...and it strikes Olympia then how willing we are to give our hearts, and indeed our soulds, to someone we hardly know."
Fortune's Rocks, Anita Shreve

"....welcome to the real world.."

"One unintended consequence of our technology is a change in our concept of identity. Our identities on the internet are fluid. In a single day, a person might post comments under two or more identities, play a game online with another identity, and then participate in a "Second Life" on yet another site. We're losing the idea that our identities should remain constant in every area of our lives and viewing our identities as our own creations that can (and even should) fluctuate depending on the situation."
http://www.str.org/site/PageServer?pagename=blog_iframe

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemis, but the silence of our friends."

"If you want a creative life, do what you can't and experience the beauty of the mistakes you make."
- A Whole New Mind, Daniel Pink

"...tau nggak, manusia itu rapuh..."

"...butir-butir pengharapan..."

"...Gw mah practical aja, lagi.."

S:"....lu kok nyiul2in lagu Tong Hua terus sih.."
O:"Lha gw emang suka nyiul2in lagu itu kok.."
S:"Sedih man...."
O:"...tapi menurut gw gak sesedih kisah gw..."
S:"Yeee..."
O:"Ya iyalah, dimana2 kisah sendiri yang paling sedih lah ya..."
S:"Hahahaha iya juga yah...."

E:"How are you over there?"
S:"Yah...enjoying it lah...dreading the time I will come back..."
E:"Yeah, enjoy first before you come back to hell...NUS: National University of Suffering.."
(Thanks,do....)

S:"Well I think relationships are like sand in your hand..you just open your palm, leave the sand there...when wind blows it away you can't do anything, since trying to close your palm will cause the sand to fall in between your fingers..."
O:"Wah...that theory is not bad... can be written in your blog.."

S:"You all cooking chicken rice?"
B:"Yea...can smell it from the corridor?"
*after about 20mins*
S:"Hm...trust me, you all will just open the container and divide up the left over chicken rice...you all keep staring at it...."
V:"I believe that could happen...."
F:"That's why...go and keep the chicken rice lah..somewhere you can't see..."
S:"Should I safekeep it for you?"
B:"No need lah...."
M:"Wah later at night ya...someone will go into the kitchen and take the box...."
V:"Ya, ya,maybe we all see each other and ask,"Eh what are you doing here?".....like, somebody on the lamp..."
B:"Ya, shiela will on the lamp...we all get caught...."
V:"No, no....maybe it's Shiela who will get caught...we on the lamp, and then she's there, with the piece of chicken in her mouth...then she will say,"This is not chicken! This is kangkong!"

....that's the funniest thing I've heard today....

Fragging

Decide to try a new way of blogging, which I will tentatively call fragging. It just means I'll be writing down fragments of my conversations with people, fragments of thoughts, fragments of books I read, fragmens of life...

Ok confession time: I'm gonna frag because it's much less of a hassle than doing a whole blog article analysing something, but I don't think fragging is a lazy man's way of blogging...at the very least, if I can frag every day it would mean every day I'm communicating with someone, *hopefully in a meaningful way and not just in a nonsensical sense..*, thinking, reflecting, connecting....

I think it'll be kinda fun too for people to guess who am I conversing with, in what context are things said, whether there are double meanings to it....
Oh and I'll be using the initial "S" for things that I say =) Guess I really am an ass sometimes...and the other person will be referred simply as "O",as in "Other" hahaha...not very creative..

Anyway yeah, the first frags, from yesterday:

"Newspeak. Doublethink."
-1984, George Orwell (currently reading it)

"Big Brother is watching you!"

O:"..at the end of the book, 1984..."
S: "No! Don't spoil it!"
O:"No,no..I just want you to know, there is one paragraph at the end, and when you read it you will think "Man this guy knows the truth...", and then you will say that "Man, ****** knows the truth.."

"....comme les francais adorent les greves.." ("..like how the French love strikes..")

S: "...Singapore is like a newspaper, you know...you read it, you get all the facts, but that's it, who wants to read newspaper over and over again?"
O: "Haha...ok...I like that comparison...It's your own? you have copyright for that?"
S:"Nah....But anyway,Paris...it's like....hm....it's like a really nice novel....."
O: "You read it chapter by chapter...."
S: "Yea, and after you are done, you can open it again, read it again, and you find new things you don't notice before, you find that sentences can mean other things..."

S:".....I guess, people are looking for someone..."
O: "Wait, wait, someone or The One?"
S:"Hahaha.....Someone... People are looking for someone who are different from them in the right way, but also similar to them in the right way....because to have someone be so different from you..well, you just won't connect... and to have someone be so similar...it would be boring....so you gotta find a person who is different from you in just the right amount, but similar in just the right amount.."

".....in the first relationship, people are always clumsy...."

"...after you know someone for long...yeah...maybe things are not so new and interesting anymore, but you also gain a lot of things...."

"....you could have realised that earlier....."

Yang Fana Adalah Waktu

Lagi-lagi puisi dari penyair favoritku sekarang ini (ok, setelah Chairil Anwar..), Sapardi Djoko Damono.....

Yang fana adalah waktu. Kita abadi:
memungut detik demi detik, merangkainya seperti bunga
sampai pada suatu hari
kita lupa untuk apa.
"Tapi, yang fana adalah waktu, bukan?"
tanyamu.
Kita abadi.

Quote..

"When you dance with the devil, there's hell to pay."

Taken from Deviantart when browsing..thought tt's a pretty good quote =)

Random

1. Musim gugur di Paris...indah...
2. Apa seseorang perlu rasa bersalah untuk benar-benar berubah?
3. Jangan pernah mikir gw mengerti seseorang. Jangan pernah terlalu cepat assume orang lain mirip dengan diri gw.
4. Somehow no hp prancis gw masuk ke jaringan chat orang dewasa..kampret abis..dapet beberapa sms gak jelas macam "Are you active, or passive?" ... Unbelievable...
5. Mengutip kata temen, "Wah gile...gw suka cewe Asia yg matanya besar...mata besar itu ngebunuh gw.." Keren jg istilahnya... Baru nyadar bahwa kl tmn gw "kebunuh" oleh mata yg gede, gw kebunuh oleh mata yg dalem.. Mata yg berani menatap lurus ke dalam mata gw, yg berani menantang dan mempertanyakan gw..
Tambah satu hal lagi yg gw harus lebih waspada... Haih...
6."If you run out of things to burn, don't set fire to yourself." Kata2 liar gak jelas yg kedengarannya cool.
7.Brp hari ini byk keilangan barang..huhu..barang2 kecil sih, pensil..tiket... but kok bisa slebor abis gitu yah.....huhuhuhu...
8. Gara2 ngobrol sama Pat jadi kangen ISCF..haha.. jadi mikir pasti seru nyiap2in camp utk semester depan..
9. Gw sangat bersyukur dgn hidup gw, gak ada yg gw rasa jelek dari hidup gw..tapi apa gw boleh bersyukur utk karakter gw yg rada liar dan bandel ini? yg justru kebandelan itu membuat hidup gw lebih berwarna? Hm...
10. Sekali lagi, bukan waktu yg membuat orang bertumbuh, tp pengalaman. Ada org yg hidup begitu aja, n membiarkan pengalaman mencari dia, menjalani hidup dgn pasif... Ada org yg gak tahan dgn hidup kalau nggak keluar dan mencari, memburu, mencengkeram erat2 pengalaman dan nggak mau melepaskannya...
11. Kabar gembira...? =) Salah satu buku TERFAVORIT SEPANJANG MASA -ku bakal dibuat film! Laskar Pelangi karangan Andrea Hirata..kira2 film-nya bakal sekeren bukunya nggak ya?
Buat semua yg baca blog ini n ngerti bhs Indonesia: Wajib nonton!



Mungkin adalah kunci
Untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
Telah hilang
Tanpa lelah sampai engkau
Meraihnya

Laskar pelangi
Takkan terikat waktu
Bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
Raih bintang di jiwa

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia tak seindah surga
Bersukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia

Selamanya...

Cinta kepada hidup
Memberikan senyuman abadi
Walau ini kadang tak adil
Tapi cinta lengkapi kita

Laskar pelangi
Takkan terikat waktu
Jangan berhenti mewarnai
Jutaan mimpi di bumi

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia takseindah surga
Bersukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia

Selamanya...

Kata-kata tentang Kota-kota

Kenapa ada post aneh ini...karena ada kota-kota yang aku kunjungi yang mmemberiku kesan yang khusus...kesan yang kuat... mencoba membandingkan setiap kota-kota itu....dengan kata-kataku..

Paris...kota yang buatku harus diabadikan dalam foto-foto hitam putih... karena Paris nggak akan kehilangan indahnya kalaupun ia kehilangan warnanya... malah, menurutku dalam gambar-gambar monokrom detail-detail kota ini akan semakin terasa, soalnya kalau dilihat begitu saja, Paris benar2 "assault on the senses" dengan semua warnanya, suaranya, geraknya... Kalau dalam foto hitam putih, Paris jadi cukup simpel, cukup kecil, cukup sederhana untuk dimengerti..walaupun dalam potongan yang kecil itu tetap saja nggak hilang anggunnya, nggak hilang klasiknya...

Venesia... kota yang seolah seperti lukisan cat air... dengan warna2 pudar namun sangat kaya..kota yang penuh sudut-sudut kecil, tapi seolah2 tiap di belokannya ada satu pemandangan yang pantas jadi lukisan... Kota yang terasa luntur tapi masih tetap berdiri...dn lagi.. Venesia memang kota yang dikelilingi air..hahaha...Venesia...seolah2 punya "color scheme" sendiri... warna merah bata muda yang dipantulkan air kanal berwarna biru...

Berlin...seperti sebuah filem panjang tentang sejarah manusia...filem lama yang kalau diputar layarnya berkedip-kedip...begitu banyak yang terekam, begitu banyak yang terjadi...Berlin nggak bisa ditangkap hanya dalam gambar atau foto karena nggak akan cukup untuk menunjukkan emosinya, gejolaknya...

Roma...adalah satu buku cetak sejarah..hahaha.... Datanglah ke Roma, lihatlah ia, tapi tanpa niat untuk tau tentang masa jaya yang sudah lewat, orang nggak bisa menghargai Roma sepenuhnya... selayaknya pelajaran sejarah yang isinya melulu tentang masa lalu, begitupun Roma...

Dan Singapur? Dalam kepalaku Singapur adalah kota muncul dalam rendering gemerlapan..hahaha... Kota yang harus dipoles, di-design, diperbagus...anything but being shown naturally... bukan karena Singapur nggak cukup glamor, nggak cukup bagus, tapi karena kota ini punya target, ingin dilihat seperti apa oleh dunia, dan semua usaha untuk me-render-nya semata buat mengejar target itu...Image itu....

Aku Cinta (Puisi) Indonesia!

Kemaren diundang makan sama temen org Prancis, but anehnya yg dateng org Asia semua..*Paris Asian Nite? Huhuhu aneh...* tapi berhubung ada org Indonesia yg gak bisa ngomong cina, orang Cina yg gak bisa ngomong Inggris, org Korea, org Singapur, n terakhir one brave French guy yg mengundang semua org Asia ini...jadilah bhs Prancis "lingua franca"nya.. meskipun gw cuma nangkep sekitar 50% dari yg diomongin..huhu..

Anyway, di tengah bhs2 yg campur aduk (Indo, Inggris, Mandarin, Prancis..), gw ngomong sm tmn Indo gw yg ud lama sekolah di Prancis, bhw dari byk bahasa gw tetep merasa bhs Indo yg paling puitis. Dan well.. Dia ngeliat ke gw, dan berekspresi kyk "Are you serious....?" kind of look.... Percakapan selengkapnya kira2 gini:
Gw n J: ngobrol2 ngalor ngidul pake bhs Indo gaul
RF *org cina*: "C'est comme la langue des animaux,ca!" *"Kayak bhs binatang..."
Gw: *uhm hrsnya ini in French, but dijadiin indo biar gampang* "Gak, ini krn bhs gaul, tp bhs Indo yg formal sih bagus.'
Org2 Sg: "Oh jadi ada ya bhs Indo yg formal?"
J: "Ada... tapi gw sih gak bisa ngomong.."
Gw: "Eh tp gw merasa tetep bhs indo tuh paling puitis..'
J: "Ok...................."

Huhuhuhuhu...Emg sih ini ud sering dibahas di blog gw...krn somehow hal yg paling gw suka dari Indonesia adalah bahasanya... sampe2 satu2nya pertimbangan gw utk balik dan kerja di Indonesia adalah supaya bisa dekat dgn bhs Indonesia, n supaya kl gw punya anak dia bisa belajar bhs Indonesia...hahahaha....but well, I'm serious about this... kl gak krn indahnya bhs Indo, udah lama gw gak bkl ngurus/ mikir identitas gw sng org Indo. ya bhs Prancis jg keren sih...tapi...ahhh...gw ud pernah denger *as in, bener2 denger n mikirin kata2nya* bhs Inggris, Prancis, Mandarin, Jepang, Tamil, Hindi, Parsi, Yahudi, Jawa, Batak, Minang, Melayu, Jerman, Italia *overrated!*, Swedia, Arab, Vietnam, Tagalog...but tetep aja, bhs paling indah, hidup bhs Indonesia!

Sebagai bukti, dan krn gw ud mulai kangen buku2 sastra bermutu Indonesia, di bawah ini 2 puisi dari Sapardi Djoko Damono... singkat, namun menyentuh....

Hujan Bulan Juni

tak ada yang lebih tabah dari hujan bulan juni
dirahasiakannya rintik rindunya kepada pohon berbunga itu

tak ada yang lebih bijak dari hujan bulan juni
dihapusnya jejak-jejak kakinya yang ragu-ragu di jalan itu

tak ada yang lebih arif dari hujan bulan juni
dibiarkannya yang tak terucapkan diserap akar pohon bunga itu

Aku Ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada
_____

What is it about travelling....

....that makes one reveal so much to another person? Was listening to (Sir) Peter Cook's lecture about his studio program, about inhabitable bridges and people living in boats, in vehicles, and hey, the architectural aspects of it was all well and good, but one thing that still stays in my mind now is something he said, along the lines of: What is it about vehicles, about travel, that makes it so special?

(Sir) Peter Cook said, "When you are on a plane, hundreds of miles above the earth, something is different. I've got a friend who normally won't tell me anything on the ground, but I took a flight with him, and in the middle of the flight, he started telling me very personal things that he won't normally reveal!"

Hmm....I don't know how true it is for people in general, but quite recently I found out how true it could be for me. Travelling makes one more receptive, more excited, but also more honest and vulnerable as well. Curious phenomenon, isn't it? And it's not only true for long distance travel, but for shorter ones as well. A lot of information I know about my friends and family, I gained when travelling with them, whether it is on a plane, a train, just MRT and bus from one place in Singapore to another... and even inside lifts!

Wonder why is that so? Some theories:

1.when two people got thrown together in a limited space (e.g. lift, aeroplane seats), with the prospect of spending hours and hours together, more often than not they will talk for the sake of talking..especially if one of them is the type that cannot stand "uncomfortable silence". Now, usually when people talk for a long time, most probably they branch into personal things, especially if they have not known each other very well, because personal, daily things are the things that people most easily relate to. I mean, if I'm on a train journey with a friend I don't usually talk to *for the purpose of illustration, let's pretend this friend is a non-archi friend*, of course I won't start blabbering about Modernism or structural integrity or line qualities..I'll either freak that friend out or bore him/her off... Instead I'll talk about school, family, friends...and who knows where it might lead to! *Note to self: Be more careful when talking about seemingly trivial things.*

2.Travelling provides a lot of stimulus, which means more things to talk about, even between people who have known each other reasonably well. More things to talk to=more time talking, more time talking=more probability of revealing deep hidden secrets! *Note to self again:When you get excited by a new experience...think before you speak!* *Quite difficult for a spontaneous person like me..*

3. Travelling means new places, and more often than not, new atmospheres... and as architects, interior designers, or anybody who study spaces know, ambience can do a lot fo things -alter mood, inject feelings, and subtly encourage people to do things they don't normally do, or say things they don't normally say...*Need to make some more note to self...Since it seems I am greatly affected by this...Haih....*

Oh well,should try to be more aware of the relations between things like this and human behaviour...*especially my own...*, but yeah, that's why I love to study architecture..cuz it makes me more and more sensitized to things I don't usually notice.

Ow, and the next time you wanna get to know a friend better, schedule a lunch to somewhere far from both your houses, and use the journey well!

Loving the World

"What we need is not the cold acceptance of the world as compromise, but some way in which we can heartily hate and heartily love it. We do not want joy and anger to neutralise each other and produce a surly contentment; we want a fiercer delight and a fiercer discontent. Can we hate the world enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing? Can we be at once not only pessimists and optimists, but fanatical pessimists and fanatical optimists?"
-G.K Chesterton

To My Valentine -Ogden Nash

Right, I know it's a long way from Valentine's Day, but this post has nothing to do with 14th February. It's a poem by one of my favorite authors that I just suddenly remembered, and in my personal opinion it's the funniest love poem I've come across. Enjoy!

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That's how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That's how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That's how you're loved by me.

Dan sekali lagi Paris....

Sebelum gw dateng ke kota ini, gw udah punya image sendiri di kepala gw (dan gw yakin, hampir semua org jg punya image ttg Paris itu)..seperti apa Paris itu, seperti apa orang2nya, seperti apa susunannya, dan suasananya…Tapi begitu kuatnya image Paris sbg kota yg legendaris, yg nun jauh di sana, sampe2 gw sendiri waktu pertama dateng sedikit2 harus meyakinkan diri gw bhw gw memang lagi ada di sini.. ngeliat org2 Prancis berseliweran, gedung2 residential yg jauh *JAUH* lebih indah drpd HDB di Singapur…sampe waktu jln2 malam abis dinner gw terheran2 dan merasa lucu sendiri mengingat kok bisa2nya kebiasaan jln2 mlm di Toa Payoh town park bisa ganti ke jalanannya Paris..

Setelah semingguan ada di sini, kota ini mulai menjadi nyata buat gw… ritmenya mulai terasa, kehidupannya mulai menjadi kehidupan gw…dan gw menikmatinya….

Paris…. Salah satu image yg paling sering ada di kepala orang: Paris adalah kota mode. Pertamanya sih,gw ngeri jg bakal sekolah di sini, soalnya yah… gw sama sekali bukan jenis org yg mengurus penampilan gw… Kan gak lucu kl dikit2 gw disangka gembel… Setelah nyampe sini..yah, memang sih orang2 Paris pakaiannya bagus2 dan rapi2, apalagi anak2 skul gw yg nyata2 sekolah design, but byk jg kok yg pakaiannya biasa2 aja.. Cuma yg gw observe, berhubung cuaca di sini dingin, rata2 org pake baju beberapa layer, atau syal, atau sepatu yg bagus, tebel dan anget, jadinya emg keliatan lebih keren..

Mengenai pakaian ber-layer2 ini…waktu pertama dateng gw sempet mikir, “Ah gw gak bakal deh repot2 gitu,” berhubung dari dulu cara berpakaian gw itu mencontoh slogan KB: “Cukup dua saja.” – satu baju atasan, tambah bawahan yg biasanya terdiri dari celana pendek surfing *tp akhir2 ud tobat, mulai pake jeans..*. Yg namanya topi-lah, sabuk, syal, scarf etc asing bagi gw..paling banter jg jaket kl di studio. Tp di sini….ugh…udaranya dingin dan anginnya kenceng…sampe meskipun pake jaket jg terasa anginnya meniup sampe ke kulit….Oh well, gw mulai byk2 meng-observe les Parisians supaya tau bagaimana berpakaian tahan dingin yg baik dan benar….hahaha…

Image lain yg ada…Paris adalah kotanya gourmet food alias makanan mahal dan berkelas…Itu emang bener sih, byk restoran2 bertebaran yg memancarkan aura “Wah….”, dan di pinggir jalan byk kafe2 kecil yg kesannya emg chic dan keren… Trus, gw ud beberapa kali makan di tempat temen2 org Prancis, n yeah, they appreciate good food *unlike the British ;p*, and they know how slowly savour a meal, to enjoy it to the fullest.

Nah, mentality ini beda bgt sm org Singapur..di sini lunch time *dari jam 12 sampe jam 2* adalah waktu sakral yg gak boleh diganggu gugat…Malahan bisa molor melebihi 2 jam huhuhu… Oh dan satu lagi yg membuat gw rada2 shock..org sini suka terlambat…gak kira2 lagi, terlambatnya…atau apa Cuma sekolah gw aja ya?

Ttg ESA…Ecole Speciale d’Architecture…Well…gw masih mencoba mengerti skul gw ini..but byk bgt hal2 yg beda dgn NUS…Contoh: di sini guru2nya hobi telat, atau malah menghilang dari kelas sama sekali..

Kelas pertama gw, gurunya sama sekali gak dtg pdhl murid2 ud nungguin sejam di kelas..n setelah tny senior, ternyata tuh guru emg sering either telat ato gak dateng…huhuhu buset…But konon gurunya emg nyentrik..dia ngajar sejarah arsitektur Paris dan ktnya kl dia ngajar dia pake kostum bangsawan Prancis gt..jadi penasaran..bt jgn2 gurunya sering g dateng krn cuma punya satu stel kostum n berhubung di Paris jarang ada matahari, bajunya gak kering hahahaa..

Contoh kedua: guru fotografi…setelah ditungguin 45 menit, semua murid bosan dan cabut keluar kelas…eh gurunya lg jln pelan2 ke kelas..masuk lagi deh kita semua…. Contoh ketiga..kantor administrasi sekolah tuh seharusnya buka jam 9.30, tp yah..pas gw ke sana digedor2 jam 11 jg pintunya msh kekunci huhuhu…Dan contoh terakhir yg kemarin terjadi..semua anak2 exchange, about 15 of us, diminta ketemu sm principal n school director, jadilah kita semua nunggu di hall sambil duduk2..gw sm tmn2 sengaja dateng telat 15min, dgn pikiran, jadi gak usah nunggu begitu lama..Well, setelah duduk2 g jelas sekitar sejam, akhirnya org administrasi dateng n blg bhw principal n director nya lagi ada problem..huhuhuhu aneh abis…

Anyway, gw seneng sih soalnya ini pertama *dan terakhir..* kalinya gw belajar di sekolah yg semua2nya didedikasikan buat arsitektur..Nama sekolahnya aja kl diterjemahkan artinya "Sekolah Khusus Arsitektur"… Pas gw ambil pelajaran bhs Prancis, ada perkenalan diri singkat, dan kita semua disuruh blg, “Nama, kelas, hobi, bangunan favorit di Paris dan kenapa memilih belajar arsitektur.” Hahahaha…Udah gitu, ujiannya jg ttg arsitektur…Oral examnya aja disuruh ngomong ttg satu bangunan atau satu architectural term….Buat murid2 Prancis-nya jg, ada pelajaran bhs Inggris yg muatannya semua ttg arsitektur –‘English for Western architecture”, things like that. Atmosphere sekolahnya lumayan fun, krn model2 berserakan *kayak sampah sih..haha*, poster2 ttg archi, trus terasa bhw semua org yg lewat2 adalah calon arsitek hahahaha…

Uhh…pjg jg yah post-nya..gw masih pengen nulis ttg org2 homeless di Paris, ttg metro-nya,ttg org2 Paris itu sendiri..but well, sambung lain post deh….

Irritating Italy….

Dalam bukunya Andrea Hirata, gw pernah baca paragraf yg intinya: orang2 Italia tuh, dari mulai supir bis sampe tukang copet, semuanya ganteng. Meskipun selera gw lebih ke arah cowok pinter daripada cowok ganteng , gak urung gw penasaran juga.Masa sih ada negara yg semua2 orgnya ganteng..? Jadi dgn penuh rasa ingin tau, gw menunggu2 kunjungan gw ke Italia dalam rangka Eurotrip gw….

Well….setelah balik dari Italia… gw teringat lagi satu hal yg gw pegang teguh sbg ‘pedoman kutu buku’, yg gw pernah baca lama banget dulu, lupa di mana- “kalau seseorang mempercayai semua yang tertulis di dalam buku, lebih baik orang itu tidak membaca buku sama sekali.”

Italia…haih… jujur aja Italia mengecewakan gw..tp mungkin jg itu karena gw punya ekspektasi yg cukup tinggi terhadap Italia…orang2nya, makanannya, bangunan2nya…. Dan ternyata, sekarang gw sampe pada kesimpulan: Prancis jauh lebih keren dan mantep daripada Italia… mungkin jg itu akibat dari ketidak beruntungan gw di Italia, but yg jelas…Italy is so over-rated! Mulai dari mana yah…unek2nya…

(Hm mungkin unek2 ini sangat gak penting banget, but yah, ternyata toh ada jg tmn gw laen yg kecewa sama Italia,jadi mungkin bisa jadi pedoman buat org2 laen yg bakal mau ke Italia nantinya..)

Kenapa gw benci abis sama Italia sampe sempet sumpah2 gak mo balik lagi ke sana?

1.Italia itu..PANAS BOK… ok lah gw emang ke sananya pas summer, tp ternyata matahari nya bisa lebih menyengat daripada Singapur..masalahnya, di Singapur itu meskipun panas tp gak gersang, n dimana2 air-con. Italia? Boro2 deh..jalan2 ke taman aja rumputnya mengering semua.. trus orang Eropa enggak biasa pake air-con, jadi kl malem yah..tanggung aja panasnya deh…

2.Italia itu…SUPER TOURISTIC….dan kyknya semua turis emg selalu pake guidebook yg sama, dgn hasil semua tempat yg lu kunjungi jg akan dikunjungi oleh ribuan org lainnya..gw tau, gw sendiri jg turis, but yah..jadi turis jg ada etiquette-nya kali yah..mungkin lebih baik gak usah mengunjungi St.Peter’s Basilica kalo di saat yg sama byk bgt org yg jepret sana-sini, sampe pose2 di samping patung Yesus disalib segala, yg menurut gw sangat merusak pengalaman mengunjungi gereja yg sebetulnya megah abis itu.. Mungkin jg sih krn gw gak suka keramaian..model org yg bkl milih tempat aneh tp sepi drpd tempat keren tp rame..haha.. Satu jg yg gw agak mikir, termasuk membuat gw malu, bhw turis2 itu semua, termasuk gw, mengunjungi tempat2 “must-see” itu ya for the sake of seeing a must-see place, tanpa peduli background-nya, sejarah-nya, bagaimana cara menghargai seni-nya… pokoknya asal foto trus beres…yah tp bagusnya, dgn melihat itu timbul jg keinginan utk belajar dan mengerti sih, penasaran kenapa sih on the first place tempat ini, ato patung ini, ato lukisan ini, dielu-elukan sbg sesuatu yg wajib diliat…

3.Italia itu…MAHAL ABIS… mulai dari pasta di Roma, sampe akomodasi di Milan, Italy, in summer at least, is a rip-off. Yg plg gawat sih di Venice..di sana internet sejam 8 euros, kira-kira S$16…SEJAM! Laundry-nya jg mahal…yg murah *dlm ukuran Eropa* paling cuma gelato-nya… *harus gw akui makan gelato yg emg rasanya macem2 bgt n enak paling enggak cukup membuat gw ada kenangan menyenangkan di Italia..* Transport jg mahal *ok Paris sedikit lebih mahal ding..* , but well…turisnya bejibun gitu…mbok ya..infrastruktur-nya ditingkatkan…

4.Italia itu…TIDAK EFISIEN….entah kenapa mengingatkan gw bgt sama Indonesia…ke-slebor-an nya mirip sih… kereta2nya suka telat, dan waktu gw naik kereta subuh2 sm tmn gw, tiba2 ada pengumuman suruh ganti kereta dlm bhs Italia…mana ngerti man..utg ada jg org yg bisa omg inggris n jelasin.. trus waktu gw ke Milan..di tourist map-nya jelas2 tertera waktu buka dan tutup museum2 etc, but begitu gw kunjungi, ternyata pada buka n tutup seenaknya.. krn penjaganya libur lah, masih makan siang lah, renovasi lah… dan bkn cuma 1,2 museum, tp ada 5 biji museum yg waktu itu gw kunjungi..huhu.. *ok one good thing about Milan, museumnya byk yg gratis, tp ya itu, buka-tutup seenaknya…* Dgn anehnya, ada satu museum yg gw kunjungi, krn summer jd g ada penjaganya..museumnya kecil, trus pengawasnya cuma satu satpam merangkap resepsionis yg pas itu kena pilek, jadi sibuk bersin2….Mengenaskan..huhu…

5.Italia itu…YANG DILIAT ITU2 AJA… namely, reruntuhan (di Roma terutama), lukisan, gereja, patung....yah emang sih, di Sistine chapel konon Michaelangelo meninggalkan masterpiece-nya, dan di Florence patung David berdiri tegap..but still…masalahnya, selain works of art itu suasanya kotanya, apalagi Roma *ok gw harus jujur skrg bhw dari Italia gw paling benci Roma*, biasa bgt n cenderung serem… gak bisa dibandingin sama Kopenhagen ato Praha di mana “makan suasana” aja udah bisa kenyang…haha… Well Venice is indeed unique, but yah, keluarlah subuh2 ato malem2 kl gak mo berdesakan dgn ribuan org laen yg jg menganggap Venice unique…

6.Italia itu… ORANGNYA GAK TERLALU RAMAH… gw jg gak tau napa…ya barangkali jg krn gw gak ngerti bahasanya jg ditolong org jg percuma krn gak ngerti..I mean, ya mereka masih mau bantu lah, but beberapa kali gw ktemu org2 ketus *termasuk org Tourism office-nya..parah, ganti kerjaan aja jadi bouncer..huh…* yg selama di Prancis –dari mulai Paris, Lyon, Dijon, Chambery, blm pernah deh gw ktemu yg kyk gitu..malah sejauh ini org2 go out of their way to help..

7.Italia itu…makanannya gak seenak yg gw bayangkan..hahaha..ini jelas, kesalahan gw krn ekspektasi yg terlalu tinggi…but yeah, kl pengen makan masakan Italia, gw rasa sih Spageddies di Singapur provides a very good *and much cheaper* fare..gw nyobain aglio-olio di Roma..di restoran yg padahal byk org Itali-nya ngantre, but ternyata biasa bgt jadinya…dan pizza-ny...uhh…tipis…mungkin setipis kantong turis2 yg lama tinggal di Venesia hahaha…

8.Italia itu….BANYAK NYAMUK….Buset…gak pernah ke-image di kepala gw negara Eropa byk nyamuknya..but bener deh,gw abis digigitin nyamuk di Milan…dari mulai kaki tangan sampe muka segala… Ganas abis.. *mungkin nyamuk2 itu belum pernah nyoba darah Asia sebelumnya, trus jadi suka, gitu…huhu…*

9.Terakhir, yg membuat gw melengos kl inget Italia…ternyata cowok2 Italia itu gak ganteng…dibanding orang Prancis mah,kalah jauh deh..hahaha..Masalahnya, ternyata di Italia itu tipe2 cowoknya bisa dikategorikan ke beberapa kategori,contoh: bapak2 gendut (n di Prancis, gw kage, gak byk loh org yg gendut), cowok rambut gondrong pake kalung emas gede n kemeja bunga2*kyknya sih mafia..* , cowok dgn kulit tan dan bulu dada kemana2…..

Uhm……

Yah…masih ada lagi deh celaan2 gw terhadap Italia…but segitu dulu..hehe..

Oh tapi, penutup kunjungan gw ke Italia ternyata lucu, dan lumayan memperbaiki kesan gw ke Italia..Ceritanya, waktu naik kereta dari Milan ke Lyon (wilayah Perancis), gw ud bener2 kesenengan krn bkl masuk Perancis..ud kesel bgt terus2 denger bhs Italia yg nyatanya gak terlalu keren..jadinya gw dgn senang hati nyapa2 org “Bonjour!” kiri-kanan..French gitu loh.. n ternyata di dalem kereta ada tempat duduk kosong di samping seorang bapak2, yg gw langsung gw anggap org Prancis,soalnya gmn yah.. kyknya dia lumayan elegan gitu,n auranya beda aja *ok gw sedikit mengada2..but ya, kira2 feel-nya beda gitu d..* bapak2nya udah tua, tp masih langsing dan ganteng..dan ternyata, pas gw mo naikin backpack gw ke tempat bagasi di atas, dia langsung berdiri n ngebantu gw..sambil senyum manis segala… waktu itu gw sih mikir “Tuh kan org Prancis emg beda bgt sm org Italia..gini dong baru keren..”. Dgn semangat menggebu pengen ngomong bhs Prancis gw tawarin tuh bapak2 coklat, “Voulez-vous un chocolat?”, but anehnya pas abis mkn dia blgnya “Very good!” ,pdhl org Prancis biasa seneng ngomong bhs Prancis…Well gw tidak menyerah, sepanjang perjalanan, meski sambil ngantuk2 gw sekali2 senyum ke arah dia, berharap bkl diajak ngomong bhs Prancis..but anehnya sampe akhir perjalanan tuh bapak jg senyum2 tp diem2 aja..pdhl sejauh itu org2 Prancis yg gw temui suka ngobrol2 ringan..apalagi ttg Sarkozy… Nah, pas terakhir gw mo turunin backpack gw dari atas, sekali lagi tu bapak langsung berdiri n bantuin gw, jadi jelas gw blg “Merci beaucoup!” dong…dan dia, tetep, senyum2 aja..

Terakhir, pas gw mo jalan ke luar kereta, tuh bapak dgn senyum manis dan pandangan karismatik melihat ke arah gw, dan blg..”Cao…”

….Yaelah,org Italia toh….blg kek dari tadi…..

But well….kl gak gara2 tu bapak gw bakal lebih sepenuh hati lagi ngutuk2in Italy….

*end note...gw bkl langsung melanggar sumpah gw utk gak dateng2 lagi ke Italy...krn ternyata studio gw di Paris bakal site-survey ke Venesia...ampun deh....huhuhu...

A Little Inspiration....

"...relationships consist not so much in words, but in meanings..."

Am quoting a friend's blog, he is an American but stayed and taught in Japan...

"In other words, I could hardly understand them, they could hardly understand me (much to the chagrin of those who think I'm fluent in Japanese..haha)...but, over time, we began to understand each other. Relationships take time, tests, and testimonies of shared victories and defeats...laughter and tears...smiles and frowns...misunderstandings that birth understandings...and love. Tenacious love.

Without the meaningful contact, purpose, and mutual affinity to want to want to be close that Musashi Kengo Taiko had with each other, the above photo could never have been taken on my last day in Japan. Sure, it was a nice gesture to send me off to the airport, but the tears that followed this photo are etched forever in my memory of a supreme principle I strive to invoke for every encounter I have with people: treat others the way you want to be treated."

It becomes very relevant for me especially right now, after a month of trying to figure out what other people are saying and learning thta the best greeting often is not "Bonjour" or "Hej" or "Buon Giorno", but often just a simple smile...

Addicted to Grass....

Right....before people wonder how come I'm addicted to grass even before I get to Amsterdam, let me explain.. I'm addicted to, specifically, lying around in grass... and being in Europe has made this addiction even more chronic...

In Singapore, where we have amazing lawns to lie down on, people frown when being asked to lie down / do activites in grass...I guess, it's somewhat justified since Singaporean grass is,how shall I say it, prickly, not to mention they can be infested by tropical insects..

Well...that still can't beat my fascination with lying on grass.... Somehow, closing my eyes when feeling the soil beneath me, and playing with grass tufts with my hand...is just so, very, enjoyable.... Do it early in the morning or late at night, when the soil is comparatively colder, and it can be very relaxing...two feelings I usually have after lying around in grass in "recharged" and "de-stressed" *that's why during my A-level period I laid down on grass almost everyday in a garden near my place...*

I've tried Botanic Gardens grass, my apartment's garden, ,Toa Payoh park, even NUS grass near Techno Edge *INFESTED BIG TIME by insects and ants..not recommended!*, but yea, there aren't many places in Singapore where you can lie down on grass and people won't stare... (another advantage of doing it at night when it is dark..).... In my humble opinion, the best grass to lie down on is the patch across The Fullerton besides Singapore river, just outside the Asian Civilisations Museum. The grass type is smaller compared to that usually found around Singapore, and as such it is also softer. Plus, you've got the river scenery to enjoy..aahhh....

But back to European grass. Last semester, I had a friend, an exchange student from Europe, who also like to lie down on grass, and his first reaction on trying Singapore grass is: "Oh, it's so prickly!" Having laid down on European grass in almost every city I've visited *except Copenhagen and Malmo*, I now understand fully what he meant. And I qoute, "Compared to Singaporean grass, European grass is soft as silk!"

And it still amazes me how the culture here is really to "go out and play"... Was taking a short nap in a park in Lyon, and eventually I was gently woken up by the buzz of activity around me...all happening on grass! Boys playing soccer, people chatting, sleeping, eating, playing badminton, couples dating *cheap and romantic! ;p*...just so many things happening!

The true spirit of summer is in the parks of Europe...and boy do I love the summer grass!

Nomad No More...

Singapore-Paris-Stockholm-Helsinki-Stockholm-Malmo-Copenhagen-
Berlin-Prague-Rome-Florence-Venice-Milan-Lyon-Dijon-Paris

So. Am back from a one month travel around Europe....and am still getting used to waking up in the same bed, having an established routine, cooking for dinner instead of eating Middle Eastern food *cheapest you can find usually, here in Europe*, hearing just French and English instead of Finnish, Swedish, German, Italian and what-have-yous, having more than just 4 shirts to choose from, and living from a roomful of stuff instead of just a backpack....

Still heady from the sense of accomplishment and adventure I got from travelling...Trying to figure out a city the moment we arrive there *and grumbling when there are no free maps available or the Tourist Office is closed for whatever reason..*, mingling with the city people in public transport - though with our Asian faces and huge backpacks we were as conspicuous as can be...took the wrong bus from Copenhagen to Berlin though still managed to arrive at the right place...brushing teeth at the side of the road, nearing midnight at Florence, cursing Italian train services for their inefficiency and non-user-friendliness *I mean, an announcement that you gotta change train, suddenly, in the wee hours of the morning, in Italian? Heck, but more about Italy on another post..*

In a sense, it's really my first big "adventure", my first time travelling as a "backpacker", and guess what, I'm sold.. Even with all the things that could go wrong, one learns so much about other cities and oher culture by figuring out the city while travelling, compared to going on a tour and being whisked by a tour bus from one touristy place to another..

About the questions I'm looking to answer in my travels... I've got the answers,all right. I've "proven" *to myself, anyway* that people really are out to help, no matter that they are "white" and I'm "Asian", no matter that they're Finns, Swedes, German, Italian or French...no matter that I'm just a stranger blind about their language and culture, and there's nothing in it for them..no matter that I'm actually very vulnerable to crime, especially when I was alone... Of course, no one actually gave their money to me, or donated blood, or did big, heroic kind of things.. I received a lot of little kindness... a help to pull my luggage, patient people trying to explain directions with limited english, hosts that opened up their houses to me, people asking if I need help when I stared for a long time at a map, a hitchhike, things like that... In and of themselves, they're trivial things that need just a little time, a litte patience, a little effort.. but try being on the receiving end, and receive those little gestures again, again, and again, and again.... Well I start feeling proud to be a part of humanity...

And about my gender...I've made a sort of funny peace with myself.... I thought I'd finally be able to wholly accept that I'm a girl, and a very independent girl, and that it's fine that I'm born a girl, if I manage to travel alone all around Europe for the whole month... Well, it turned out that people joined me from here and there, and I met hosts and couchsurfers..that I was truly really alone only in Helsinki, Venice and Milan... still, it's enough to assure myself that in modern communities, being a girl isn't really much worse than being a boy..and I met lone woman travellers from all over! There were several in Helsinki, Milan, then in Venice I met a girl from Hong Kong who did a very "intense" Eurotrip - doing one city one day and sleeping on the train each night... Wow...Now we're talking girl power....

Anyway, the peace I made with myself is in accepting that yeap, for sure a girl can't do everything a girl wants to do,but hey, a girl still can do a lot of things *especially one as stubborn as me, I guess..*

Hm...this trip also made me realise how far I've moved on from being a geeky loner...Well, I guess it's been a long time since I was someone who really craves solitude,and much *MUCH* prefer the company of books to people...but I've never really accepted it, I think..in a way, I think it's cooler *and much less troublesome* to be a "geeky loner"... The enjoyment I got from meeting lots of people on the way...the ease with which I connect to them...the sadness and high hopes of meeting again when it was parting time.... those feelings surprised even myself...who since young thought I'm independent enough not to depend on too many people or miss them too much...

Am I chasing after a new identity now? That of a seasoned traveller who love Life and people? We'll see...

On a last note, travelling made me realise how much I don't know *or how much I DID know, but forget..* ....geography, art, architecture, culture, personalities, economy, religion, beliefs....The flames of curiosity is burning harder than ever before!

Help Me Believe - Nichole Nordeman

Take me back to the time

When I was maybe eight or nine

And I believed

When Jesus walked on waters blue
And if He helped me, I could too

If I believed

Before rationale, analysis and systematic thinking

Robbed me of a sweet simplicity

When wonders and when mysteries

Were far less often silly dreams

And childhood fantasies

Help me believe

'Cause I don't want to miss any miracles

Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes

And I would shed this grownup skin I'm in
To touch an angel's wing

And I would be free

Help me believe

When mustard seeds made mountains move

A burning bush that spoke for You was good enough

When manna fell from heavens high

Just because You told the sky to open up

Am I too wise to recognise that everything uncertain

Is certainly a possibility?

When logic fails my reasoning

And science crushes underneath

The weight of all that is unseen

Help me believe

'Cause I don't want to miss any miracles

Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes

And I would shed this grownup skin I'm in

To touch an angel's wing

And I would be free

Help me believe

When someone else's education

Plays upon my reservations

I'm the first to cave, I'm the first to bleed

If I abandon all that seeks
To make my faith informed and chic

Could You, would You show Yourself to me?

Help me believe

'Cause I don't want to miss any miracles

Maybe I'd see much better by closing my eyes

And I would shed this grownup skin I'm in
To touch an angel's wing
And I would be free

Help me believe

--

Thinking back to the time when everything was sweet simplicity, which is not that long ago.. and I miss it, I do, but no, I dont wanna go back there...struggling now with things of faith, especially since in the course of my travel I've met faith of all shapes and sizes..
But it is precisely that struggle that tells me my faith is still alive..

Am still alive...

Just a short post to announce that I am alive and well in Italy..without realising it I have spent 25 days travelling...and it is really been great.. (am using Italian keyboard and cant find the apostrophe..but it is still better than Czech keyboard I guess..)
These gallivanting days are ending soon though.. hm... Im surprised actually, when I was going to travel I thought halfway I will miss the security and convenience of a home, of sleeping and waking up at the same place every night, of having everything assured instead of having to chase trains, find buses, figure out what people are saying most of the time...
But...
Now I really think I will miss these days where Im a nomad.. learning new things everyday, hearing new languages every day.. (though am getting a bit fed up with Italian and missing French..)

Oh well.... am planning the next road trip in my head already ahaha...hopefully around South East Asia...

Now am pretty worried that i will get addicted to travelling..though I should learn to make a money first so i wont keep leeching off my parents!

Helsinki!

Am in Helsinki! spent the day hunting Alvar Aalto architecture, and went to see Steven Holl´s Kiasma museum. *probably means nothing to the non-archi students, but hey it was really educational!*
So many new things...reindeer sausage, funny public toilet, tram rides, beautiful brick buildings..
Oh there was thsi church called Tempellaukio that is carved into a granite plane..that one is really a unique space..

Am staying in a 12 beds female dorm room and the cool thing is all of them except 2 are lone women travellers. Granted, I´m the puniest and the only Asian..but well...one´s gotta start somewhere...

Plus, the position of the hostel is just beside the Finnish National stadium and since this is summer lotsa Finnish guys are practicing soccer...Not that I like soccer...but I don´t mind watching Finns..hahahah...

Will be here till 3 Aug then going back to Stockholm.

Happy!

Paris Je t'aime....

Paris..is so much more awesome than what I expected... and whoever said Parisians are snobs don't know what they are talking about.. From the moment I arrived here, I've gotten so much help from people... from people who go out of their way to show me how to take the metro *complicated when not used to it...they have close to 20lines, unlike Singapore's 3 lines* , to kind men who helped me drag my suitcase up the abundance of stairs in the metro..a lady that bought metro ticket for me with her credit card because I don't have coins, an internet cafe patron that allows me to charge my hp as I'm using the internet.. peoplewho smile and say "Bonjour!"... Well I guess I'm totally flouting the "don't talk to strangers" rule.....but a great thing about being an Asian who can speak French is that the Asians I meet are happy to talk to me because there aren't many Asians around, and the French I talk to are happy since I can speak French.....hahahaha....

Regarding the city....Paris is too beautiful.....was using my morning just to walk around the non-touristy part of town, and all I could do was gape....Gaped at the honey coloured building and the riotous summer flowers.... at the mignon French babies and the beautiful trees...

I've gotten my adventure.... Having to make my way around an unfamiliar city, alone, yesterday I was afraid as only a kid who realise that she'd purposely went alone to a strange country can be....Wondering the whole time I struggled to find my way whether I've really done the "not sensible" thing... but today....the weather is fantastic and I've gotten used to people returning my smiles and my "Bonjour!"s......and Paris....is mine to savour.....

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

....and will be back in 6 months....

Hm...excited, a bit afraid as well..fear of the unknown (actually,it's more fear of the French..hahaha...I don't know if my tongue can take the rolling "rrrr" sound...eventhough I'm Indonesian.. )

Will be travelling around Europe first for the whole of August..and well...looking forward to it and at the same time wondering whether I'll be up to it.. Friends have wished me luck, asked me to be careful, asked me not to easily trust people on the road, asked me to be alert, to not drink any drink offered by strangers..only my archi tutor *our dear Florian* gave me a different advice: "Hope you get lost."

Uhm....Yea..but hopefully won't get lost for too long...

Wondering about a lot of things... I guess I have a lot of expectations for the month long trip, unlike when I go to Vietnam, especially since I'll be wandering around alone for some parts of it... I've always been looking for adventure, adventure, adventure, and at last I'm going to get it in pretty large doses, and it feels not like a leisurely holiday like it's supposed to be, but somehow it feels like a challenge, a feat... Funny, but it also feels like I'm putting a bet on humanity in general... Though I know the people I'll meet along the way, whether trustworthy or untrustworthy, will be a mere fraction of all the members of our species..

I wonder if my naivety will be my downfall...I wonder if I am really naive at all...
I wonder if my trusting nature will land me in trouble...or if I'll prove to myself that people are not out to get other people, but to help..
I wonder if my God will take care of me..I wonder how...and I wonder why must He..
I wonder if my gender will betray me...or if at last I'll be able to make peace with myself, ''Hey being girl is not bad at all, if it's safe for a guy to backpack around Europe alone,it's safe for a girl too.."

Reckless? Oh well... All the experiences I've got while having to confront and overcome my fears, to go out of my comfort zones, are the ones that I really cherish and learn a lot from...Life is for living,
no?

As usual...the only major concern for me is that if something happens to me along the way, I would've wronged my parents big time... Haih...

Oh well, que sera, sera..

"Ujan. becek, gak ada ojek....."

Buat yang gak tau, kata2 di atas itu diucapkan oleh Cinta Laura, yg setau gw adalah artis baru indo keturunan jerman... Tadinya sih, gw gak tau Cinta Laura itu siapa, cuma sering kebaca di blog2 orang indo yg biasa gw kunjungi..Akhirnya penasaran juga, jadi gw coba youtube namanya.. Eh ternyata yg keluar tuh byk bgt video yg pada dasarnya adalah variasi kalimat tersebut: "Ujan, becek, gak ada ojek..".. Beneran deh, ada versi hip-hop lah, versi Mulan jameela lah, extravaganza lah, etc....

Setelah menonton berbagai video itu dengan harapan bisa tau asal-muasalnya kenapa kalimat itu bisa populer banget *tadinya gw kira Cinta Laura itu penyanyi dangdut n video "Becek" itu video dangdut yg dinyanyikan dgn berguling2 seksi dalem lumpur....* , gw sekarang masih belom tau apa2..
Enlighten me, anyone?

10 things to remember in architecture school...

Found the pamphlet with this thing written on it while tidying up my model materials...Pretty useful, I guess...So here are the 10 things:

1. Start anywhere.
Stuck? Don't know where to start? Well, who cares where you start. Just do it to get past the intertia and before you know it, you are on a roll.

2. Pride
Take pride in your work. Present those sketches nicely. Make beautiful study models. Spend time laying out presentation panels and strut your stuff proudly.

3. The tutor is not God
At least most of the time they're not..

4.Own our project
Give your life to make that project yours. *Too true...* Believe in it. Research it. Defend it. (In that order.)

5. Sketch a lot. Read a lot. Do a lot.
I know, some people are screaming. But you got to clock the hours, sweat and suffer before the good stuff comes out. There's no shortcut. *Now you know why we need all those late nights..*

6. There is life out there
Don't live in the studio *Actually, I think this contradicts point no 5..but well...* Leave your work behind and go play. Without creative input, there will be no creative output.

7.Crit does not equal student bashing
It isn't you. It's your project.

8. Purpose
Know the question first, then search for an answer.

9.There are no rules
..Except for gravity. Bend every single rule that you can without getting into trouble. Hm...what the heck. Just break them.

10. Learn when to stop..
and move on.

Thoughts on Being Injured *Very uminaginative title, I know....*

Well well... until today I'd never suffered any injury while doing architecture work, whether it's making models, curing concrete, hammering nails or using the saw...In the two years I did archi, I've always thought that, after flying off the bicycle at Pulau Ubin and getting 16 stitches just before I got into year 1, I've used up all my bad luck and hence am entitled to some kind of injury "dry spell"....

My dry spell ended this afternoon... Was sitting cross-legged on the floor, cutting up my old models so I can reuse the materials...Then...my hand kinda slipped and so my penknife just went *Poke!* into the base of my toe....The wound wasn't long at all but it was pretty deep so it kept bleeding, but adding insult to injury: it's holiday, I didn't stay up late so should've been quite alert and I wasn't even doing any serious cutting...Haih...

Anyway, because the bleeding didn't stop after quite some time, I went to Thomson clinic, the only one around my house that's open on Saturday. F.Y.I , that very same clinic was where I got stitched up after my Ubin stint.. So...A bit of trepidation...I was hoping that my wound is small enough not to be stitched, but just taped...

*A bit of digressing, I think the bicycle accident actually did me some good, cause now everytime I'm wounded, scratched, bruised etc I can casually say, "Oh, small thing, nothing compared to last time.." Needless to say my heck-care attitude actually becomes more heck-care...*

So....Reached the place, and got assigned to the very same room where my wound was cleaned 2 years ago...Shoot...Sure brings back memories...The thought that crossed my mind was: "Good thing am injured on my foot, cuz even if I need stitching, I don't need a plastic surgeon to stitch it up!" Chatted with the nurse about the last time I was there, and she said, "Hmmm...You seem to have an affinity to these things.. Just don't make it a habit ok...." *Yes ma'am!*

Took photos of the room just for posterity, since I couldn't do it the last time I was there...

In the end my wound was just taped, lucky I had a tetanus jab before I went to Vietnam *an archi student's penknife is far from sterile, for sure..* ..and actually I kinda regret going to the clinic since I could've taped it myself...Better than getting stitches, yes, but it makes me feel rather criminal that AIDS patients in Africa can be medicated on US$1 a day and I had to spend S$30 on a small poke wound...I'm sure somewhere else in the world one would just spit on it and get on with life..

P.S. Please don't breathe a word to my parents about this else my backpacking plans will die a horrible death..Thanks for your co-operation. Much appreciated.

Dampak Perilaku Tomboi Terhadap (Seretnya) Hubungan Asmara

Beberapa hari ini, gw berpikir tentang diri gw sendiri..tentang kelebihan gw, kelemahan gw, keanehan gw..pokoknya sifat2 gw... dan gak bisa enggak, salah satu yg gw pikirin adalah ketomboian gw.. Gw jadi inget percakapan yg terjadi lebih dari 6 taun lalu, jamannya gw mengalami yg disebut "cinta monyet" *btw, gw blm pernah research gmn caranya monyet saling mencintai.. mungkin next post deh..hehe..*, dan gw lg ngobrol di telepon dgn org yg saat itu gw taksir...

dia*nama disamarkan demi melindungi reputasi*: "Tau nggak, aku seneng loh ngobrol sama kamu.."
gw *rada2 ge-er*: "Oh, gitu yah...hehehehe..."
dia: "Iya, soalnya kamu gampang banget diajak ngomong, aku rasanya lagi ngomong sm temen cowokku aja..."
gw:"......" *bersyukur bhw ngobrolnya lewat telepon krn raut muka gw g jelas mo ketawa ato nangis..*

Gak perlu dijelasin lagi bahwa monyet di dalem cinta gw itu bertepuk sebelah tangan... dan mungkin juga gara2 itu, gw gak pernah berani menafsirkan apakah seseorang itu tertarik sm gw ato enggak, soalnya selalu ada suara yg berbisik di kepala gw, "Hm...ya emang sih kamu deket sm orang ini, tapi jangan2 kamu dianggap temen cowoknya, lagi.."

Well....beberapa hari yg lalu gw terlibat lagi satu percakapan sm orang yg pernah gw sukai yg intinya kira2 adalah (lagi2): gw kurang feminin...huhuhu....

Yah, kalo sekarang sih, gw bisa menerima kata2 seperti itu sambil tertawa, tanpa ucapan itu terngiang2 terus di kepala gw..
"kamu seperti cowooook......seperti cowoooooo....wooook.....woooook...."
Gw sendiri toh sadar bhw gw gak menunjukkan keanggunan, kelembutan, apalagi kerapuhan seorang cewek..tapi gw beruntung bhw udah pernah ada orang2 *khilaf?* yg menyayangi gw apa adanya, yang menyadarkan gw bahwa kepribadian seperti yg gw punya ini ternyata ada jg yg mau..hahahaha... Anyway, gw mungkin bisa mengubah diri gw, sesuai nasehat ma2 gw *yg mungkin mikir dulu pas hamil apa dia sempet salah makan*.. tapi gw gak yakin gw mau mengubah diri gw... "Lebih baik jadi versi kelas satu dari dirimu sendiri, daripada versi kelas dua dari orang lain", gitu kan kata pepatah... Cliche, but true.. Plus, daripada gw dikira bencong yg pertumbuhannya terhambat...

Well..jelas gw pengen kalau seandainya Tuhan berbaik hati memberi gw pasangan hidup, dia adalah orang yg dominan yg sanggup memimpin dan melindungi gw, tapi entah kenapa, gw juga pengen jadi kekuatan buat orang2 yg gw sayangi, gw pengen bisa diandalkan, gw pengen mandiri dan nggak jadi beban, gw pengen betul2 jadi teman bertualang untuk mengarungi hidup dan bukannya cuma pelabuhan yang duduk manis menunggu si Abang pulang. Makanya, dalam pikiran gw "cowok keren" itu adalah cowok yg sanggup berkata, "Say, ayo kita masuk hutan bareng, dan kalo ada celeng mengejar kita, aku siap diseruduk demi melindungi kamu.." Hehehehehe...

Anyway, kemaren tmn gw dari Ausi telpon, org yg udah kenal gw dari smp,dr jaman gw maennya sm cowok terus, sampe skrg....uhm...yah...alhamdullilah sih gw udah punya tmn2 cewek dlm jumlah yg normal... Kita ngobrol ngalor-ngidul, nostalgia masa lalu, yg akhirnya percakapan ditutup dgn dia mencoba meyakinkan gw bahwa gw ini cewek..hahahaha...Gw jadi keinget satu worst-case scenario yg sempat kebayang di kepala gw dulu, kalo2 gw sampe pacaran:

Dia: "Kita putus aja yah...."
Gw *sambil main2in barbel dgn satu tangan* : "Ha? Emangnya kenapa? Ada yg salah?"
Dia: "Pacaran sama kamu berasa pacaran sm cowok....."

. . . . . . . . . . . .
Mungkin gw harus nawarin diri untuk ngebantu latihan buat para gay yg pengen kembali normal...

Thoughts on Being Away... (Going to be, anyway..)

Hm.... now my impending trip to Paris seems more and more "real", as in, it will eventually happen and not just some dream I'm having... Visa's out, tickets bought, got a place to put my luggage when I'm travelling, no sudden letter from Ecole Speciale saying "Mademoiselle Shiela, we regret to infrom you that you're not chic enough to study in Paris.."
Only thing though, haven't found an accomodation for 5 mths...and clearly sleeping on a mat under the Eiffel, though tempting, is not a viable option.....

More and more, I come to think of the time away as a potential "starting over" moment.. to be away from the influences of people who care about me, and whom I care for.. my parents, good friends, my church.. Time to figure out myself without having to think about others's expectations and my "reputation" *as it is, I'm not sure what exactly is my reputation, but whether for better or worse, I'm sure I have one..*.. To be honest, I'm kinda looking forward to it...To see what kind of person I will be away from all the social contracts and constraints I'm familiar with, see if my principles stand when I'm away from people I'm accountable to.. Hmm.... One thing is sure though, I would still have to answer to Architecture...

On leaving Singapore...When I was packing, I was kinda sad since I realise I cannot bring books except the very essential ones.. I'll miss my little darlings hiks.. Maybe it comes from having a lot of books since I was young, but for me a room can only feel cosy and familiar when I see books lying around.. Oh well, am looking forward to exploring Paris libraries...

J'espere que j'aimerai Paris, et Paris...aimera moi...

For what it's worth....

The four letter word got stuck in my head
The dirtiest word that I've ever said
It's making me feel alright...

For what it's worth I like you
And what is worse I really do
Things have been worse
And we had fun fun fun
'Till I said I love you
And what is worse I really do
- "For what it's worth", The Cardigans

Lagi2 gw mellow, dan lagi2 gw akan menyalahkan hujan yg emang rajin turun beberapa hari ini..Haih..yah mendingan gw nge-blog sih daripada guling2 gak jelas di tempat tidur..

Kalo ditanya "Apa sih kriteria cowok idaman kamu?", gw selalu menjawab dgn kriteria yg sebetulnya sih tadinya gw asal ngarang: 1. kristen, 2. vegetarian, 3. selera humor yg baik, 4. cinta buku, 5.cinta alam, 6. suka maen musik, 7. IQ di atas 147 *nggak ding, but yah i have a weakness for cowok pinter haha..* Gw sendiri gak yakin banget bakalan ada orang yg memenuhi semua kondisi itu, kl menurut gw sih, bisa punya 4 dari 7 aja udah untung hahaha..

Jadi betapa kagetnya gw bahwa ternyata ada orang yg memenuhi 6 dari 7 kriteria itu, ditambah beberapa bonus ekstra, seperti mencintai buku2 yg sama dgn yg gw cintai.. Well, sayangnya justru satu hal yang nggak dia penuhi adalah hal yang nggak bisa ditawar2, meskipun sekarang gw meragukan itu...

Kemaren gw baru chat sama satu temen, dan jadinya salah satu topik yang dibahas adalah: kalo sayang sama seseorang, kenapa nggak diperjuangkan? Mungkin krn gw orgnya cinta damai, yah jadi gw bawaannya cepat menyerah.. *kecuali kl lagi ngotot2an untuk dapet ijin masuk hutan dari ortu* But seriously, gw memang berprinsip kalo perasaan itu mirip pasir di tangan...tugas gw cuma membuka telapak tangan gw, membiarkan pasir itu ada di situ.. Kalo memang pasir itu diam, baguslah, kalo ternyata ia terbang ditiup angin, apa boleh buat... yang jelas, mencoba menggenggamnya cuma bakal bikin pasir itu ngucur keluar dari sela2 telapak tangan...*Sepertinya gw menderita sindrom agresif-pasif, yaitu bersikap agresif saat gw penasaran sama seseorang, tetapi lalu jadi pasif kalo gw dituntut membuktikan komitmen gw itu jelasnya ada dimana.., kebalikan dari tipe pasif-agresif, tapi mari bahas itu di post lainnya..*

Hm..kok jadi gak jelas gitu post nya..

Anyway... sekarang ini untuk pertama kalinya gw merasa bahwa alasan2 gw di masa lalu untuk pasrah begitu aja, atau malahan kabur, adalah alasan2 sepele, dibanding yang sekarang bercokol di kepala gw.. Kenapa harus ada orang yang begitu "sama" dgn gw, tapi juga begitu berbeda.. Dan kenapa orang seperti itu datangnya dari tempat yang jauhnya minta ampun, yang mungkin cuma sekali seumur idup gw bakal bisa dateng ke sana...

Oh well....Nggak gimana banget sih jadinya.. Bukannya nyombong nih *nyombong dalam hal yg salah huhuhu...* , tapi gw selalu merasa bersyukur dengan kemampuan gw untuk cepat "lupa" hal2 yg gw anggap menyedihkan, dan tinggal mengingat kenangan2 yang menyenangkan. Kemampuan yang menyelamatkan gw dari saat2 gw bertepuk sebelah tangan, yang kayaknya sekarang harus dipake sekali lagi..

For what it's worth, gw gak nyesel sama sekali, malah bersyukur..
But as usual, Life goes on....

MacGyver!

Was booking the accomodations for my eurotrip (managed to get people to travel together, so now I won't be alone for the most part, only keep changing travel companions..haha..), and kinda browsed the net randomly while waiting for pages to upload.

Some gems:
I watched MacGyver in youtube!! Here's the URL for the intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBFD4jEFMAA&feature=related
How many of you still remember that quick thinking guy who always managed to use anything around him? MacGyver! I wonder why I didn't remember to search about it sooner..It was one of my favouriteTV shows when I was a kid.. Newae, anyone knows a guy like Mr MacGyver? Handsome, smart, athletic, adventurous.....ahh....

Ow, and came across this website that parodies wikipedia : www.tolololpedia.org . Entries are strictly in Indonesian, though, and they are hillarious!

And finally, a song by Barry Lkumahuwa: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-dM0h1TnD0
Actually, a friend recommended it in his blog because there's a gorgeous chick inside *said he, not me..*, but I find the song quite nice too..About a guy who introduced himself to a girl, but the girl just stared at him and the guy felt like he wanted to just die ;p

The Fringe Benefts of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination - JK Rowling

J.K. Rowling, author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series, delivers her Commencement Address, “The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination,” at the Annual Meeting of the Harvard Alumni Association. I found this a very inspiring read. It's rather long, but well worth your time.

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.
The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I’ve experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world’s best-educated Harry Potter convention.
Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.
You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.
Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.
I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.
These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.
Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.
I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.
They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.
I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.
I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.
What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.
At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.
I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.
However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.
Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.
Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.
So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.
Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.
The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.
Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.
You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.
One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.
There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.
Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.
I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.
And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.
Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.
Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.
And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.
Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.
Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s minds, imagine themselves into other people’s places.
Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.
And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.
I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.
What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.
One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.
That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.
But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.
If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.
I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I’ve used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.
So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.I wish you all very good lives.Thank you very much.