Heartache vs Toothache

"Lebih baik sakit gigi...daripada sakit hati... kecewa...karena cinta...."
(Lebih Baik Sakit Gigi, sung by Meggy Z, lyrics by Obbie Messakh)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFt5q7-FAH4

The above lyrics literally mean "It's better to have a toothache than to have a heartache..disappointed by love.." Was listening to old Indonesian songs and came across this song.. which got me thinking...Is having a toothache or any physical pain really better than having a heartache caused by love? *at least of the eros variety*

Asked ppl in MSN, and the result is that 5 ppl responded, all saying that having a toothache is better than having a heartache! They cite reasons like: "Well, for toothache there's pain killer but no such thing for heartache..", "Heartache can't be cured by a visit to the denstist..","Heartache.... the first cut is always deep..." (you know who you are, stop being so mellow lah!), and stuff like that.

Much as I am a hopeless romantic sometimes, I side with C.S. Lewis, who said: "The characteristics of Pains and Pleasures is that they are unmistakably real, and therefore, as far as they go, give the man who feels them a touchstone of reality.... five minutes' genuine toothache would reveal the romantic sorrows for the nonsense they were.." (C.S Lewis in The Screwtape Letters)

Cold? Detached? Well, I will try to convinve you, dear reader, that you should choose heartache over toothache any day!

1. Toothache simply causes more suffering than heartache. The many components of heartache - self pity, loneliness, dissapointment, bitterness - do compound the pain, but still most of it can be avoided if one has the right attitude and is willing to get back on one's feet. Pure, straightforward, undiluted pain caused by toothache, however, is rather outside of our control, other than popping painkillers every five minutes... If still you hesitate, ask yourself this question: Would you rather have a bad toothache for a year or bad heartache for a year?

2. Time tends to heal a heartache but worsens a toothache.*if you don't go to the dentist, that is..* The sad memories of love would often become sweet nostalgia after some time, but I doubt that you have fond memories of the visit to pull your wisdom tooth...

3. Heartache inspires, toothache does not. Many a love song and beautiful poems are written by lovers scorned, touching ballads composed as tribute to love unrequited... Ever hear a song or a poem dedicated to cavities?

4.Heartache teaches us to be more mature, to strive to be a better person, to try not to hurt or be hurt by other people again, to guard our hearts, to let go, to accept than others' happiness may or may not involve us...When we look back, we have to admit that we are who we are now as much because of the joy we've had as the hurt we're experienced... What does toothache teach us? Brush your teeth properly and don't eat too many sweets!

5. Sometimes, our heartache really isn't our fault.. but toothache are almost always caused by our own lifestyle and habits.. we only have ourselves to blame! *ok, not that blaming others for our heartache is good either.*

6.Having a heartache doesn't much hinder your daily activity if you just grit your teeth, make up your mind, and go about doing your business. Having a toothache takes up your mind from doing anything else, pretty much.. *at least, this is personal experience..*

7.Of course, how could I forget the most logical reason of all : chocolate sweetens a heartache, but heightens a toothache..and a disease that prevents one from eating chocolate is the worst of them all, if you ask me!

The great Shakespeare himself seems to agree that toothache is one of the primary causes fo human suffering, as he wrote:

For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently,
However they have writ the style of gods
And made a pish at chance and sufferance.

(Much Ado About Nothing)

So yes, ladies and gentlemen, I cannot cease to think that having a heartache is much more preferable to a toothache!

TTM vs HTS

(diambil dari buku "Bukan Binatang Biasa" karangan Raditya Dika. Diperuntukkan buat temen-temen yang lagi bingung mau TTM-an apa HTS-an.. *eh bukannya sama yah?* )

Hallow, tabib yang jenius.Masalahnya aku ada banyak banget hal yang susah dimengerti. Salah satunya TTM dan HTS. Tabib setuju nggak sech dengan TTM dan HTSan? Kok orang-orang pada mau, ya dijadikan status nggak jelas?
ilya ChiE-QeeL, Jakarta

Halo temanku yang cihui,
Emang,jujur, Tabib harus akui, sekarang banyak sekali orang yang TTM dan HTS. Tabib paling gak suka sama TTM. Yang jelas artinya tuh Teman Tapi Morotin kan? Itu sangat berbahaya sekali. Terutama kalo kamu berteman dengan dukun sunat. Mereka hobi banget morotin celana (jelas, tuntutan profesi) .Tabib juga pernah TTM, temenan sama dukun sunat. Susah banget. Pusing tujuh keliling. Dikit-dikit morotin.

Tabis lebih senang HTS, Hubungan Tanpa Senter. Menurut Tabib, HTS itu sangatlah normal. Dua orang yang saling mencintai memang sama sekali tidak memerlukan senter untuk menjaga cinta mereka. Kalau ada senter ya bagus, gak gelap kalo mati lampu. Kalalu gak ada senter, so what? Temanku, mungkin kamu masih terlalu muda untuk tahu ini, tapi ketahuilah, cinta kamu akan abadi dengan atau tanpa senter. So, mulailah HTS dari sekarang.

Piss, love and kayang!

Bukit Timah Hike

Well, since I have to have my dose of trees and the outdoors to stay stress-free, went for a trek from Mac Ritchie to Bukit Timah reservoir yesterday with some friends. Very enjoyable! Nothing like taking a long, long,long walk through Nature in good company to lift one's spirits. Not to mention the Oishii pizza (Yup the "brand" of the pizza is "Oishii Pizza", and the vegetarian one is pretty good. According to my friend the teriyaki chicken pizza she had was very good.) and the sorbets from Island Creamery. My legs were a bit sore after walking a grand total of 15km (Not counting the elevations..up and down..and up and down we go!) , but we were well-rewarded at the end of the hike by the view of the beautiful quarry in Bukit Timah. A bit hard to believe that it's located in Singapore.. if not for the glaring telecommunications building they have so brazenly placed atop the beautiful rock wall.... Talk about architecture destroying Nature....

Life's Like That...

Hufh....submission in few days' time..and was down with fever last night... and the whole time I was lying in bed I was just so scared I couldn't finish all the work on time... Seriously, it's rather sickening to realise that even my desire to get well soon is so that I could do more work.. Haih... Am very grateful for a church friend who reminded me it's all for Him.. On one side, working for Him means working with all my heart and trying to give my best...on the other hand, it means not getting frustrated when things don't go my way, because God's still in control, hey..

Anyway, who am I kidding...should've seen that I've been abusing my body.. sleeping late, and fitfully at that since was pretty worried about my proposals being approved, eating irregularly, eating junk food and not enough fruits n veggies, no exercise, plus all the coming back late from school that makes me so tired... I thank God for creating my body resilient enough but also fragile enough to give me signs of when I should stop..

Read something by Elisabeth Elliot: "..It takes discipline to go to bed when you ought to and it takes discipline to get up." So true.. I wonder again about the attitude perpetuated in archi, that if you sleep late, stay over in school, generally sacrifice your health for architecture, then that's kinda "cool", and "everyone's doing it anyway", that it's something "unavoidable", that it's "the only way to get work done".. Hmm... There's something really wrong with a work ethic that says "Work is more important than health, than time for relationships, than time for yourself, than time for God."

Was talking to my lecturer yesterday, and he said his wife's kinda upset cuz even on Valentine's day he had to go to work so early,and the night before he got back so late, so no time for even a gift..hm...He's one of the most dedicated lecturers in archi, but then I guess the more one has dedication for something, the more one has to struggle to balance one's life...

In the end, I still worry that me being sick now means I cannot give my best for this project, since now is the crucial period... Hufh...Gotta learn to slow down, calm down, look up and trust Him..

Sudahkah anda kampungan hari ini?

Pernah dikatain kampungan, katro, ndeso, norak dan sejenisnya? Kalau iya, berbanggalah. Bahkan, berbahagialah. Gw pribadi hidup menurut motto "Kampungan itu indah." dan "Malu kampungan sesat di jalan." Gw percaya bahwa orang2 yg kampungan, nyadar dirinya kampungan, dan asik2 aja dgn fakta tersebut tuh hidupnya bisa enjoy dan lebih kaya pengalaman. Trus, gw juga percaya bahwa orang2 kampungan seperti tersebut di atas bisa lebih true to themselves. Tapi, jenis kampungan yang ini beda ya dengan org kampungan yg gak nyadar dirinya kampungan n malah mikir "wah gw tuh sophisticated banget man.."..wah kalo yang ini sih hampir pasti selalu bikin jengkel orang n bikin jelek nama para kampunganwan - kampunganwati sejati.

Contoh-contoh kelakuan kampungan gw.... banyak lah...hahahaha.. biasanya sih buat lucu2an aja, latihan menertawakan diri sendiri. Nah, sekarang gw mo nyeritain tingkah laku kampungan yg terbaru..yg melibatkan adek gw..hahaaha..

Jadi ceritanya, imlek kemaren gw balik ke jakarta 4 hari, n utk balik ke singapur nya lagi gw naek pesawat Lufthansa. Gw gak tau kl Lufthansa itu pesawat Jerman..kirain keluaran Afrika..jadi yah agak penasaran juga sih pas dikasitau.

Okeh, singkat cerita, saatnya boarding. Begitu gw masuk ke pesawat bareng adek gw paling kecil, gw jadi heran.. kok bulenya banyak banget..huhuhu... dan jujur aja gw shock, karena dalam mindset gw yg ndeso, semua bule di pikiran gw adalah kalo nggak tutor ya pastor..hahaha.. jadinya gw kaget kok ada bule jadi pramugari-pramugara. Eh tapi pramugaranya keren-keren loh.. *pokus, shiela, pokus!" Ok balik ke topik. Setelah nerima senyum manis pramugari bule yg menyambut gw masuk pesawat, gw pun jalan nyari tempat duduk. Tapi baru berapa langkah gw langsung tertegun...Masalahnya, sodara-sodara... pesawatnya ADA TANGGANYA!! ADA TANGGANYA GITU LOH!!


Gw tercengang penuh makna menghadapi kemajuan teknologi... *sebetulnya sih diem di tempat n bengong sebentar saking belum pernah liat tangga dalem pesawat* Well, ya udah gw mulai jepret2 pake kamera hp.. Interior pesawatnya juga bagus bgt kalo dibanding pesawat garuda *aku masih cinta Indonesia, though*, dan pintu daruratnya...astaga gede banget! Tapi berkat training gw sebagai arsitek dgn cepat gw mengerti bahwa..yg naik tuh pesawat kan kebanyakan bule yg badannya gede2, jadi wajarlah kl pintu daruratnya jg berukuran maksi.

Yah, jadi habis itu gw duduk manis di kursi penumpang n melakukan hobi gw laennya: mengamati sekeliling. At this time gw udah nyadar kl Lufthansa itu pesawat Jerman krn byk tulisan2 Jerman di dalem pesawatnya. Trus, krn interior pesawatnya bagus, jadinya gw niat banget mau foto2 di pesawat habis touchdown n penumpang2 pada turun.

Singkat cerita lagi, akhirnya touchdown jg n setelah nunggu orang2 banyak turun gw pun dengan leluasa menjelajahi pesawat itu sambil jepret2. Tak lupa minta ijin pada pramugara keren nan gagah perkasa (Maklum orang Jerman, gede2). Eh gak taunya, tuh pramugara kok juga jadi get excited gitu, trus gw n adek gw diajak ke bagian business class (Ini perlu naik tangga. Gile, gw naek tangga di dalem pesawat!)
Man, gw baru tau kenapa yg namanya "business class" harganya selangit..Laen bgt sama business class yg biasa gw liat di maskapai lokal yg cuma berarti kursinya gedean dikit n ada koran.. Anyway, pramugara jerman itu terus jadi excited nyuruh gw n adek gw duduk di kursi2 biz class itu utk foto bareng...so tunggu apa lagi..hehehehe
Abis tu, kita dibawa ke kokpit n dibiarin liat2..*Saat ini suasananya ada beberapa pramugari yg ikut excited sama si pramugara jerman n kyk cerita ttg pesawatnya n promosi ttg Lufthansa..hahaha..* keren sih, kursinya pake dilapis bulu2 gitu, kyknya sih biar kl terbang ke negara dingin para pengemudi pesawat tetap merasa nyaman. Adek gw ngotot minta difoto duduk di kursi kokpit, tp ngapain jg fotonya gw pajang di sini..hahahaha...
Terakhir, pas kita keluar dari kokpit gak taunya ada pilot sm co-pilot nya...n si pramugara dengan sigap minta kita foto bareng..

wahahaha....sumpe deh ini pengalaman naek pesawat paling lucu yg pernah gw alami..n semuanya krn gw berani kampungan moto2 tangga di pesawat. Tapi yah, gw pikir2 lagi, yg bikin gw berani kampungan itu ya tampang n gelagat gw yg masih mirip anak remaja, sesial2nya secondary school lah. Soalnya, anak kecil can get away with almost everything that adults cannot. Nggak seru jadi orang dewasa. Yah pokoknya, gw berniat utk sebisa mungkin jadi orang dewasa yg kampungan....

Karena kampungan itu keren!

Perihal Pacaran, Buat Anak dan Menjadi Dewasa

*Perhatian: sebelum berpikir yang enggak-enggak gara2 judul di atas, baca dulu blogpost di bawah.

*pengumuman: gw baru balik dari jakarta beserta kue2 kering segala rupa, kue lapis dan permen karet, hasil pasang tampang imut di depan om2 n tante2 gw. yang berminat hubungi nomer gw. harga nego.

ok, jadi ceritanya kenapa gw bikin blogpost dgn judul kurang senonoh tersebut di atas... gw baru balik dari jakarta buat ngerayain imlek, dan yang aneh bgt sih, selama berada di jakarta ortu gw berdua gak henti2nya memberitahu, meledek, menyindir gw dgn berbagai cara yg gw anggap pada intinya adalah semacam ultimatum nyuruh gw cepat2 pacaran.

mungkin wajar aja sih, soalnya semua om-tante-sepupu yg jarang ketemu sama gw nanyanya ya paling yg satu itu "eh jadi kamu udah punya pacar belum?" yang selalu gw tangkis dgn alasan "ah masih fokus ke studi" yg membuat ortu gw keliatan seperti punya anak seorang cewek abnormal jenis yang terlalu mementingkan studi-karier yang tidak bisa tidak akan menjadi perawan tua. tambahan lagi, dalam waktu dekat ini ada 2 orang sepupu gw yg akan menikah,n kemaren baru aja mama gw ikutan rombongan yang ngelamar, plus satu sepupu lagi berumur 23 taun baru aja ngelahirin seorang bayi perempuan sehat nan menggemaskan di Batam.

Well, efek dari segala hal itu adalah, selama 4 hari gw berada di jakarta, setiap hari ada beberapa kali gw denger kata2 seperti "aduh mama udah pengen nimang cucu nih..", "ching, makanya kamu cepat pacaran dong", "ah kapan ya kita mantu..", "udah ntar begitu lulus kawin aja" *kawin sama sapa coba...gak mungkinlah gw kawin ama gergaji mesin di workshop,man.." dan komentar2 bernada sumbang laennya.. Wah, gak bisa lebih obvious lagi deh hint-nya.. malahan ortu gw mulai pake "ngancem-ngancem" gitu, gw bakal diiklanin di koran dengan iming-iming sebuah rumah.. parah deh... ya, gw sih curiga bgt kalo ortu gw udah sekongkol gitu n mulai tanya2 ke kenalan2nya yang punya anak cowok, "Eh anakmu mau gak dikawinin aja sama anakku? Lumayan kok, kalo diamati baik-baik sih keliatan kalo dia itu cewek.. Aku kasih bonus rumah satu lho...." *Gile jadi anak developer ada bahayanya juga.*Pokoknya kalo sampe kejadian seperti itu sih, gw bakal mengeluarkan dan menumpuk semua buku2 gw, dan gw baru mau kawin kl cowok yg dijodohin sm gw itu volume bukunya menyamai punya gw. Minus buku2 bokep tentunya.

Anyway, gw sih udah cukup biasa lah diledek2 begitu, karena gw sendiri nerima krn dalam standar dunia jaman sekarang mungkin berumur 21 tahun dan belum pernah pacaran itu amat-sangat-abnormal-sekali-banget. Adek2 gw juga udah panik krn ortu gw blg kl gw belum kawin adek2 gw gak boleh ngelangkahin.yah tp gw sih gak setega itu lah, mungkin nantinya gw pura2 jadi biarawati aja. Tapi yah, yang mengagetkan gw adalah bhw komen2 bernada sumbang dari ortu gw makin menjadi2... yah..

Contohnya aja, kemaren gw sibuk potret2 ponakan2 gw yg masih kecil2 yg emang lucu2 banget, ada kali 100 lembar gw potret2 mereka. Eh pa2 gw bilang "Jangan potret2 anak orang lah, kalo mau bikin sendiri aja." Hah? Gw rada2 shock sih, soalnya tuh komen datengnya dari pa2 gw yg selalu gw anggap lebih konservatif dan enggak blak2an... Apakah ini berarti gw mendapat ijin melakukan hubungan seksual di luar nikah? Waduh, liberal bener ortu gw? Sayangnya, mengutip kata seorang temen gw, "No partner lah...."

Hm.. tapi...apa hubungannya semua hal di atas dan menjadi dewasa? Gw mikir sih, bahwa gw gak akan dianggap dewasa di mata ortu gw sebelum gw punya pasangan. *sengaja nggak pake istilah pacaran krn gw sendiri nggak percaya pada konsep pacaran. akan dibahas lain kali.* Atau apa itu perasaan gw aja? Well, misalnya aja, gw ngobrol sm sepupu gw yg udah 10 tahun gak ktemu, yg baru SMA but udah punya pacar, dan gw ngerasa aja bhw dia udah jadi begitu dewasa, nggak seperti anak kecil dlm ingatan gw lagi. Kalo definisi bhw menjadi dewasa itu adalah mampu memikul tanggung jawab lebih, ya berarti memang "pacaran" itu mendewasakan. Terus terang gw salut sama org2 yg bisa memasukkan orang lain dalam hidupnya, membuat keputusan bareng org lain, menyesuaikan hidup mereka dgn hidup org lain. krn gw sendiri blm pernah berkomitmen seperti itu dan gw nggak yakin gw sanggup berkomitmen seperti itu.

Selain itu, salah satu temen gw jg pernah blg, bedanya org yg dewasa dan yg enggak itu bukan pada umurnya, tapi pada pengalamannya. pas itu, gw inget ada tmn gw yg beberapa taun lebih tua, udah gitu punya jabatan di organisasi dan dianggap "sesepuh" pula, tapi lagi kelimpungan berat karena baru nembak cewek dan kyk di"gantung" gitu. gw blg ke tmn gw satu lagi, kok bisa ya org yg gw anggap dewasa itu jadi panik2 sendiri n emosional bgt gitu, trus tmn gw blg ya wajar kali kl tuh org dikit pengalamannya sm cewek jadi dia panik. Buku mungkin adalah guru paling lembut, tapi pengalaman seringkali adalah guru paling efektif. Jadi yah, logikaku, orang yang udah berpengalaman pacaran mungkin juga jadi lebih bisa menangani emosi dan hubungan dengan orang lain.

Tapi ada post-script nya sih. Sepertinya pacaran itu baru bisa bikin orang menjadi dewasa kalo emang dijalani dengan benar, dan kedua pihak yg terlibat juga memang mau bertumbuh jadi lebih dewasa. Ada juga pacaran yang kekanak2an yang leave both sides no better than before.

Hm...untuk seorang yang mengaku tidak percaya pada konsep pacaran, kenapa gw senang ngebahas topik ini yah..hahaha.. so disfunctional..

Anyway untuk sementara gw jauh lagi dari ortu gw dan kembali tenggelam di dunia studio. Realita sehari2 adalah bahwa once more waktu tenaga dan pikiran gw bakal tersita buat studi. Submission in one week's time!!!! So there.. nothing more, nothing less, and nothing less than architecture!

It's a small world after all..

Hm...why do I say that?
Just now came back from watching Nuansa 2008 (Great performance, btw, salute to all who worked so hard for the production!), and took the bus together with some friends. So, I started chatting to a girl that I know studies in NUS but whom I'm not very close to..and she was from the same primary school that I was! And possibly my classmate! (ungh...I can't remember her face..my bad...but she knows all the names that I'm mentioning, names of ex-classmates that I remember.) Remarkable, since I moved away from the town where I was born, Semarang, when I was just 9 years old, and afterwards lost contact with all my Semarang friends. Was trying around to find them through social utility websites...and voila! There's one just studying at NUS! Happy, happy, nostalgia-ing about all my primary school and kindergarten experiences..hahaha.. I was quite a trouble-maker, btw... cuz then I wasn't the sweet, innocent bookworm I am now..haha.. I remember I got punished for "fighting" with boys..and once in 3rd grade me and another girl "ambushed" and fought a 6th-grader..and defeated him too! As in..we kinda like just randomnly hammered him till he fell to the floor... Man...I wonder how my friend and that guy is doing now..hahahaha...

Another reason that I think the world got comfortably smaller... Met an exchange student in archi that's also a vegetarian becuz of "i don't want animals to be tortured" reason. Dang! That's the first person I meet who's my age, vegetarian but not related to Buddhism..hahahahaha.. Pretty cool...to get to talk to someone that I'm vegetarian cuz I pity animals and get a respond: "Me too!" Instead of weird silence or suppressed smile..hahaha.. Hm...I like all my friends wholeheartedly, vegetarian or not, but it's just great to be able to connect with someone, with a side of me that not many people understand.

Hm... thinking about my personality... (ok not related to the blogpost...forgive me on this digression...).. I think it's shaped a lot by the fact that I moved houses quite often from an early age. I've moved house more than 20 times though I've only moved city 3 times - grew up in Semarang till I'm 9yrs old, moved to Pekanbaru till I'm 13, and came to Singapore till now. (btw if anyone moved house as much as me do contact me, I want to chat to somebody about it ;p ) So... I'm really used to adjusting to new environments and leaving familiar ones.. which resulted in me being easily getting to know people and being friendly, but also easily 'forgetting' people especially if I don't see them a lot anymore. (That is, except for very few people who left permanent imprints on my life.) Being blatantly narcissistic, I'd say I am a fascinating mix (fascinating for myself, of course) between a friendly, over-confident, funny (at least, trying to be...) person and a fiercely private person that needs a lot of time for solitude... I used to struggle with the question, which one is the real me, and am I presenting a fake front to the wolrd, but well... I've since accepted that I'm both..the two sides of me are real ,that my personality just changes according to circumstances and the people I'm with, and that there's nothing really bizarre or shameful about that. (or is there?)

In any case... had a "revelation" today about why my favorite place is the library.. It's just an amazing place, really, in the sense that it's a public place but it's also a very private space as well. You don't go to the library to interact, to see others, to "hang out" (well I do hang out in the library..but let's skip that..).. you just open your book, and there you go, you have your own world and your own space and no one will disturb you. It's funny how I like to strike up random conversations with people in the lift, bus stop, malls, but never, never in the library eventhough it's the place I visit most often. It has to do with maintaining the impression of a "private space" in the midst of a crowd. Just the way I like it.