Step-by-step instruction on how to do a model, wtih live commentary from inside the author's mind..
"...uhhh.....it's time to make the model....ok let's prepare the materials...."
*take out cardboard, glue, knife, ruler etc, then stare at drawings for a long time...*
"....Hi...it's you again....haih.....alright let's try to make it as fast and painless as possible....hmm before that I need to modify the floor plan...the stairs are too steep...hmm never mind I'm not the one going up there..and this part under the glass dome will be bloody hot..oh well there's air conditioning...and this part here that's 10 m high glass wall....let's leave that to the civil engineer...ok now we can start..."
*take scissors and start cutting out floorplan..*
"ufh i need to make little columns from bristle board so the model will be detailed...how big should they be..."
*start daydreaming....*
"Ouch!"
*accidentally poked finger with scissor blade.. see tiny droplet of blood, get fascinated....*
"Oh man...maybe if I poke my neck with the scissors I don't have to do submission...all that blood will spurt over the white bristle board....how beautiful..and I don't have to live to admit I've designed this ugly building....ooohh..... oh shoot! what am I thinking! Focus dude, focus!"
*Finish cutting the floorplan..then take glue spray to stick floor plans to cardboard*
"Thank goodness for spray mount...oh wait, what's this written here..? Highly flammable? Oh..."
*Imagining putting all the cardboard pieces around the stove, then swtich the fire on, the spray the glue on it....KABOOM! Pretty little mushroom cloud perhaps, and no more submission.....muahahahahha.....*
"FOCUS DUDE! alright, alright...next..."
*cut out the cardboards according to the shape of the plans*
"Ha...am glad this x-acto knife is so sharp, if not the cut will not be so deep and clean....hm...deep and clean....."
*...looks at wrist...looks at x-acto knife...looks at wrist again... wonder if the cut will be deep and clean enough to minimise the pain...*
"AS I SAID, FOCUS!!! DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT WANT TO FINISH THE MODEL??!! ok,ok...next..."
*cut out cardboard strips to use as wall; take white glue to glue the wall to the floor plan; cannot help but smell the white glue and savor the sickeningly sweet smell.....*
"Hmmmm....mmmm.....hm...I wonder if glue-sniffing will cause enough brain damage so I can claim
mental illness ...oh ya, f****** said for the most-impact we must use liquid acrylic glue, pour into plastic bag, then put our nose inside the bag carefully so no vapor can escape...then breathe in...breathe out.....hmm do I still have acrylic glue....."
"AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT TO THIS PRECIOUS LITTLE BRAIN OF YOURS WHO IS YOUR PRIMARY SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT IN LIFE??!!! DO YOU NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE??!! I'M MAD! MAD! HUMPH!!"
"Ooops....ok,ok, my precious little brain, I'm really really sorry.....won't even think of that ever again...pinky promise...?"
*realised that instead of gluing the walls I've been hallucinating....*
"Oh well, starting to look quite good actually....Hmm.... ok let's just continue tomorrow..."
*Go into room, switch on computer and write on blog, leaving poor unfinished model on the table, alone....without so much as a study model to keep it company...oh poor little model....hiks..hiks..sniff...hiks..hiks.....*
_____
3 weeks from now on, after submission is done and my mind is clear, I'd probably look back and wonder how I could've written such rubbish..
But for now, it feels good to channel all my murderous intent into writing.......
Aaaaaahhhhhhh. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sahabat Kecil - Ipank
Baru saja berakhir
Hujan di sore ini
Menyisakan keajaiban
Kilauan indahnya pelangi
Tak pernah terlewatkan
Dan tetap mengaguminya
Kesempatan seperti ini
Tak akan bisa dibeli
Bersamamu kuhabiskan waktu
Senang bisa mengenal dirimu
Rasanya semuanya begitu sempurna
Sayang untuk mengakhirinya
Melawan keterbatasan
Walau sedikit kemungkinan
Takkan menyetrah untuk hadapi
Hingga sedih tak mau datang lagi
Bersamamu kuhabiskan waktu
Senang bisa mengenal dirimu
Rasanya semuanya begitu sempurna
Sayang untuk mengakhirinya
Janganlah berganti
Janganlah berganti
Janganlah berganti
Tetaplah seperti ini
Janganlah berganti
Janganlah berganti
Tetaplah seperti ini
___
Buat elu
Yang walaupun jauh, selalu dekat
Senangnya gw karena menjadi
Satu dari dua sahabat
Makanya itu, man
Semangat! ;p
Saturday, March 28, 2009
An architect, an artist, and a civil engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The civil engineer said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The architect said, “I like both.”
“Both?” asked the engineer and artist in unison.
The architect replied, “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume that you are spending time with the other woman, so you can go to the office and get some work done.”
Friday, March 27, 2009
D: its funny, from the way u talk about it, i guess ive always underestimated landscape architecture
me: actually, i think it has to do with the teaching environment in architecture
we pretty much look down on everything except architecture..
or is it just what i think? hahaha
D: probably just our ignorance...seeing it as just grass and shrubs!
ull have 2 tell me what its like
anyway..im gonna go to sleep. ive got tutorial in the morning
me: alrite dude
sweet dreams of architecture! ;p
D: no no..sleep is the time to escape it!
____
Hm...only this morning I was writing about my crisis in architecture, and then I went to school though I didn't feel like doing models, then started doing just the terrain for the model, and was actually enjoying it... Arrghh....
Could it be I'm so reluctant to think about design because I just don't have the energy to resolve all the problems?
Haih.... I call Architecture my mistress, and with good reason too... Right now, when I feel that she's finally losing her grip on me, there she comes, and she whispered: "Oh, you know you'll always want me, you'll always love me, but hey babe, maybe you're not good enough to satisfy me....."
Shoot....the situation is dire indeed.....
____
Hm...only this morning I was writing about my crisis in architecture, and then I went to school though I didn't feel like doing models, then started doing just the terrain for the model, and was actually enjoying it... Arrghh....
Could it be I'm so reluctant to think about design because I just don't have the energy to resolve all the problems?
Haih.... I call Architecture my mistress, and with good reason too... Right now, when I feel that she's finally losing her grip on me, there she comes, and she whispered: "Oh, you know you'll always want me, you'll always love me, but hey babe, maybe you're not good enough to satisfy me....."
Shoot....the situation is dire indeed.....
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Mid- (student) life Crisis?
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."
- Henry Kissinger
People make a fuss about going through a mid-life crisis, and I'm so tempted to say now that I've got a mid-architectural-life crisis... After all, it's my third year, of a 5 year education process, so yeah.. it's about time...
So...what exactly happened? For one, it seems that rather than me taking control of my design, clearly knowing my intentions, taking it by the horns and directing where it should go, I think my design has kinda been dragging me around, evolving in the hands of my tutor but not really in mine, while I attempt to milk it for what it's worth through a lot of post-rationalization.. And, though I'm usually good with words and ideas, I can't even post-rationalize properly, which indicates that something is indeed rather wrong....
Hm.....if I have to describe this semester, I would say it's one of prolonged mediocrity.... And what a torturing state mediocrity is! I'm neither burning with passion, nor crippled with fatigue; neither fully abandoning schoolwork to at least focus on my other passions, nor totally putting my heart into doing what needs to be done in architecture.... When I get a sense of having done at least some things, but nothing remarkable....
There were times during crit and consultation that I struggled to say what my intentions are, which is just a nicer way of saying I'm not sure I even have intentions.. And when someone else has to tell you what you want...Let's just say it can be pretty embarrassing...and no, it has never happened to me before, at least not architecturally... It makes me realise though that when you don't know what you want for yourself, other people will gladly take over and define it for you...which then makes you feel like you're just stumbling along and things happen to you, instead of you wanting things to happen and making them happen...
I should say that, hey, my design is actually kinda ok, I'm just terribly not excited about it... And well, the thing about design is..you can have an unbearably ugly design, a sore in public eyes, but if you firmly believe in it then at least it's worth something... Case in point:
Alright, alright, I shouldn't still be making jabs at post-mo architecture.. but yeah, the opposite of having full faith in ugly design is that when you don't believe in your own handiwork, no one else will.
Another thing is...ufh...dare I say it... plain laziness.... Hardwork being the highest virtue in studying architecture, to admit that you are lazy is plain blasphemy. ("What??!! The rest of them don't even have time to think about being lazy!!") Call it lack of drive, lack of motivation, lack of momentum... the end result is still the same, I'm doing things because I have to, not because I want to, and since I love my bubbly enthusiasm, this sucks big time.. Why do I still "insist", in a way, to be lazy? ...In a twisted way, laziness in archi means having 7 to 8 hours of sleep,rarely 5 or 6, and then having in total about 2 days per week to relax. Which for many people is normalcy but not here in Singapore, and especially not in architecture. Another definiton of laziness that I think is very true for me right now: just meeting the bare minimum..and well, I know this is an attitude problem, but I think these days I kind of accept the fact that I have an attitude problem..Typical conversation going on in my mind:
"But you can still finish another drawing if you want to!"
"Well yeah but I want to sleep! Anyway the tutor only asks for 2 drawings!"
"Hah! But it's crit tomorrow! Tell me which archi student sleeps 8 hours before crit!!!"
"Look I just want to be normal alright, I'd rather sleep than be so freaked out about work."
"Wrong attitude! You're an archi student you know! You're just being lazy! As it has been so far this semester!"
"I'm just trying to be normal!"
"No you're lazy!"
"Normal"
"Lazy!"
. . . . you get the gist. . . .
But if it's a problem for me, why then, am I not doing anything to address the problem? Psycho myself to believe that mine is a cool project and do what I can to represent it as so? Here is the tricky part. There are two approaches to solving problems, you either increase your efforts to crack it, or reduce your expectations. . And I'm surprised at how easy it is for me to reduce my expectations.. *ok maybe I will cry my heart out after we receive my results slip this semester, but at least this is what I feel for now.* I've always been a firm believer of challenging myself, seeing how far I can go, testing my mental limits,which, thanks to my environment here, translates into being a nerd-muggger-workaholic but somehow (hm this "somehow" part needs to be analysed later), I understand now the principle of: you want less? Then you can work less. Oh, the sweet bloody truth of Life!
Well all that's done is done, all that's said is said. I'm pretty grateful that at least my "crisis" only starts bugging me now when semester's ending soon (14 April...oh do come fast!) and not way in the beginning. And it's been a weird, unexpectedly pathetic semester, but it's a new experience for me and I'm learning how to handle it too. Shall close with this quote that I think (I hope..) is really true:
"The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow."
-H.G Wells
- Henry Kissinger
People make a fuss about going through a mid-life crisis, and I'm so tempted to say now that I've got a mid-architectural-life crisis... After all, it's my third year, of a 5 year education process, so yeah.. it's about time...
So...what exactly happened? For one, it seems that rather than me taking control of my design, clearly knowing my intentions, taking it by the horns and directing where it should go, I think my design has kinda been dragging me around, evolving in the hands of my tutor but not really in mine, while I attempt to milk it for what it's worth through a lot of post-rationalization.. And, though I'm usually good with words and ideas, I can't even post-rationalize properly, which indicates that something is indeed rather wrong....
Hm.....if I have to describe this semester, I would say it's one of prolonged mediocrity.... And what a torturing state mediocrity is! I'm neither burning with passion, nor crippled with fatigue; neither fully abandoning schoolwork to at least focus on my other passions, nor totally putting my heart into doing what needs to be done in architecture.... When I get a sense of having done at least some things, but nothing remarkable....
There were times during crit and consultation that I struggled to say what my intentions are, which is just a nicer way of saying I'm not sure I even have intentions.. And when someone else has to tell you what you want...Let's just say it can be pretty embarrassing...and no, it has never happened to me before, at least not architecturally... It makes me realise though that when you don't know what you want for yourself, other people will gladly take over and define it for you...which then makes you feel like you're just stumbling along and things happen to you, instead of you wanting things to happen and making them happen...
I should say that, hey, my design is actually kinda ok, I'm just terribly not excited about it... And well, the thing about design is..you can have an unbearably ugly design, a sore in public eyes, but if you firmly believe in it then at least it's worth something... Case in point:
Alright, alright, I shouldn't still be making jabs at post-mo architecture.. but yeah, the opposite of having full faith in ugly design is that when you don't believe in your own handiwork, no one else will.Another thing is...ufh...dare I say it... plain laziness.... Hardwork being the highest virtue in studying architecture, to admit that you are lazy is plain blasphemy. ("What??!! The rest of them don't even have time to think about being lazy!!") Call it lack of drive, lack of motivation, lack of momentum... the end result is still the same, I'm doing things because I have to, not because I want to, and since I love my bubbly enthusiasm, this sucks big time.. Why do I still "insist", in a way, to be lazy? ...In a twisted way, laziness in archi means having 7 to 8 hours of sleep,rarely 5 or 6, and then having in total about 2 days per week to relax. Which for many people is normalcy but not here in Singapore, and especially not in architecture. Another definiton of laziness that I think is very true for me right now: just meeting the bare minimum..and well, I know this is an attitude problem, but I think these days I kind of accept the fact that I have an attitude problem..Typical conversation going on in my mind:
"But you can still finish another drawing if you want to!"
"Well yeah but I want to sleep! Anyway the tutor only asks for 2 drawings!"
"Hah! But it's crit tomorrow! Tell me which archi student sleeps 8 hours before crit!!!"
"Look I just want to be normal alright, I'd rather sleep than be so freaked out about work."
"Wrong attitude! You're an archi student you know! You're just being lazy! As it has been so far this semester!"
"I'm just trying to be normal!"
"No you're lazy!"
"Normal"
"Lazy!"
. . . . you get the gist. . . .
But if it's a problem for me, why then, am I not doing anything to address the problem? Psycho myself to believe that mine is a cool project and do what I can to represent it as so? Here is the tricky part. There are two approaches to solving problems, you either increase your efforts to crack it, or reduce your expectations. . And I'm surprised at how easy it is for me to reduce my expectations.. *ok maybe I will cry my heart out after we receive my results slip this semester, but at least this is what I feel for now.* I've always been a firm believer of challenging myself, seeing how far I can go, testing my mental limits,which, thanks to my environment here, translates into being a nerd-muggger-workaholic but somehow (hm this "somehow" part needs to be analysed later), I understand now the principle of: you want less? Then you can work less. Oh, the sweet bloody truth of Life!
Well all that's done is done, all that's said is said. I'm pretty grateful that at least my "crisis" only starts bugging me now when semester's ending soon (14 April...oh do come fast!) and not way in the beginning. And it's been a weird, unexpectedly pathetic semester, but it's a new experience for me and I'm learning how to handle it too. Shall close with this quote that I think (I hope..) is really true:
"The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow."
-H.G Wells
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
*talking about the can of coffee R bought that has some whitish residue inside*\
Me: "I think that's vegetable fat...cuz it will solidify in really cold temperature...so the coffee isn't actually bad, just looks weird.."
M: "Oh so vegetables have fat....? Ooo...hey, it can be a question... what vegetable is really fat?"
Me: "uhm..peanuts? they contain lots of fat.."
M: "Nope.... PLUMPkin!"
Me: " . . . . . . "
(It's always an unspeakable feeling when u feel u've finally met ur match, ur equal, ur fellow lame-joker......)
_____
A : "Loh gw kan emang cowok laba2, jaring2 gw udah ketebar dimana2, cuma belum ada yg kejaring aja..."
Me: "Yee! Itu mah bukan laba2 namanya! palingan in the end lu jadinya kyk cowok babi hutan, sradak sruduk sana sini tapi gak ada yg ketabrak..."
*some light conversation*
A : "eh ngomong2 gw sama B...." *B = nama cowo*
Me : "Gimana gimana ada kemajuan apa hehehe......"
A: "Ah gak ada kemajuan banyak pihak ketiga huhuhu...."
Me: "Wahlau....trus lu sama si ******* gimana?" *yg ini, cewek...*
A: "Ah itu enggak lah, ud gw blg dari dulu enggak..."
Me: "Ah payah, ya uda lah lu sama si C aja" *C = lagi2 nama cowok*
I : "Hahahaha....." *terdiam trus mikir bentar*
I: " Loh ngomong2 yah.....gw bukannya gak menjaring siapa2 yah..banyak kejaring tapi kok cowok2 semua yah??!!"
Me: ". . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA....... ya udahlah terima aja! hahaha"
I :*mulai panik* "Wah wah gimana dong ini.. jangan2 ini....."
Me: "...bakat terpendam elu! hahaha...."
(makanya kalo pasang target yg jelas dong ;p )
____
Me: "I think that's vegetable fat...cuz it will solidify in really cold temperature...so the coffee isn't actually bad, just looks weird.."
M: "Oh so vegetables have fat....? Ooo...hey, it can be a question... what vegetable is really fat?"
Me: "uhm..peanuts? they contain lots of fat.."
M: "Nope.... PLUMPkin!"
Me: " . . . . . . "
(It's always an unspeakable feeling when u feel u've finally met ur match, ur equal, ur fellow lame-joker......)
_____
A : "Loh gw kan emang cowok laba2, jaring2 gw udah ketebar dimana2, cuma belum ada yg kejaring aja..."
Me: "Yee! Itu mah bukan laba2 namanya! palingan in the end lu jadinya kyk cowok babi hutan, sradak sruduk sana sini tapi gak ada yg ketabrak..."
*some light conversation*
A : "eh ngomong2 gw sama B...." *B = nama cowo*
Me : "Gimana gimana ada kemajuan apa hehehe......"
A: "Ah gak ada kemajuan banyak pihak ketiga huhuhu...."
Me: "Wahlau....trus lu sama si ******* gimana?" *yg ini, cewek...*
A: "Ah itu enggak lah, ud gw blg dari dulu enggak..."
Me: "Ah payah, ya uda lah lu sama si C aja" *C = lagi2 nama cowok*
I : "Hahahaha....." *terdiam trus mikir bentar*
I: " Loh ngomong2 yah.....gw bukannya gak menjaring siapa2 yah..banyak kejaring tapi kok cowok2 semua yah??!!"
Me: ". . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA....... ya udahlah terima aja! hahaha"
I :*mulai panik* "Wah wah gimana dong ini.. jangan2 ini....."
Me: "...bakat terpendam elu! hahaha...."
(makanya kalo pasang target yg jelas dong ;p )
____
Monday, March 16, 2009
H: "I wonder why French is said to be the most romantic language in the world...."
Miss C: "Hm..because they mumble everything...? Like all they say is unclear.."
Me: "Don't think so! Hey I really like the language!"
Miss C: "Hahaha ok..maybe because they speak lyrically, like singing.. "
H: "And the pronounciation is so difficult!"
Miss C: "Oh actually a friend of mine once told me, 'French pronounciation is easy, you just have to speak like it's really bad english..."
Me: "Wooooo.....I can imagine the face of a French person who hears that......"
____
Had studio outing today! Yay! At long last..haha...though actually since it's only interim critique we can't really celebrate yet... newae, went to Pastamania and Pet Safari... why Pet Safari..? Because we were talking about dogs a lot during lunch, turns out people in my studio are dog lovers... so...after lunch we decided to go and see pets...which resulted in these conversations:
Me: *browsing rows of dog accessories* Wah, there's dog perfume!
HY: "Hahaha yea of course.."
Me: "and it's called SEDUCTION! For goodness sake! check this out, check this out!" *happily showing the bottle to Ry and G.....F.Y.I it really looked like human perfume with glass bottle and all.."
Me: "Wah I wonder why it's called Seduction...I mean, dogs need to seduce meh?"
G: "Got lady dogs mah....."
Me: ". . . . . . ."
Me: "What's that?" *looking at KK holding something that looks like a triangle piece of leather,but is reddish and glistening....then I took it from her hand*
KK: "Oh it's chewy pig ears....."
Me: "WHAT????"
KK: "Ya it's for dogs to chew on.... Humans can eat it too actually, it's quite nice..."
Me: "??!!!!" *quickly put back the triangle thing that now looks suspiciously like dried pig's ear....*
*After looking at really cute hamsters....*
Me: Hey hey I wonder, if we have a pet hamster then we build 1:50 scale model, then we can release the hamster in there to explore the spaces huehehehehe...."
Ry: "OHH! Ya and we can attach small cameras to the head so can produce video on the spatial experience..wah.."
*If only I don't like hamsters very much, I think I'd have explored this idea seriously huhuhu...*
Miss C: "Hm..because they mumble everything...? Like all they say is unclear.."
Me: "Don't think so! Hey I really like the language!"
Miss C: "Hahaha ok..maybe because they speak lyrically, like singing.. "
H: "And the pronounciation is so difficult!"
Miss C: "Oh actually a friend of mine once told me, 'French pronounciation is easy, you just have to speak like it's really bad english..."
Me: "Wooooo.....I can imagine the face of a French person who hears that......"
____
Had studio outing today! Yay! At long last..haha...though actually since it's only interim critique we can't really celebrate yet... newae, went to Pastamania and Pet Safari... why Pet Safari..? Because we were talking about dogs a lot during lunch, turns out people in my studio are dog lovers... so...after lunch we decided to go and see pets...which resulted in these conversations:
Me: *browsing rows of dog accessories* Wah, there's dog perfume!
HY: "Hahaha yea of course.."
Me: "and it's called SEDUCTION! For goodness sake! check this out, check this out!" *happily showing the bottle to Ry and G.....F.Y.I it really looked like human perfume with glass bottle and all.."
Me: "Wah I wonder why it's called Seduction...I mean, dogs need to seduce meh?"
G: "Got lady dogs mah....."
Me: ". . . . . . ."
Me: "What's that?" *looking at KK holding something that looks like a triangle piece of leather,but is reddish and glistening....then I took it from her hand*
KK: "Oh it's chewy pig ears....."
Me: "WHAT????"
KK: "Ya it's for dogs to chew on.... Humans can eat it too actually, it's quite nice..."
Me: "??!!!!" *quickly put back the triangle thing that now looks suspiciously like dried pig's ear....*
*After looking at really cute hamsters....*
Me: Hey hey I wonder, if we have a pet hamster then we build 1:50 scale model, then we can release the hamster in there to explore the spaces huehehehehe...."
Ry: "OHH! Ya and we can attach small cameras to the head so can produce video on the spatial experience..wah.."
*If only I don't like hamsters very much, I think I'd have explored this idea seriously huhuhu...*
Friday, March 13, 2009
H: "Oh gw hari ini mulai kerja! It was really nice.. bla bla bla etc etc..." (a bit long to be put here..)
Me: "Hahaha I'm glad for u....but as usual, I wish I can ask u to treat me... that's the worst part of LDF *Long Distance Friendship* actually.... can't have treats..haih..
H: "Well, but see, even if u're not here, I'm happy for ur thought, that u'r glad for me.. so the inverse should be true, I can't treat u, but u should be happy that I'm thinking of treating u.."
Me: "Yeeeeee! No way!"
___
Found this really good version of the Italian song "Caruso" that I like... for now, long live Lara Fabian!!
__
It is not because you are
I love you because I do
C'est pas parc' que you are me
Que I am you...
- Renaud , "It is not because you are"
A kinda lame, kinda funny song recommended by a friend..the song consist of a melange of French-English words with lotsa French accent hahahaha.... but the lyrics remind me of something I read long ago, that we are actually so much in love with ourselves that we go around finding people who think and feel and live like us... but since I'm whacked from CAD-ing the whole day...will write next time...
Me: "Hahaha I'm glad for u....but as usual, I wish I can ask u to treat me... that's the worst part of LDF *Long Distance Friendship* actually.... can't have treats..haih..
H: "Well, but see, even if u're not here, I'm happy for ur thought, that u'r glad for me.. so the inverse should be true, I can't treat u, but u should be happy that I'm thinking of treating u.."
Me: "Yeeeeee! No way!"
___
Found this really good version of the Italian song "Caruso" that I like... for now, long live Lara Fabian!!
__
It is not because you are
I love you because I do
C'est pas parc' que you are me
Que I am you...
- Renaud , "It is not because you are"
A kinda lame, kinda funny song recommended by a friend..the song consist of a melange of French-English words with lotsa French accent hahahaha.... but the lyrics remind me of something I read long ago, that we are actually so much in love with ourselves that we go around finding people who think and feel and live like us... but since I'm whacked from CAD-ing the whole day...will write next time...
Monday, March 9, 2009
The City of Dreaming Books
Well, this is supposed to be a busy time in design, but thankfully my design is kinda coming nicely along, allowing me to steal some time to read storybooks.... One that I've just finished reading is "The City of Dreaming Books" by Walter Moers, and I love it if simply because the whole book is concerned with books and reading..hahaha... Imagine a place where people sell drugs to intensify a reading experience.. ("Five drops and you will hallucinate whole novels!"), where there are creatures who feed on reading...(books have different nutritional values, and tastes differ from classics to cheap novels... but above all: you can get fat from reading too much!!! HORRORS! ), where Bookhunters kill and destroy each other in the hunt for rare books, where there are Animatomes (books that are alive, courtesy of Bookemists, which are kinda like Alchemists in our world), and Toxicotomes (poisonous books)...a world where the capital city is called Bookholm and the wealthy folk orders special perfume to impregnate their collection, so they'll always know which books are theirs.. The measure of a brilliant story for me: if it succeeds in conveying another world so well I feel like I experience that world, and when I'm not reading the book, not experiencing it anymore, I wish with my whole heart that the fictional world could really exist....
Anyways, it's now one of my favorite all-time fiction hehehe.... Below are quotes taken from the story:
"This book tells of a place where reading is still a genuine adventure, and by adventure I mean the old-fashioned definition of the word that appears in the Zamonian Dictionary: "A daring enterprise undertaken in a spirit of curiosity or temerity, it is potentially life-threatening, harbours unforeseeable dangers and sometimes proves fatal." Yes, I speak of a place where reading can drive people insane....."
"Reading is an intelligent way of not having to think. Writing..a desperate attempt to extract some dignity from solitude."
"Curiosity is the most powerful incentive in the world. Why? Because it's capable of overcoming the two most powerful dis-incentives in the world: common sense and fear. Curiosity accounts for why children hold their hands over candle flames, why soldiers go to war or scientists venture into the Cogitating Quicksand of Nairland. Curiosity is the reason why all the heroes of Zamonian horror stories 'go inside' sooner or later."
Anyways, it's now one of my favorite all-time fiction hehehe.... Below are quotes taken from the story:
"This book tells of a place where reading is still a genuine adventure, and by adventure I mean the old-fashioned definition of the word that appears in the Zamonian Dictionary: "A daring enterprise undertaken in a spirit of curiosity or temerity, it is potentially life-threatening, harbours unforeseeable dangers and sometimes proves fatal." Yes, I speak of a place where reading can drive people insane....."
"Reading is an intelligent way of not having to think. Writing..a desperate attempt to extract some dignity from solitude."
"Curiosity is the most powerful incentive in the world. Why? Because it's capable of overcoming the two most powerful dis-incentives in the world: common sense and fear. Curiosity accounts for why children hold their hands over candle flames, why soldiers go to war or scientists venture into the Cogitating Quicksand of Nairland. Curiosity is the reason why all the heroes of Zamonian horror stories 'go inside' sooner or later."
Saturday, March 7, 2009
On Religion, Truth and God
"Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not, 'So there's no God after all,' but 'So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer."
-A Grief Observed, C.S Lewis
I don't really know how to write, or to even start writing...but I feel I must, or the thoughts in my head would seem bigger, more complex, more formidable than they actually are.
These past three days I've been talking to several people -old friends, acquaintances, even a stranger - about beliefs,doubts and what to do with them. . . .and it has brought me new focus, and new determination to get to the bottom of this thing people call "religion".
Somehow nowadays not many people, even believers themselves, want to talk about "religion". Most just call it "spirituality". For me, well, nothing wrong with admitting I have a religion, Christianity. But what would this religion mean to me? It would mean, above all, the pursuit of Truth. People can say, "Religion comforts me when I am sad", or "It gives me strength" or "It makes me a better person", but if one does not believe every aspect of religion is Truth, and hence worth believing, then what use is having comfort, or strength? I could very easily tell a lot of white lies that make someone more confident, feel better about themselves, but that doesn't change the fact that what I say are just lies. Something could be really good, but still not TRUE. On the contrary, if right now the sky becomes dark with flashes of lightning, and people started getting killed everywhere by lightning strikes and everywhere stars gather in the sky and form the words "Earthlings behold, God is here", we would have to believe that there is a God even if it's a God who kills with lightning strikes. . Truth doesn't become any less true just because it is brutal or bad.
I used to believe that Christianity is true based on personal experience. . ."I used to be selfish but now I'm not. . ", "I'm much more forgiving, much less inclined to hate. . " , "God was there in so many difficult situations.. " etc etc etc . .For me it was proof enough that there is a good, personal God. But those beliefs are no longer enough. I met a hardcore atheist who dealt blow after blow to the flimsy thing I called my faith. . . and I'm glad he did, for it revealed the beliefs I held dear to be house of cards that it was. For me to wholly embrace Christianity and God, my intellect and all its elements - logic, common sense, doubts - has to accept it, for now I would forever think of blind faith as utter stupidity.
And so, these days, "to believe" for me means the daily struggle with questions, looking for answers, while trying to still have principles, differentiating what I want to think and what should be Truth. It means thinking how much of what I know of the Bible is taken from people's interpretations, swallowed whole. It means admitting that I have not learned enough, I've forgotten a lot, and to throw myself into learning again about my own beliefs, my own God.
I still cannot embrace Christianity 100%. I still don't know where to stop questioning and start believing. I still wonder if there ever would be an ideal composition of faith and intellect in beliefs. But if I cannot right now believe I know Truth, at least I believe I am walking in the direction of Truth, and right now it is sufficient.
When would I arrive at Truth? and what would it be? I don't know. What I can say is that I wish with all my being that Truth would be that there is a good God, and that I've only taken the tortuous round-about way in discovering that. In a twisted way of thinking, I think atheists are the very people who instinctively sense the character of God. . that if there is a God, He has to be good. But atheists find that the pain, suffering, perceived injustice and plain human stupidity in the world to be proof against a good God. So, rather than choosing to believe in a bad God, they choose to believe that there is no God at all.
-A Grief Observed, C.S Lewis
I don't really know how to write, or to even start writing...but I feel I must, or the thoughts in my head would seem bigger, more complex, more formidable than they actually are.
These past three days I've been talking to several people -old friends, acquaintances, even a stranger - about beliefs,doubts and what to do with them. . . .and it has brought me new focus, and new determination to get to the bottom of this thing people call "religion".
Somehow nowadays not many people, even believers themselves, want to talk about "religion". Most just call it "spirituality". For me, well, nothing wrong with admitting I have a religion, Christianity. But what would this religion mean to me? It would mean, above all, the pursuit of Truth. People can say, "Religion comforts me when I am sad", or "It gives me strength" or "It makes me a better person", but if one does not believe every aspect of religion is Truth, and hence worth believing, then what use is having comfort, or strength? I could very easily tell a lot of white lies that make someone more confident, feel better about themselves, but that doesn't change the fact that what I say are just lies. Something could be really good, but still not TRUE. On the contrary, if right now the sky becomes dark with flashes of lightning, and people started getting killed everywhere by lightning strikes and everywhere stars gather in the sky and form the words "Earthlings behold, God is here", we would have to believe that there is a God even if it's a God who kills with lightning strikes. . Truth doesn't become any less true just because it is brutal or bad.
I used to believe that Christianity is true based on personal experience. . ."I used to be selfish but now I'm not. . ", "I'm much more forgiving, much less inclined to hate. . " , "God was there in so many difficult situations.. " etc etc etc . .For me it was proof enough that there is a good, personal God. But those beliefs are no longer enough. I met a hardcore atheist who dealt blow after blow to the flimsy thing I called my faith. . . and I'm glad he did, for it revealed the beliefs I held dear to be house of cards that it was. For me to wholly embrace Christianity and God, my intellect and all its elements - logic, common sense, doubts - has to accept it, for now I would forever think of blind faith as utter stupidity.
And so, these days, "to believe" for me means the daily struggle with questions, looking for answers, while trying to still have principles, differentiating what I want to think and what should be Truth. It means thinking how much of what I know of the Bible is taken from people's interpretations, swallowed whole. It means admitting that I have not learned enough, I've forgotten a lot, and to throw myself into learning again about my own beliefs, my own God.
I still cannot embrace Christianity 100%. I still don't know where to stop questioning and start believing. I still wonder if there ever would be an ideal composition of faith and intellect in beliefs. But if I cannot right now believe I know Truth, at least I believe I am walking in the direction of Truth, and right now it is sufficient.
When would I arrive at Truth? and what would it be? I don't know. What I can say is that I wish with all my being that Truth would be that there is a good God, and that I've only taken the tortuous round-about way in discovering that. In a twisted way of thinking, I think atheists are the very people who instinctively sense the character of God. . that if there is a God, He has to be good. But atheists find that the pain, suffering, perceived injustice and plain human stupidity in the world to be proof against a good God. So, rather than choosing to believe in a bad God, they choose to believe that there is no God at all.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
And so...
...it all boils down to this....
These days, one of the conversation topic in archi *beside whose model is sexier and how many more weeks are there to submission* is: which study track are you going to choose? As i have mentioned here, there are 4 tracks: urban, design, landscape and research... Each has its own strength and interesting aspect, which leaves me with a tiny-weeny problem:
I want to do everything.
I mean, EVERYTHING.
Dang it's difficult to be a person who has really wide-ranging interests. It's even more difficult to be a person with really wide ranging interests that is also has no fear of failure in taking on any subject...I mean, don't wanna sound stuck-up or anything, but here's a typical conversation I sometimes have with myself:
Inner Shiela: "ok, we really have to make a choice here...let's be practical... which one do you think you'll be good at?"
Outer Shiela: "uh.....anything...?"
Inner Shiela: "Over-confident as usual.....but ok, so which one do you think interests you most?"
Outer Shiela: "uh......everything?"
It makes making decisions a hellish process...\
But I digresss. The story goes that after a long and agonizing decision (which begins here ), I gave up on landscape architecture... Today though, there was a talk given by a new associate professor on landscape architecture, which I attended just because a studio mate called me saying please come because the professor is pissed that so few people were attending...I thought "Oh, well, ok let's be nice student once in a while.."
And the rest, as they say, is history... I mean, he HAD to show study trips where students go to rural
Bangladesh ,to a city I've never heard at all before (Khulna) and rode in flimsy wooden boats...he HAD to tell us about how the students went to a city in Indonesia and studied the villages to come out with urban solutions, he HAD to mention "Why build another museum, another school, another theatre, when you could be studying big cities and trying to resolve very real problems? " ..He HAD to say "we need students who are willing to travel to places with difficult conditions, who realise there might be no solution for these problems but we still could learn so much...", he HAD to tell, with beaming eyes and a childish smile, of that contrast between walking along rural conditions, slums, "low" situations while at the same time having "high" intellectual ideals..
In short, he's tugging at my heartstrings....
And he JUST HAVE to show this quote:
"In the practice of landscape architecture. . . . . the sky is a constant companion."
Which summoned in my mind the possibility of actually roaming around doing fieldwork rather than sitting down on my desk the whole day doing CAD and models...don't get me wrong, I love sitting down and designing..It's like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces are constantly changing shape...but in the end, if I can combine my love for design and my love for the outdoors, why not?
So in the end...Haih...bye Tadao Ando, hello Trees.....
These days, one of the conversation topic in archi *beside whose model is sexier and how many more weeks are there to submission* is: which study track are you going to choose? As i have mentioned here, there are 4 tracks: urban, design, landscape and research... Each has its own strength and interesting aspect, which leaves me with a tiny-weeny problem:
I want to do everything.
I mean, EVERYTHING.
Dang it's difficult to be a person who has really wide-ranging interests. It's even more difficult to be a person with really wide ranging interests that is also has no fear of failure in taking on any subject...I mean, don't wanna sound stuck-up or anything, but here's a typical conversation I sometimes have with myself:
Inner Shiela: "ok, we really have to make a choice here...let's be practical... which one do you think you'll be good at?"
Outer Shiela: "uh.....anything...?"
Inner Shiela: "Over-confident as usual.....but ok, so which one do you think interests you most?"
Outer Shiela: "uh......everything?"
It makes making decisions a hellish process...\
But I digresss. The story goes that after a long and agonizing decision (which begins here ), I gave up on landscape architecture... Today though, there was a talk given by a new associate professor on landscape architecture, which I attended just because a studio mate called me saying please come because the professor is pissed that so few people were attending...I thought "Oh, well, ok let's be nice student once in a while.."
And the rest, as they say, is history... I mean, he HAD to show study trips where students go to rural
Bangladesh ,to a city I've never heard at all before (Khulna) and rode in flimsy wooden boats...he HAD to tell us about how the students went to a city in Indonesia and studied the villages to come out with urban solutions, he HAD to mention "Why build another museum, another school, another theatre, when you could be studying big cities and trying to resolve very real problems? " ..He HAD to say "we need students who are willing to travel to places with difficult conditions, who realise there might be no solution for these problems but we still could learn so much...", he HAD to tell, with beaming eyes and a childish smile, of that contrast between walking along rural conditions, slums, "low" situations while at the same time having "high" intellectual ideals..
In short, he's tugging at my heartstrings....
And he JUST HAVE to show this quote:
"In the practice of landscape architecture. . . . . the sky is a constant companion."
Which summoned in my mind the possibility of actually roaming around doing fieldwork rather than sitting down on my desk the whole day doing CAD and models...don't get me wrong, I love sitting down and designing..It's like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces are constantly changing shape...but in the end, if I can combine my love for design and my love for the outdoors, why not?
So in the end...Haih...bye Tadao Ando, hello Trees.....
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