On Principles

Principles.. can only hold well if there are solid reasoning and foundation behind them.. Since re-examining my beliefs and slowly and agonizingly reconstructing them till now, my propensity to adopt principles and stick to them have suffered as well.

And so, for now, regarding other people I only have two:

1. Don't play with other's feelings

2. Don't lie to yourself

I think those two would already keep my hands full!

On Growth

At last I realize this.. Friends can grow separately without growing apart, but lovers cannot, or can't afford to, since their worlds are supposed to be closely intertwined. This is why I'm wary of long distance relationships.. It's very difficult to grow while making sure the other person knows how you're growing, and meanwhile keeping track of how he/she grows too.. It's distracting, and suffocating.. And isn't the whole point of a relationship is to grow together, building each other up?

Somehow this is a liberating realization, and made it so much clearer to my mind the difference between friendship and relationship! *For the longest time, I thought relationship = close friendship + physical closeness. Needless to say I found out it's not that simple ;p *

Cina..

Barusan ngepak kemaren malam.. dengan perasaan paranoid karena entah udah berapa banyak orang yang bilang di Beijing lagi dingin minta ampun, termasuk temenku yang orang Beijing.. Huhu.. Yah, kalaupun nantinya aku mati beku di Cina..

. . . .

Ok, mari ganti topiknya. Tadinya waktu memutuskan pergi ke Cina, cuma spontan aja *ok not that spontan sih.. Lebih tepatnya sih nekat..*, tapi semakin lama.. jadi semakin excited.. Bagaimanapun juga, itu dataran tempat nenek moyangku berasal, yang waktu kecil sering diceritakan papaku sebagai "orang-orang keturunan Naga". Nasib punya Bapak yang supporter Cina abis, aku tau bahwa orang-orang Cina itu dulunya ilmuwan, dokter, astronom, pelaut, sastrawan dan seniman yang handal2. Coba ya, kertas, buku, tinta, bubuk mesiu, sutra, kompas dan masih banyak lagi itu kan asal mulanya dari Cina.. Nggak lupa teknik arsitekturnya yang semakin aku dalami, semakin mempesona.. Belum lagi, kung-fu.. karena pada saat anak2 cewek lain mengidolakan Hanson, Westlife, 5566, Rain sampe kini Robert Pattinson, aku tetap setia pada Jet Li dan Jackie Chan, hasil 'didikan' papa dari kecil yang setiap ada film kung-fu baru bakal membonceng aku naik motor untuk nonton di bioskop.. *Salah satu kenangan masa kecil paling indah =) *

Tetep aja, sulit banget buatku untuk merasa 'Cina'.. Bahkan aku nggak bisa jatuh cinta dengan bahasa dan budayanya seperti aku jatuh cinta dengan bahasa Indonesia atau Perancis.. Padahal, bukannya nggak keren juga. Ada untungnya juga trip ke Cina. Untuk persiapan, aku banyak baca buku tentang sejarah Cina, Cina kuno, arsitektur Cina dan urban planning-nya budaya Cina dan cara orang2nya berkomunikasi.. Paling nggak sekarang aku lumayan curious tentang Cina. Baru nyadar bahwa menjadi "keturunan Cina" cuma berarti kakekku adalah orang Cina yang migrasi ke Indonesia, itu saja, karena soal budaya dan tradisi Cina, aku sama sekali buta. Deg2an juga karena mata sipitku pasti bakal bikin masalah kalo aku nekat ngomong bahasa inggris di sana.. Udah siap2 mental untuk dipanggil "Cina aspal" - asli tapi palsu..

Selain itu, anehnya Cina, apa yang dilihat di film, dibaca di buku2 filosofi, beda dengan apa yang kudengar dari sekeliling beberapa tahun terakhir ini..

Di film2, orang2 Cina punya nilai moral yang tinggi, rasa setia kawan, integritas, prinsip.. Tapi, coba, dari mulai guruku, teman, sampe papaku sendiri *seperti ditulis di atas, supporter Cina abis* bilang hati2 sama orang Cina, karena mereka itu paling licik, paling cari untung, penuh tipu daya.. Cewek2 Cina konon terkenal agresif, businessman2 Cina terkenal menghalalkan segala cara.. 

Dan lagi, idealnya, setelah melalui proses peradaban 5000 tahun, harusnya orang2 Cina itu sangat berbudaya.. Kenyataannya? Banyak teman2 yang pernah tinggal sehostel dengan orang2 Cina daratan cerita, yang katanya mereka jorok banget lah, suka ambil makanan orang di kulkas lah, kasar etc.. Tambahan lagi, katanya di Cina sekalipun, budaya antri itu nggak ada, orang2nya suka meludah sembarangan, toilet umum nggak bisa diharapkan *masukan dari internet, ditambah cerita trauma mamaku sendiri..*. Waktu tur ke Australia kemaren, sempat ketemu dengan banyak orang Cina, dan berhubung 2 adikku adalah 'pembenci Cina abis', jadinya mereka berdua malah terus-menerus observe kelakuan orang2 Cina itu, dan sering 'laporan' ke aku.. "Ci masa ya tadi ada bapak2 Cina, karena toilet cowoknya ada orang, dia cuek aja lho masuk ke toilet cewek.. Dasar orang Cina..", "Ci, tadi ya aku mo ngantri, trus langsung diserobot segerombolan orang Cina.. Dasar orang Cina.."

Well, well. Apa ya penyebab "keretakan" antara image orang Cina dalam buku2 sastra dengan di dunia nyata ini? Yah walaupun dalam kenyataan juga orang Amerika bukanlah superheroes Hollywood, dan orang India gak joget2 sesering itu... Apa gara2 "Cultural Revolution"nya Mao Tse Tung yang dengan gebleknya malah menyuruh orang2 intellektual pergi ke kampung untuk jadi petani sehingga sekarang budaya Cina jadi kental sifat "kampungan"nya?

Oh well, aku bakal punya kesempatan sendiri untuk pergi dan melihat kehidupan orang Cina, di pusat kebudayaannya lagi, Beijing. Let's see apa setelah ini aku bakal merasa lebih Cina dan lebih bangga mengaku keturunan Cina, atau malah aku menyamar jadi orang Jepang sekalian =D

The Buffet Theory

As readers of my blog will know, I often try to understand relationships by comparing them to things.. Diseases, organ transplantation, car crash *you never know when you're gonna get hit, and to what extent you'll recover...* etc..

One of my favorite authors compared having a relationship to eating a buffet.. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense..  There are many flavours to savor, you like some and dislike some.. And someone fussy will of course have more difficulty finding a buffet to his/ her liking..

Then, you might get lucky finding a buffet spread so delicious that you just want to take more, more, more.. Each mouthful just makes you impatient for the next.. However, it won't be good if the buffet's full of greasy, sugary junk food.. Just like a relationship where one party is too focused on another party who might be very self-centered/ abusive is unhealthy.. The key here is to find someone so delicious you can't get enough of him/ her, yet so nutritious that the more you partake of the person, the more you get inspired, grow, become a better person.. *For those wondering if this sentence hints towards cannibalism.. Dude you're sick... Go get help!*

If the relationship ends.. Well, it's really like after a buffet, no? Some are so full they just want to stay off buffets for a while.. Some crave another feast they just plunge into the next available spread.. *Just a note, it's proven that people will eat more in a buffet and become more undiscerning with the food, i.e they tend to eat for the sake of eating..*

Going on, perhaps just like in a relationship (in my opinion anyway), in a buffet one must remember to eat moderately.. Restrain oneself a bit even if the urge is to devour everything.. Make it last as long and as pleasurably as possible!

"You are what you eat."

- general wisdom

Rasa2nya...

... hidup gw mirip seperti cara jalan gw.. Sering kesandung, tapi jarang jatuh..

Patut dibanggakan nggak ya...?

On ( The Horribly Horrible Flaws of) Jetstar

Well the purpose of this blog is not to rant about things, and besides rarely do I get ticked off.. But here's is an account of my worst flight experience after extensive travels around Europe, Asia and Australia.. FRIENDS, FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE AND SAFETY, DO NOT FLY JETSTAR. BASED ON THE INFORMATION I GOT, THEIR FLIGHTS ARE ALMOST GUARANTEED TO BE DELAYED, THE PLANES ARE NOT OF GOOD QUALITY, AND SERVICE SUCKS BIG TIME.

Ok here's why i'm now anti-jetstar:
1. when I first came to Australia through Darwin, the connecting flight was delayed 2 hours in the middle of the night, but fine, things happen sometimes, I didn't hold a grudge, but then.. 

2. on the flight back to Sg, i was supposed to take a plane from Cairns to Darwin, then Darwin to Sg. The plane was going to take off from Darwin and halfway through, the pilot BRAKED dammit.. after waiting for half an hour in the plane they told us it's not serviceable and they're gonna try to get another plane. That's 3 hours delay. 

3. Thankfully reached Darwin, but then told that the flight from Darwin-Sg is delayed 5 hours.. so we're gonna board at 23.39.. and we received $10 meal voucher for compensation.. The staff was very unapologetic to the point of seeming rude..

 4. Some people who had flights from Sg to somewhere else tried to work it out with the jetstar staff but were just told "Sorry we can't help you." A lady was in tears, going to miss a flight to Europe just like that.. That's at least S$1000 mind you..

 5. Went to the lounge.. talked to other disgruntled passengers.. funny thing is, there were people from other flights tt were delayed as well BECAUSE THE PLANES WERE NOT IN CONDITION TO FLY.. some things wrong with the engine and radios..

 6. Found out that we all received different amounts of compensation depending on the extent we protested.. some ignorant ones (like me n my bro) received $10, some $100, some $150, one lady received $300.. Jetstar doesn't seem to have a proper management system, if they have it at all.. 

7. Talked to a taxi driver in Darwin n yeah, he confirmed that jetstar is terrible because their flights are often delayed, while when he was late for his flight for 10mins, they told him he could not board. 

I think this combination of bad planes, bad timings, bad service and bad reputation is enough to stay off Jetstar the rest of my life... 

Le Café - Oldelaf

A French song I accidentally found on Youtube that harps on the effect of coffee.. and taking too much coffee hahaha.. Basically, in the beginning of the song the lyrics kind of concludes that nothing keeps one alert and functioning like a cup of coffee, but throughout the day, various people offered the main character cups and cups of coffee.. until in the end he becomes addicted, and well, you can see the result for yourself.

Even if you don't understand French, do check out the video because it's easy to understand and really funny!

Gotten a bit in touch with reality today, checking the exam results...
More than satisfactory, thank goodness, though I need to put more heart into studio next sem..

In a sudden flash of inspiration.. I "know" what my thesis topic will be... Hehehe.. It joins the complexity of architecture, the wide scope of landscape, and my desire to do something meaningful and not just cosmetic design... Plus, I'll be able to study it a bit when I go to China *Excited! Sending out CS resuests now..* and I can learn a lot about it from my own country, Indonesia..

Ass on fire now... I wanna make my last year in NUS really meaningful... Uooh!

Calmly Cairns...

Cairns is a city in North Australia that I chose for the family holiday simply for the "exotic-sounding name" factor.. Aside from the fact that it's a popular base to explore the Great Barrier Reef..

Dang this town is so calm.. in a nice way.. When we first came we couldn't believe we've arrived at the city center because all we could see was one storey buildings unformly built in beach bungalo style, painted in pastel colors.. Green, lush mountains form the backrop for the city, while the beach peeps from in between the buildings...

It lends new meaning to the phrase "the good life" ... (Though I was talking to the hotel receptionist and got a glimpse of just how bad the racial separation problems between the white Australians and the Aborigines are..)

Well.. went snorkeling with middle bro and Dad, which is an achievement because it took a lot of my persuasive powers to convince my Mom that it is not dangerous.. Mom and Grandma, in turn, enjoyed the beauty of the reefs on a semi-submarine..

Took a 7km cable car ride atop mountainous rainforest, of which the highlight of my day was when my Mom went into the forest, saw the big trees and thought them pretty cool (she normally would not be found in these kind of 'habitats'...) Ended up in an Aborigines cultural village, tried out how to throw a spear and a boomerang (not as difficult as I imagined, and fun!)

Family going back tomorrow while youngest bro and I will stay back 3 more days for, hopefully, more exploring and walking. Been really enjoying Australia, and the company of my family.. Guess one great thing that emerged from this is that I get to show my parents the activities I usually like to do, the way I usually like to explore, and they've been pretty cool about it. Glad for that.

It's true that people live through their experience.. that days count more if you experience new things everyday, while they don't count if you just live a monotonous life..
And boy, I've been living it up this holiday!

Briefly Brisbane

Stopped over in Brisbane for 2 nights. Some cool stuff:

1. Went to Dreamworld theme park with the whole family and it was unexpectedly pretty fun *ok I know I'm negatively biased towards family holidays, but it's just because in my family we really do have very different characters and hobbies*. Kudos to Mom for trying out this thrill ride called "The Cyclone" that..well... spins you around, basically.. Went on a ride called the "Tower of Terror" with my bros.. supposedly one of the fastest thrill rides in the world.. Let's just say it was surprising, and if you want to experience being catapulted from 0 kmph to about 120 kmph in several seconds, this one's for you..

2. I understand now why Gold Coast is called Gold Coast... We arrived there nearing the evening where there weren't so many surfers, and well.. the place is basically a long, long, long stretch of soft, beige sand..as far as the eyes can see.. combined with aquamarine waters and cool rushing waves.. I had my doubts about visiting Gold Coast because I thought it would be just like any other commercialised beaches.. but even Skeptic Shiela admits that it's beautiful..

3. For the first time in my holiday I experienced the Australian summer..haha.. because in Melbourne and Sydney the weather was like autumn in Europe..brr!

Aside from those, Australia has unexpectedly diverse and great food.. Arguably better than Singapore.. According to a friend from Melbourne who've stayed in Singapore, it's because a lot of immigrants who come to Australia open eateries, and do all the cooking and serving themselves.. True enough, when we went to Korean restaurants, all the waitresses are Koreans.. Vietnamese restaurants = Vietnamese waitresses, sushi outlets = Japanese cooks and waitresses.. This is where Australia wins hands down, since in Singapore the cooks / staffs who prepare the food will not be the "authentic" nationalities.. Still kinda searching around for authentic 'Australian' fare though.. you have the typical kangaroo burger and steak, crocodile meat, baramundi (a type of fish), and drinks and desserts made from bush plants.. but I think Australian food is not really Australia's selling point..

Brisbane city is very walkable (though hot), and the City Hall - a rather nice building - is now a free museum chronicling Brisbane's history. Now, if you ever go there, I think there's one thing absolutely worth seeing: go to the toilets, because they use huge solid marble slabs as.. the cubicle divider.... Easily one of the most lavish public toilets I've seen!

Suddenly Sydney, and Mom, and Dad..

.....
....
....
...ok, so I've stood in front of the Sydney Opera House.. and only then did I truly appreciate what a piece of engineering marvel that is.... And Sydney does have a very beautiful harbour..

Went inside a rainforest in the Blue Mountains near Sydney. Loved it. Tall fern trees.. Lush moss carpet... And the inside of the forest feels like it's air-conditioned... I think some Singaporeans would kill to have that kind of rainforest weather inside Sg's nature reserves..

Australia.. is nothing like I expected.. Seen the fairy penguins (Penguins are indeed so very bloody cute!!!), seen the fantastic coastline, seen the weird plants and animals, seen the particular style of architecture, seen the clothes people wear on the street, seen the climate... Am considering overstaying and being an illegal immigrant...

Honestly.. I'm still lingering on my memories exploring Melbourne's laneways (Oh yeah, in the great debate of whether Sydney or Melbourne is better, I'm definitely with the Melbournians.. Lots of reasons..)

On another note.. Quite some stuff happened.. Among which was a big row with my parents over issues that kept reappearing, like my backpacking around and how I could never really forgive my mom for all the things she said to me while I was growing up...

I think, I can finally let go of my vengeful feelings that I thought I couldn't help having.. Just feel so relieved now, a lot lighter.. Straightened out a lot of misunderstandings with my parents.. AND secured their blessing to work in any part of the world I choose to. Very glad about that.. It felt bad when I really want to work outside Singapore and my parents can only point out how Singapore is "safe and convenient".

I can't believe my parents thought I'm obsessed *actual word used by them* with dating a European just as a "ticket" to move and live to Europe. It's ridiculous to the point of being funny, if only I can ignore the fact that my own parents thought I'm that scheming....

I can't believe my parents said, " You're our daughter, we will always be here for you.. Even if you are pregnant right now, we will be with you.."

Oh wow... That's very reassuring...

Ah well, they promise to not make ridiculous assumptions anymore, and I'll try to be more open now that I'm not very defensive and hateful towards them.

Hufh, a lot of sorting out. Make no mistake, I still think I'm very, very lucky, at least to have parents that never, ever complain about providing for the kids financially. AND they have provided so much more than enough. They've got lots of good sides, and my promise is that I'll remember more and more of their good sides than their weaknesses as parents.

Ufh, well.. So far this family holiday has been unexpectedly enjoyable... So glad!

On to Brisbane tomorrow!

Melbourne On My Mind

Can't. Get. Enough. Seriously.

The architecture student in me is having the time of her life. Fantastic superimposition of Victorian and modern architecture. Totally cool use of materials. Weird and wonderful forms. Alleys and lanes. Graffiti. Quirky spaces.

Concentrated, and intense.

And not so many people so there's so much space.

Dang staying in Singapore is becoming more and more difficult.

A! AAA!

(image can be found here: http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/images/set3/australia_kangaroo.jpg)

*Australia! Another Adventure Awaits!*

*I just love playing with words starting with the same letter...*

Anyway, will be off to Aussi on 3rd Dec till the 23rd, following the route: Canberra - Melbourne-Sydney - Blue Mountains (maybe) - Brisbane - Gold Coast - Cairns (Great Barrier Reef!). It's a family holiday and I'm the one in charge of planning the route haha.. pretty cool trying to accommodate the whims and fancies of every family member.. Shopping for Mom (and plenty of rest stops..and not too much outdoorsy stuff..), museums and parks for me n Dad (Yay!), weird food for my middle bro (kangaroo and crocodile steaks..), and hot Aussie chicks for the youngest one (though I don't need to plan for this..)

Was thinking of going backpacking alone while waiting for my family to join me in Aussi, but in the end am going first with my youngest bro. Was wondering if it'll be difficult to connect because of our age gap, hadn't talked to him for long, etc, but if these few days serve as an indicator, we'll have a good time talking nonsense =D Actually, am pretty proud for being a big sis that my bros can connect easily with..hahaha..

Some facts I find interesting about Australia...

1. Christmas is in summer.. which is totally a far cry from all the Christmassy stuff I'm accustomed to hearing/ watching.. oh well am gonna do some beach Christmas shots w/ the bro haha..

2. Half of Australia is used for sheep rearing.. somehow now when I see a map of Australia there's a "soundtrack" of sheep bleating in my mind..

3. There's a "flying doctor" service that provide medical care to people living in the Outback.. cuz many people would die, isolated, without this kind of service..

4. Of course, it's home to Sydney Opera House and Federation Square! in fact, I've made a list of all the buildings I want to see, and I'll try to 'tick' everything!

5. The title of Australia's national song, "Waltzing Matilda", is German for 'carrying a backpack'! I thought this is just so cool!

So yeah, am really excited about going there... I think when I stand in front of the Sydney Opera House - such an icon of Australia for architecture students - it'll take me several seconds to really register that I'm standing there.. Just like when I first stood in front of Eiffel..

Strange thing is, what makes it a little less exciting..is the fact that people speak English in Australia hahaha.. somehow, I've come to associate traveling with trying to communicate with people with a different language, and speaking English just doesn't give the same 'kick' hahaha..

Oh well, Aussie here I come!