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I don't know what to title the blogpost...but well...it's about Vietnam since I'm definitely having withdrawal symptoms now... Woke up this morning, looked out of the window..and I can't believe I didn't see anyone in traditional conical hat, or riding bicycle, or sitting by the pavement having a bowl of pho...

Vietnam... has been one wonderful thing after another...For a start, my team mates were awesome.. We stayed in a rather dilapidated school building, with no such convenience as proper toilets, water heater or air-con, but despite being Singaporeans used to such comforts, my team members didn't complain, and the team atmosphere was cheerful and fun. Even towards the last days when we were really exhausted, it was still really great having the team around. Also, the weather was schorching hot most of the time we were there *I'm really tan now..huhuhu...* but people just worked and made the best of it. It's my first time spending my holiday together with a bunch of people who are prepared to slave away during their holiday too..and I'm definitely looking forward to other such trips!

Vietnamese people are really friendly...met a bunch of fun people when I was there..the villagers, the workers, the kids, several conservationists *unexpected, and very glad to have met them! "For a living planet, keep wildlife in the wild!" *...Vietnamese food...is deliciously healthy.. the fruits are yummy...man...if only there's a bunch of vietnam lychee in front of me now.. Love the architecture in Hanoi..the complicated tube houses, chaotic criss-crossing of electrical cables..the mini-size furniture...Life happening at the road pavements...

. . . . Somehow it doesn't feel so great to be back home, knowing there's such a great place, such a great life out there.. Sure, last night I slept with the air-con, on a mattress without bedbugs, complete with pillows and bolster... but it just seems meaningless now..compared to spending nights in sleeping bag, on hard ground, but actually doing something that will help other people.. the hospitality shown by the villagers towards us, the pride and joy I feel in contributing something to their community even though I'm just a foreigner that doesn't understand the language and culture..the schoolchildren's smiles...

I'm really grateful for a lesson I learnt on the trip: Life can either be spent getting comfortable or making a difference - you just gotta choose!

It's a small world after all..

Currently in Hanoi, falling in love with the city...met a friend whom I totally didn't expect to meet in Hanoi,Vietnam...
Divine providence, fate or just really weird coincidence? Bottom line..It's a small world after all..

Vietnam.....

Uhm...so for the next two weeks I'll be spending time in a village 3 hours away from Hanoi... Technically helping the villagers build a village library but I've a hunch we'll end up being not so useful...Must at least learn the way of life and appreciate the people and culture!

So, we'll be sleeping in a school building in the village...reminds me of the time when I had to stay in my secondary school in Indonesia with a bunch of friends and teachers for some sorf of training...school buildings have their own eeriness...can't be helped, I guess..given that most students emit malevolent wavelengths while being forced to listen to those boring teachers...

Also, just found out that for bathing we'll be gathering rainwater...Hm.... It creates a kind of dilemma....If it rains, we can bathe but cannot work...If it doesn't rain, we can work but cannot bathe....
Oh well, what's not bathing for 1 or 2 days, rite.....*once again,credits to excellent NUS architectural education who've prepared us for this kind of things*

That said,I'm quite looking forward to it.. it's my first "immersion" kind of trip *aside from a super-long immersion cum educational torture trip in Singapore, of course*.. and I guess I wanna see if I'm cut out to live the kind of lifestyle in villages....if I really can be a kind of "humanitarian cum architect"...

Ah well, no expectations..Vietnam here I come!

CheatNeutral

Anything can be found on the net... Was reading NewScientist and they wrote about this website: www.cheatneutral.com .. The website's tagline :"CheatNeutral - Helping you because you can't help yourself" , and the premise goes like this: if you can't help cheating on your partner, that means you've upset the global fidelity balance,and hence your cheating needs to be offset. The website will link you to people who promises to stay faithful in return for an amount of money that you'll pay them. *Take a look at the site, it's pretty neat.* Was kinda laughing when I read the stuff there..since I'm planning to either be single or stay monogamous, I clicked on the link "Become a Project" and got this:

Do you find it easy to be faithful?

Is loyalty part of your nature? Or maybe you're just happy being single.Whatever it is, if you're monogamous or single you can help those who can't help themselves - and get paid for not getting laid.

When you register to become a Cheatneutral offset project you're joining a global community of fidelity - a massive cheat-absorbing resource, ensuring the future wellbeing of millions of unfaithful couples.

All you have to do is agree to stay monogamous or single - and if we match you with a suitable cheater, you'll get paid to neutralise their cheating.

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Hillarious? Well, then I clicked on the "small print" section and found out that this whole project is a satirical take on carbon-offsetting...And it made me thought all over again whether countries and factories can really "offset" the damage they do to the environment and appease their guilty conscience just by funding some "carbon-offsetting" project..hm....

Funny way kindness works....

Had a nice morning.. went to Toa Payoh library to photocopy some stuff, and in the library, as in many places in Singapore, the photocopy machine uses cashcards.

When I was in the middle of photocopying, a lady came and looked around, and apparently she did not know how the machines work. Since she didn't have any cashcard, she asked my help to photocopy some pages. Well, no problem. I've been a recipient of people's help so many times so I guess it's my turn to do some helping. She ended up insisting that she should pay me eventhough I kept refusing. And she gave me more than was needed. *Look, I really did try to refuse, alright..* Then we had a chat and it turned out she had a small juice bar so she asked me to come so that she can treat me a drink...

All well and good...After saying I'd drop by and thinking what stroke of good luck I have, I continued my photocopying...Some minutes later, 2 schoolgirls came and apparently they've never photocopied in the library also, cuz one of them was holding cash and looking confused. Oh well, now I can use the money given to me to do some more good...So I helped them photocopy their stuff, and in the middle of doing it, another lady came to the photocopy room... I handed the photocopies to the girls and assured them that no, I don't need payment, then I turned to the other lady who obviously did not know about cashcards also since she stood there looking at me, a bit confused. Why stop at helping 3 people, right? So I asked her to give me the pages and said I'll help her...She said, "Oh, thanks a lot! So do you work here?" "Uhm..no, actually..." After I'm done photocopying her stuff, she wanted to pay me also,more than the actual price....insisted that I must receive the cash since I've been very helpful *I'm not being very humble here, am I..*. We chatted for a while too..she just arrived from the USA *I thought she was from China..huhu..* and she told me that in the USA you don't have to pay for photocopies in the library...Wow! Singapore should emulate that! ;p

Anyway after all that...I continued my photocopying, while idly thinking away..and then I realised that, after helping 4 people photocopy their stuff, I felt happy for helping, got a free drink invitation, and still ended up making some *unintended* monetary profit! Hm.... Now if that's the way kindness works everytime, I'm sure Singapore doesn't need a "Be Gracious" campaign or whatever..

Hm... it's funny, really...Singaporeans often joke, jibe or complain and self-deprecatingly admit that theirs is an apathetic,kiasu *scared-to-lose* society, but after living here for so long, I came to think that the veneer of a cold, impersonal, don't-bother-me-I'm-zipping-thru-life attitude in this society is just that: a veneer. And beneath, one finds that there are kindness to be had, after all.. That given the chance people still practice not what's profitable, but what's commendable.

Even if the commendable turns profitable, sometimes... Should I set up shop as a photocopy assistant in Toa Payoh library?

Something Fishy This Way Comes...

Hm....

Hm....

Tried to eat a piece of fish for lunch today, in preparation for my Vietnam trip.. *don't wanna trouble the villagers there with vegetarian food..*, and also in case I can't survive in Europe's colder climate with just veggies and cheese...

Uhm.....

Somehow it's a lot fishier than I remember it to be...And I frankly did not enjoy it at all.. Tried to mask the taste with soya sauce but...The texture..The fishy taste *duh shiela..it WAS a piece of fish..* Guess I lost my acquired taste for fish and had to re-acquire it...I clearly remember though that I loved to eat fish....Hated pork, ok with beef and chicken..never wanted to try strange meats like frog, dog etc..but when I was young my parents would order fried fish for me when we ate out..And deep in the recesses of my mind I remember cleaning fish bones of their meat and licking my fingers during the meal.....

Oh well...

To the question: "Why fish?Doesn't fish suffer when being killed too?" hm...I don't know..but somehow I feel more ok to eat fish than chicken or beef... Well...Discounting the fact that it died of suffocation..and that its corpse was then disrespectfully treated by frying in hot oil...When I became vegetarian, I told myself I won't eat animals except in the case of survival....And the time has come when I should define "survival"...

Haih...

Would've eaten shrimp instead since it reportedly has a simpler brain structure and *my wishful thinking* is hopefully less sensitive to pain...Too bad am allergic to it...

Hm....

Which one is better, fishy or shrimpy?

Random..

Baru kepikiran... bahasa Indonya "random" apaan yah?

Anyway...di luar lagi hujan deras..dan sesuai tradisi...jadi mellow deh..hm....*jeger* Oh! Kesamber ilham!

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Aku . . . . . .


Aku ingin . . . . . .


Aku ingin jatuh . . . . .


Aku ingin jatuh cinta . . . . .


Aku ingin jatuh cinta tanpa. . . . .


Aku ingin jatuh cinta tanpa rasa. . . . . .


Aku ingin jatuh cinta tanpa rasa bersalah. . . . . .


Biar berdebar jantungku yang memang tak lelah. . . .

Biar meluap rasaku dan tumpah ruah. . .

Cinta yang hangat dan pekat seperti darah. . . .

. . . . .
*cut* Kok puisinya jadi serem gitu yah....uhm... Anyway..mungkin gara2 baru nonton film prancis..yg start out mirip romantic comedy but ended up jadi psychological thriller... but it's a really really good film, judulnya "A la follie, pas de tout." (Foolishness - Not at all) Highly recommended!

Ow!!! Another highly recommended film: Kung-fu Panda. Waaaa kereeeen!!

"Everybody goes kung-fu fighting..."

Reasonable Faith

“Love is hard to believe, ask any lover. Life is hard to believe, ask any scientist. God is hard to believe, ask any believer. What is your problem with hard to believe?”
-Life of Pi, Yann Martel

Actually it's more apt to say,"what is MY problem with hard to believe?"

Hufh.....

Currently asking a lot of questions, shifting through a lot of influences, swimming in a lot of thoughts...

Trying to break free from my conditioning, and re-discover why I was willing to be conditioned in the first place..

One word describes my current condition: unresolved.

"Use reasoning in science, but not God."

Am I wrong to want to believe in a God so true and real He can be found in the realm of Reason and not just the realm of Faith?

The believer will scorn me for polluting faith with reasoning.
The non-believer will mock me for daring to mix the irrational with the rational.

Well and truly, unresolved.