.. the question that people usually ask when they see someone who've been MIA for a long time.. haha.. Wow, I realised I haven't been writing on the blog for really long, though I've been writing a lot of personally, mulling over things, reflecting, growing.... The thing is.. this blog has been chronicling my thoughts from the first year of university - it was created precisely to document my archi student journey - and somehow it does not feel right to not write about this intense time as I get closer to the end of university...
Anyway, Life.. has thrown a lot stuff on me lately, but also, I've asked a lot from it..
Studio.. sad to say that I've rather wasted the chance to grow through it.. If anything, I'm currently a virtually passion-less, complain-full, gossipy, 'I-don't-even-wanna-go-to-studio-if-I-can-help-it' student who harbors a lot of resentment to the person I should respect the most in the studio, the person who talked me into applying for landscape architecture, no less. The realization that I am not rising above the situation but instead going with herd mentality of "ah alright the rest are generally dragging their feet around too so what I'm feeling is ok" marks another all-time-low in life.. sigh..
Well, beneath it all, there's still my unwillingness to let my love for design and my life in general be ruined because of that constant, nagging thought that I'm really not learning anything, wasting my time, and just wishing it will soon be over.. I just have to believe that there's still a little spark inside waiting for the right moment, the right trigger, to ignite again and consume me thoroughly with renewed passion...
Aside from studio though, Life's great =) Just came back from a capoeira roda and felt inspired, energized again.. Really, there's not a lot of thing more beautiful, more joyful, more unifying, more uplifting, more relieving than a roda, even if this time I was just a spectator due to unfortunate clash of studio deadlines with capoeira events.
And then there's.. well.. there's someone in my life that fascinates, just fascinates me right now and as I go into that scary yet rewarding process of getting vulnerable, being nervously afraid and yet find that it's worth it.. I'm really grateful..
Hufh.. In my church it was said to the youth, there are 3 decisions in Life you really need to get right: what you believe, whom you spend your life with, and what you do for a living... To deal with all three of them at the same time is rather overwhelming, and this is just the beginning..
But hey, that's Life =)
