What's your take?

With a true colonial mentality, I still often think of Paris and the life I had there even until now.. more than 6 months since I came back to Singapore.. Read something in the newspaper that made me wonder what would the reaction be if this is implemented in Paris:

For one, I'm pretty sure there would be a nation-wide strike on this total infringement of French rights.. Not to add to the stereotype of French people kissing everywhere saying "je t'aime" every five minutes, but I'm pretty sure every self-respecting french will be horrified upon reading the article!

And the issue, of course, is whether Singaporeans are used to maintaining so much of a public decorum that they would do anything to be considered "proper"...

Reader, what do you think?

*lagi browing buku2 di Borders sama seorang temen, sebut saja H, trus liat satu buku ttg Michael Jackson*
Me: "Eh waktu MJ mati lu kaget gak? P'rasaan gimana?"
H: "Ah biasa aja..soalnya gw gak denger musiknya sih..."
Me: "Yah, tapi kan terkenal gitu... orang kan gak kebayang dia bakal mati muda gitu, kirain dia bakal ada untuk waktu yang lama... tp mungkin pas Elvis, Marylin Monroe mati juga kayak gitu ya.."
H: "Eh! Michael jackson tuh kan yang katanya operasi kelamin itu yah?"
Me: "Uhhhh..... operasi kulit kali! Masa operasi kelamin??!!"

H, makanya jangan ngobrol sama komputer melulu..... ;p

On Paradise and Pleasures

"For some aesthetic sensibilities, a highly refined vice is far more beautiful than any earnest virtue."
- Robert Pogue Harrison, Gardens, An Essay on The Human Condition

Was reading the above book, on how we look at various kind of gardens form the social point of view, when I came into a very interesting chapter: the difference between paradise gardens from the Western-Christian and the Middle Eastern-Islamic points of view. Apparently, the concept of "Paradise" from the Islamic viewpoint incorporates a lot of fountains, fruits, shade, greenery.. which is understandable since the climate in the region is more arid and consists of vast deserts. However, there is also another element that keeps appearing in the vision of "Paradise" : virgins.

*Ok, disclaimer first. It is not my intention to criticize Islam, seeing as I don't even understand enough about it, so this writing should be taken as ignorant opinions from someone outside the faith.*

Back to topic. Virgins. The book presented several verses supporting the presence of many virgins in "Paradise", e.g. :
Quran: (37:40-48): …they will sit with bashful, dark-eyed virgins, as chaste as the sheltered eggs of ostriches.

Quran-(55:70-77): “ In each there shall be virgins chaste and fair….dark eyed virgins sheltered in their tents whom neither man or Jinn have touched before…”

Quran-(56: 35-36): “Verily , We have created them (maidens) of special creation. And made them Virgins.”


Which, then, made me wonder... I've heard of things like jihadists (Muslim martyrs) being promised virgins in Paradise, etc, but had never questioned them. This is the Hadith (an additional book of Law, but not part of the Quran) verse used to support this fact:
Hadiths: TIRMIZI, vol. 2 states on page 138: Every man who enters paradise shall be given 72 (seventy-two) houris(beautiful virgins); no matter at what age he had died, when he is admitted into paradise, he will become a thirty-year-old, and shall not age any further. A man in paradise shall be given virility equal to that of one hundred men.

The thing is, when men meet virgins of course I assume they don't just chat or eat fruits or run around together... At the end of the day, most probably the virgin won't be a virgin anymore..We don't even know if one men get one virgin or more than one (ok, say 1 to 72), won't Paradise run out of virgins? Especially since we've been having a lot of suicide bombers and jihadists..won't there be a shortage of virgins? (ok I'm using a bit of a mocking tone..haih..but I can't help thinking how silly is this 72 virgins promise)

And well, I can't help but think of an interesting twist.. what if the virgins are supposed to STAY virgins? What if the men REALLY are supposed to just sit, chat, and go no further with these virgins? (Since even touching is considered serious in Islamic cultures) That would surely address the virgin shortage problem, but heck I'd love to see the face of dumbfounded men being told, " Hey you! Nope, no touching. Yep you heard it right. Ah, ah, watch it dude, your nearly grazed the tip of her fingers."

Of course, this vision of "Paradise" also begs the question, why is it so male-centered? What happens to Muslim females who enter "Paradise"? I thought of an answer... Let's begin with the attitude towards females and virginity prevalent in more fundamental Islamic societies.. Single women are only valued when they are virgins, and this does not mean only abstaining from the act of sex itself, but also not being in the same room with an unrelated male, covering themselves up, not speaking with strangers etc etc... A whole list of standards that would make them "chaste virgins", and hence more valued by society.

Now, what if... when a woman enters "Paradise" she automatically becomes young, beautiful and will stay a virgin no matter how many men she slept with? Hahaha.. now that would solve 3 things:
1. the problem of virgin shortage
2. the problem of what are the men supposed to do with the virgins
3. the definition of "Paradise" for women...

Because well, should I be a Muslim woman, the idea of looking young, staying beautiful no matter how much I eat or what I do, and being able to sleep around while still being valued as a virgin doesn't sound half-bad ;p

Love and The Movies

*Disclaimer: am not taking position as a love guru, but as usual these are thoughts that manage to distract me from submission tomorrow.*

Metaphors are, for me, always an easier way to understand things, and suddenly I just had the idea that starting and ending a relationship is like going to watch a movie... Let's see if I got it right...

So...what's a great relationship like? It's like going to watch a Lord of The Rings movie. (Sorry for those not Tolkien's fan....oh, wait..why are you my friend, again?) You know the movie's gonna be bloody long, and maybe it's expensive to watch, but you still sacrifice your time gladly to watch it... And the relationship is like the movie itself... Bloody long, yeah, but it sure doesn't feel like it.. Complex, but the kind of complexity that's beautiful and enjoyable (like Architecture, or Mathematics, even) Serious, but the kind of seriousness that doesn't feel forced at all... stable,  secure but not heavy...Silent, not the kind of silence when there's nothing to say but the kind where nothing needs to be said... Maybe there are some boring moments, moments that make you feel totally irritated *like when Gollum tried to outwit Frodo* , but let's face it, for the most part, it's unbelievably stunning.... Oh yeah, of course there are brutal fight scenes too...but hey, at least those are well-executed AND central to the plot. Well, but you can't help it when eventually you reach THE END, because the movie characters had done everything there is to be done. You finish watching the movie, take a deep breath, and felt, "Man, my life has been enriched..." You come out of the cinema with a bittersweet smile... Happiness that you've watched something truly worth it, with a bit of sadness that maybe, just maybe you'd never watch something like that again.....

And a bad relationship? Well, it's like watching the newly-released Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. *ok I'm a big fan of J.K Rowling, which is why this movie just feels so insulting.*

The opening sequences are vague, you don't get a sense of what's going on, but wham! you're swept full force into the movie, all the while asking what exactly were the actors doing... A confused, "what-the-hell-am-i-doing-here" feeling ensues, just like in a lousy relationship. And if the movie itself is compared to a relationship...There are so many things that are left unsaid, so many pieces missing to the story, that it is doomed from the start... Throbbing hormones rule, and petty jealousy abounds.. Granted, there are some moments that are so lame it's funny, but the rest of the movie is pure torture. Not to mention, the ending is hanging AND Dumbledore died. And if it's a REALLY bad relationship, imagine watching that Harry Potter movie while being frozen to death in the cinema, wanting to pee but the nearest toilet is on another building. Needless to say, the movie ended *thank goodness!* and you can't get outta the cinema fast enough. "Fiuh! I totally wouldn't want to watch something like that again! Total waste of money and time, and even exhausting to watch...."

So that's my attempt at comparing "love" and the movies.. Of course, by now some of you would've totally realised that I wrote the piece only to heavily (HEAVILY, I mean it!) criticize the latest Harry Potter instalment.

Don't watch it, people. You have been warned.

On Avoiding Problems

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. "

- Albert Ellis

Somehow, in seeking to avoid trivial problems, I end up having bigger problems to face.. My problem-avoiding approach, i.e. hide everything and look innocent until proven guilty, needs re-thinking.

Haih......

On Bombs and My Country

"Terrorism has become the systematic weapon of a war that knows no borders and seldom has a face."

- Jacques Chirac

17 July 2009. Was in Ho Chi Minh City and opened the net to check mail. Saw MSN Indonesia. Read that there were again bombings in Jakarta. Surreal. Thought my country was finally on track to some peace and development. Found out conspiracy theories that these were done by politicians to undermine SBY. Intense irritation.. If it's an act of terrorism.. at least Al-Qaeda attacked American soil.. Screwing up your own country when it's already screwed up enough? Geez. If it's done by politicians... Wonder what my country would become in 5 years..

Short analysis from Dad: very possible that bombing is done by political rivals of the soon-to-be sworn in president. Indonesia back to unstable condition (the SBY government had done a lot to stabilise the country, but now it's undone again..hopefully not by much..). The bombing is a direct challenge to the government saying, "Even after all you've done, Indonesia is not safe." What a stupid thing to say to one's own govt. Parents a bit paranoid now. Very glad that all the kids are abroad. Research should be done on the relation between terrorism acts and the amount of Indonesian kids studying abroad. Even I got here as a result of May 1998 riots.

Anyway, continue analysis: tourism to Indonesia will be hit badly. People will avoid places with a lot of westerners for some time. Not advisable to buy assets now. After five years, SBY cannot be elected again, maybe then the real screwing up will begin.

Hufh. Am a Singaporeanised Indonesian, always safe and sound away from home, and about the only good thing I've done for my country is promote its books and language amongst Indos and non-Indos. Still, want Indonesia to do well, to be well. March on, Mr. President. Most Indonesians are not stupid. Let's hope these people use their clout.

On Parents

Me: "Well... I guess the important thing is trust.. like, it'll be great if kids can trust their parents, talk about things and stuff.."

PZ: "You mean you don't trust your parents?"

Me: "Not really I think...hmm...like I can't really talk to them..."

PZ: "But that's not about trust... I think trust is about knowing that someone will always be there for you..like, if you get into trouble you know your parents will be there for you. Other kinds of trust.. ok maybe it's nice, but it's secondary.."

Me: "Hmm... yeah I think you're right..."

__

Just talked to my father a bit about his worries the whole time I was in Vietnam. Well it was my fault because I stubbornly refused to pick up my parents' phone calls when I was there, as a result of being pissed over my mom's nagging the first day I got to Vietnam...

Argued a bit with my dad over his advices... I asked him how come he acted like he knows what was best for me when I grew up away from home and pretty much took major decisions myself.. At one point, the conversation went like this:

Dad: "We need to sit down and talk..just as friends...I just want you to listen, use my point of view as another consideration..."

Me: "No because you'll only want to make me hear your point of view and influence me.. Our views are to different and I hate it when you try to talk me into following what you want.."

Dad: "...think about it..even if I told you what I want and don't want you to do, when have you followed my advice? In the end you always do what you want..."

I had to smile at this point.. because well, it's true... Despite their naggings, arguments, diagreeings, prohibitions etc... in the end my parents are very supportive over the things I do, at least financially if not psychologically... and even if I arrogantly say that I grew up without their influence, the thought that my parents will always be there to support me and help me made me bold enough to do a lot of things. And I know it must be tough on any parent to have a daughter who often 'disappears', usually when she's in a foreign country, going around with goodness-knows-who, doing goodness-knows-what... Not to mention, that daughter has radically different ideas than you on what Life and proper behaviour are all about...

Man I really have some issues... For a person who often thinks of herself as quite mature, I know I can be super-childish still when dealing with my parents.. Sometimes even as I'm talking to my parents, I realise and dislike my own cocky tone and reluctance to say anything..

And yet it continues....

But am trying to 'make friends' with my dad again, over emails... Hope this works... 

"Your parents are like God because you know they're out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you're in crisis and need something."

- Chuck Palahniuk