On Pleasure

"Simple pleasures are often the last refuge of the complex."
- Oscar Wilde

Yesterday morning, in line with my being jobless-at-the-moment, I used up half the day just lying in bed reading. Re-reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. No thinking, "Ah but I need to do something else soon" or "Ah, but this book isn't adding anything of value to my work", "Ah, I need to meet up with friends while I have time" . . .

To add to the perfection of it all, it was raining in the morning and the weather was a cool, cloudy grey.. my favorite chill-out weather..

Read something in 'Eat, Pray, Love' along the lines of, in a world so awash with entertainment today, people are still desperate for pleasures. How true, and how sad. How ironic that, because we have so many choices, we move through all the choices too fast to enjoy any of them. Simple example, the moment my brain kinda knew that I'll have time to read, it reacted with, "Alright, let's go to this library and that library, you want to read this, this, this this and this.. and if you can't find the books, let's browse in the bookstore. Or buy it online. You do know it is vital you read these books to prepare for your next job. Anyway you love reading, you should love reading all these.. blah blah blah.."

I had to tell it, "Ow, shut up. I'd really just rather use the time to REALLY read. And I don't care, I'm gonna read a book about the pleasures of eating Italian food, even if it has no relevance whatsoever to my professional development."

Another example, realized yesterday that it's been some time since I am just really eating - no reading newspaper at the same time, no thinking about the next thing to do, no chatting with colleagues/ boyfriend.. Just forcing myself to be aware of each spoonful that goes into my mouth.. Read in the book 'Mindless Eating' that a lot of people now eat so fast or eat while distracting themselves, the brain does not even know what's going on, much less enjoy the taste of food!

Anyway, after the morning reading, I went out after lunch and spontaneously went to have a reflexology + neck & shoulder massage. I've been feeling so stiff on my shoulders it's beginning to really bother me. Normally, I would be asking The Boyfriend to pound on my muscles (he's good!) but he's also been busy and quite tired lately.

Thinking about it, another key point of having pleasures is that, as much as you can, take charge of your own pleasures. I mean, of course it is nice to be happy because someone else is giving to you, whether his time,gifts, or energy.. But the moment one depends on that, then there will be expectations, and a lot of room for resentment as well.

Case in point: I did request The B to help me massage my shoulders a bit a few days ago, and being the sweet guy, he complied, but because I knew he was also tired, I asked him to stop after a few strokes, and even then felt guilty. Keep this kind of thing up, before long one will feel guilty and unsatisfied. No good in a relationship. So I went to have a massage, paid the fee, has 45 mins of pounding and pressing and kneading, and now I feel awesome and ready to take care of myself and him.

Yeah, just so I won't forget again, here are the 'Three Pillars of Pleasure', Shiela-style:

1. Slow down
2. Keep it simple
3. Take charge

Can't go wrong with those. OK, now to go back to reading. "Simplify Your Life" by Elaine St. James =)