Just came back from my hometown, Pekanbaru, in which I spent 5 days for Chinese New Year.
Well, I haven't gone back for more than 2 years, so it shouldn't surprise me that there are a lot of changes... My town now has a public library building, and the building is pretty nice too, in the shape of an open book hahaha... Furthermore, being located quite close to Singapore, Pekanbaru takes its urban planning cues from the Lion City, and it now has an Orchard Road of some kind, though clearly nothing compared to the real deal. There's also a Chinatown, even if it's just a very short stretch of road, and the campaign banners of politicians of all tribes - Batak, Jawa, Minang, Malay - feature the words "Happy Chinese New Year", even in Mandarin! Malls play CNY songs, and on CNY day even native Indonesians went around decked in red....It was as festive as a small town can be...Surprising because when I was still living there, I learned Arabic-Malay in school, and Chinese culture belongs only to the Chinese,to be kept under wraps most of the time.
The most surprising thing for me though, came from my extended family...It's simply this: there are so many "new additions" to the family, and these, coming from my own cousins or young uncles and aunts! Well....Just to illustrate the situation....I'm now a proud cousin-aunt of close to 15 cousin-nephews and cousin-nieces...(I don't know how to call that type of family bond in english...)
The CNY gathering got quite hillarious, actually, several times one of the adults (A group of which I am now a new member..) would shout, "Hey stop that kid running around! Whose kid is that?!" At one point, an uncle had a noble, though completely naive, idea of gathering all the little ones to take a cute photograph....Well, if you've ever tried to gather 20 plus kids (including my young cousins) in one spot and get them to look at the camera at the same time....Let's just say it was disastrously funny....
That aside, honestly it's scary to realise that these people are 1,2,3 years older than me, and now they've got their little family. (Oh, and a friend's getting married tomorrow hehe..) And a sweet cousin of mine who's 1 year younger now has a daughter...which totally doesn't help my situation with my mom. It's surreal, but hyper real at the same time...something I can't really believe yet it's so in my face. Granted, mine's a small town and my own extended family is a conservative Chinese one, where one marries as soon as one finishes the highest qualification, be it university or secondary school...but still....
I used to think that relationship and marriage are only for the truly adult amongst us...The ones who know how to handle their pride, their emotions, how to respect their spouse when all they want is to strangle him/her, who are prepared for heavy responsibilities, and are good in managing finances and practical household issues. One of the strongest reason why I put off being in a relationship is that I think I'm not mature enough yet, and not willing enough yet to plan my life around another person's life....And there are all the idealistic notions about finding someone who's right, someone who at least won't make me bored if I have to be with him for a bloody long time...Plus I'm still hopeless at planning finances etc...
Which make it scary to see my young relatives coupling up...I mean, some of these are people whom I've seen stumble through life without direction, and I can see some of them are still kids, in attitude if not physically...Some are still being supported by the parents even after they marry...Seems that they're doing fine, though..Beaming motherly and fatherly smiles, and the warm glow of marriage around them. Have I gotten my theory all wrong? That relationships actually do not demand that much? That as long as you find a person that's somewhat okay, then it just depends on how you work it out? For sure, marriage seems to have "forced" some people to be adults.. I nearly laughed my head off when a cousin who was a gangsterly guy who loved to fight was coaxing his little daughter to drink some water...(He was totally at the mercy of the little girl...) when I told him how I find it unbelieavable, he just shrugged and said, "Well she's my daughter, my responsibility..."
In any case, it makes me happy to have so many cute nieces and nephews, and observing my cousins provide some really good thinking material, for me to examine my own attitude towards these "two-become-one" things. The downside, as usual, comes from my mom, who gleefully carried the little ones around and hugged them, while giving me the look... She's been saying something to this effect, "Look, I don't even ask for a grandkid, just let me get a glimpse of a potential son-in-law..." because I've been telling her, "Mom if you keep bugging me I'll bring you a grandkid soon just to get some peace. It's not that difficult to make a kid, you know.."
Not that I don't think about it, I guess, but I believe in taking things slow, and natural hahahaha...I have to thank my church teachings, actually, who made me believe that singleness is a gift, and a very special period in Life..I mean, in which other phase of life can you do anything you want, go the furthest you wish, be as wild as possible, without any heavy responsibilities?
Read something good:
"It's better to wait for someone you really want rather than be with someone who's available. It's better to wait for the right person than to pick someone around you and try to turn them into a loved one. Life is too short to be spent with the wrong person."
- Lovefool, kumpulan cerita hal2 konyol yang dilakukan demi cinta
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