-

Juz came back from NUS Indonesian Christian fellowship (ISCF), n one of the alumni talked about our attitude in relation to exam period. It's really good reflection for me. She said, often during exams or other times of great pressure we become more selfish, impatient, easily angered, n generally adopt a worse personality. Then, we'd justify it by saying "Well, that wasnt me, I was under a lot of pressure, and anyway I only become like that during exam period." But hey, think about it another way. What if the personality, the person that comes out during those times is actually the real you? In a sense, during the "good times" you're juz a superficially nice person, unable to maintain that "niceness" when the situation doesn't suit you.
It was a snap awakening... I do tend to become more impatient and self-centered during periods where I need a lot of time to study. Well, I could say "I'm juz a human being," and leave it at that, or I could ask God to mould me, n strive to be the best I can be when the situation is as bad as can be. May I have the strength to choose the latter.

Besides that, right now there's a warm fuzzy feelin' swarming in my heart..hahaha... cuz after the fellowship Rissa mentioned that my birthday juz passed, n so I was asked (forced? ;p ) to stand in the middle n everyone sang happy b'dae song, ISCF version. Was rather embarrassed (Rarely do I feel this emotion..) , but really happy as well. Reason? I've come to cherish the friends I made there, to treasure the way I belong to that community, and to be celebrated, be embraced by the people I value...Well, not many things are better than that =) Best part was the birthday prayer gift...Honestly, it's the first time I receive a prayer as a birthday gift,and again, not may things are better than that ;p

My resolution now that I'm 21? Watch Borat!

....Nah, tt doesnt even count as resolution.

I want to be more mature, but retain my childlike sense of wonder.To be less naive, but still trusting. To tell less lame jokes, but bring more laughter. (Guess some of my friends are already laughing in gratefulness as they read this decision to be less lame...)

Well, yeah. I'm 21 now.