A! AAA!

(image can be found here: http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/images/set3/australia_kangaroo.jpg)

*Australia! Another Adventure Awaits!*

*I just love playing with words starting with the same letter...*

Anyway, will be off to Aussi on 3rd Dec till the 23rd, following the route: Canberra - Melbourne-Sydney - Blue Mountains (maybe) - Brisbane - Gold Coast - Cairns (Great Barrier Reef!). It's a family holiday and I'm the one in charge of planning the route haha.. pretty cool trying to accommodate the whims and fancies of every family member.. Shopping for Mom (and plenty of rest stops..and not too much outdoorsy stuff..), museums and parks for me n Dad (Yay!), weird food for my middle bro (kangaroo and crocodile steaks..), and hot Aussie chicks for the youngest one (though I don't need to plan for this..)

Was thinking of going backpacking alone while waiting for my family to join me in Aussi, but in the end am going first with my youngest bro. Was wondering if it'll be difficult to connect because of our age gap, hadn't talked to him for long, etc, but if these few days serve as an indicator, we'll have a good time talking nonsense =D Actually, am pretty proud for being a big sis that my bros can connect easily with..hahaha..

Some facts I find interesting about Australia...

1. Christmas is in summer.. which is totally a far cry from all the Christmassy stuff I'm accustomed to hearing/ watching.. oh well am gonna do some beach Christmas shots w/ the bro haha..

2. Half of Australia is used for sheep rearing.. somehow now when I see a map of Australia there's a "soundtrack" of sheep bleating in my mind..

3. There's a "flying doctor" service that provide medical care to people living in the Outback.. cuz many people would die, isolated, without this kind of service..

4. Of course, it's home to Sydney Opera House and Federation Square! in fact, I've made a list of all the buildings I want to see, and I'll try to 'tick' everything!

5. The title of Australia's national song, "Waltzing Matilda", is German for 'carrying a backpack'! I thought this is just so cool!

So yeah, am really excited about going there... I think when I stand in front of the Sydney Opera House - such an icon of Australia for architecture students - it'll take me several seconds to really register that I'm standing there.. Just like when I first stood in front of Eiffel..

Strange thing is, what makes it a little less exciting..is the fact that people speak English in Australia hahaha.. somehow, I've come to associate traveling with trying to communicate with people with a different language, and speaking English just doesn't give the same 'kick' hahaha..

Oh well, Aussie here I come!

On Immortality, Ending and Meaning

"Immortality - a fate worse than death."

- Edgar A. Shoaff

As a religious believer, I am taught that immortality, life eternal with God by our side, is something truly desirable, if not the ultimate goal of our worldly life, and death. Well, very nearly in my Christian life, I've been wondering about immortality..

First, I wonder how the meanings of things will change, because I think a lot of events, relationships, things, are given greater meaning precisely because they have an ending. Human lives are so precious because death can take it from us any moment. Marriage is bearable because you know there would be one day you would be separated from your loved one. Beauty is desperately sought for the reason it is elusive and fleeting. Not to mention, a lot of things require very hard work to maintain and wouldn't it be utterly exhausting and meaningless to maintain it eternally? An easy, albeit simplistic, example would be school. Architecture school is great fun, but would I enjoy my time in school as much if I know I'd stay in school forever? Would I even have enough energy to keep up with all that's needed? Ultimately, I'd start taking things for granted, work a lot less, think that there's no point in having school, and generally just won't care about it. Replace school with work, marriage, friendship, life, anything.. and I think the resulting downward slip would be the same.

(Maybe this is why Christians are not supposed to find the meaning of something in itself, but instead something is meaningful because it is done for God. Theoretically, immortality will be great because then we will have all the time in the world to enjoy God. )

Secondly, partly thanks to architectural education, I believe variety is the soul of pleasure, and well.. with immortality, logically it will just be more and more difficult to have variety, and hence, to find pleasure. Again, another simplistic example: I think a lot of people can bear getting married and staying faithful because marriage has a definite *hopefully not too long* time period. I bet if people are immortal, there will be so much higher occurence of affairs simply because.. well.. how does it feel to be with one person for eternity ? Heck, it might even be a world where we have "contract marriages".. *What you want ah? 20 years? 50 years? 5 years?* I wonder..

But hey, I'm confusing the ideal eternal world depicted by my religion with my own imaginings about what it means to be immortal.. I guess my thought is: to handle immortality requires strength of character way beyond what we humans collectively have right now... and so I wonder, how does this "eternity" thing work, anyway? Would God change our character just before we're made immortals? Don't think so. Well then, do we become immortal and keep our human flaws? Hmm... what does it mean to be human anyway when Death no longer holds sway?

Of course, the answer is again, "Trust God", and yeah, I know some would say I shouldn't try to comprehend God's plan with a human's brain.. Then again, this human brain of mine is the only one I have!

Obey the Rules...

On Learning Chinese

"Learning Chinese is a life sentence."

-Daniel Kane, The Chinese Language

Well well. The past week I've been revising what little Chinese I've learnt over the years and started listening to Chinese podcasts.. Motivation? Very, very impure. Unlike English, which I learnt naturally just because I love reading, or French, which I'm learning because it's melodious, my learning Chinese has all to do with bruised pride.

Unlike the major part of my extended family which grew up in a Chinese speaking community, I grew up in such a way that I did not even come into contact with Mandarin until I moved from Java, my birthplace, to Pekanbaru in Sumatra, where my extended family live. Then, the torture began: "Huh? You cannot speak Chinese? But you are Chinese! Such a shame..." "What? You don't know how to call Second-Grand-Uncle or Third-Cousin-in-Law? How could you..." 

Same thing happens when I moved to Singapore, though to be fair people are rather understanding when I tell them I'm from Indonesia and the cruel Suharto regime outlawed speaking Mandarin. Pepper this with stories about unfair treatment of the Chinese in Indonesia and you'll have nods of sympathy and a kind response: "Like that ah.. No wonder lah...." Over the years, various people from various backgrounds has questioned me : "You can't speak Chinese? But you look like Chinese..." which admittedly created a desire to learn Chinese just to stop hearing this kind of comments...

The last straw, though, came not long ago when a lao wai / ang moh / kuai lo / bule friend of mine sms-ed me using Chinese characters... AAAAAAHHHH! That was when the feeling of, "It's now or never.. Either I learn or I lose!" started..

And... it's been pretty fun so far, actually.. The weird thing was that I didn't even realize how much I already know until I started paying attention to people's conversations, TV programmes, podcasts etc.. It's like taking the same bus everyday and never pay attention to the scenery so you don't remember anything consciously.. but when you start trying to recall, then you realize you have actually noticed quite some things..

According to the US language training department for diplomats, though, to attain the minimum diplomatic proficiency level for Western European languages like French or German, one needs 520 hours, while the same level in Chinese needs 2400 hours..

. . . . . . . . 

My life sentence starts now...

On the Pleasure of Living (or rather, the lack of..)

"...every minute here is a real pleasure to live, what else could I ask for?"

- P, on living in China

"And in the end, it's not the years of your life that counts, it's the life in your years."

- Abraham Lincoln

Was chatting with a friend when he uttered this kinda deep words.. first reaction: "Dang lucky b*st**d..", second reaction: "Uhm.. when was the last time I felt like that?"

Thankfully after a short reflection I could say that just recently I felt that I really love living, when I was in the midst of my  Malaysian kakis, just cooking, laughing, teasing each other. Nothing like a great meal amongst great friends to bring some joy. 

Thinking further, though, made me realize that I get no pleasure from living in Singapore.. Hufh.. It's not about school, or friends, or food.. Mind you, I have no complaints for that.. It's just the place itself, the physical environment, that I find no  joy in.. When was the last time I went to a place in Singapore and really went "Wow..."? Is there any place here I come back to again, again and again and still enamores me? I find no new experience in this place I'm living in, and that's just why I desperately need to escape into different worlds inside the books I read..

Maybe it's cuz I've been here too long.. Maybe it's my own fault. When I first came here, I thought a lot of positive things.. I could explore anywhere I want late into the night because Singapore's so safe.. I could read as much as I want because of its fantastic libraries.. I could spend so much time daydreaming in the Botanic Gardens.. I could find food from almost anywhere.. But at one point, I just stopped thinking positively because it seemed that I'm trying too hard to make something out of my banal, monotonous life in Singapore..

Maybe it's cuz I've been to many places, started comparing around, and found Singapore wanting.. And over the years, I've come to understand what I'm looking for in LIfe, and safety and convenience are, unfortunately, not my top priorities. (In fact I am somewhat scared that living in Singapore is making me a spoiled brat that cannot survive without air-conditioning.. Clearly something needs to be done...)

In any case, enough moping around. I think one large part of my dissatisfaction also is because I just stop doing things that I enjoy or find meaningful - long walks, teaching english, volunteering, reading children stories - for the silly reason that "I don't have time.."

Isn't it funny how we always seem to end up doing the urgent things, the "need-to-be-done" things, instead of the  important and enjoyable things? So, let's start from there!

Dear reader, can you honestly say to yourself that right now it is a pleasure to live? If not, well, start living, because, as Benjamin Franklin said:

"Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff Life is made of."

P.S. The weird thing is, I have always had this sense that my life in Singapore is just a preparation for something else, somewhere else.. 8 years in this little island, becoming a permanent resident along the way, and I still cannot shake the feeling that I don't belong here, though Singapore's been nothing but good to me..

Hmmmm.....

Mu....

Weirdest email I've got ever, tt I've promised the sender I will put here =D

Mengepak Barang

Shiela.. tidak merasa bahwa dia memiliki terlalu banyak buku. Tumpukan kardus berkata lain.