A Little Paradox

*Disclaimer: This is my point of view, being a foreigner that has spent 8 years here, afraid of being Singaporeanised but just recently noticing just how Singaporean I am already..*

Let's compare Singapore to Indonesia. First, Singapore:
1. Singapore = safety, convenience, predictability
2. The whole of Singapore panics when Mas Selamat Kastari escaped, giving an insight to just how safe the country is expected to be.
3.Standard of "education" is high and school is done very systematically.
4. Standard of living is very high. Starvation is virtually unheard of, extreme poverty does not exist, free entertainments and community clubs are everywhere for people to enjoy.
5.Singapore has not experienced any major natural disasters and - in my opinion- it's unlikely to experience it barring any freak accidents.

Despite these standards and achievements, Singaporean students are among the most stressed in the world (There's even a hotline for stressed primary school students), the workers "live to work",
Singaporeans reportedly have very little sex *translate: time to enjoy the company of their spouse and strengthen their marriage*, and the national hobby besides 'eating' seems to be 'complaining'.
More Singaporeans are becoming paranoid about getting married and having kids, and more often than not the deterrent is cost. The general consensus is that people live to work...because there's almost no other 'worthwhile' pursuits, and people ask "Which primary school/secondary school/junior college are you from?" when they try to get to know you, and -i feel - ultimately gauge your value. *because it's deeply entrenched inside the Singaporean mindset to look for achievements*

Now, let's look at Indonesia:
1.Indonesia= chaos, crime, corruption
2.The whole country is infested with terrorists, terrorists-in-disguise-and terrorists wannabes
3.In many cases,teaching is a career people go to if they're either hopelessly idealistic or has no other choice. Corporal punishment still used in schools, standard of education low and number of illiterate people high.
4.Standard of living varies from extreme poverty to extreme riches, with the brunt borne by the middle class, as they will be target of attacks from the poor yet can't "protect" themselves like the ultra-rich.
5.....transport incidents by land, sea and air.. earthquakes, tsunami, forest fire, flood, bird flu, political riots, tribal wars, ethnic and religious disputes.. you name it, we have it..

And yet... Indonesians are not so stressed as Singaporeans *I immensely enjoyed my chilhood in Indonesia where playing is a normal activity kids do and need not be rationed..."ok you study 4 hours then play 2 hours,ok! no playing on weekdays!"*, people are not paranoid about getting married and having children. Identity is not just determined by which school we attend but rather, the provinces we came from*unless, of course, you come from an architecture school,in which case i'd think you're uber-cool*, the dialect we use, the culture we have. It's okay if you want to spend your life manning a coffee shop, cuz as long as you can reasonably provide for your family, that's decent enough. The pressure is just not strong to get that raise, buy that car, get that credit card.. The general motto, as far as I see, is "work to live" and "live and let live."

Now..how could that be? How could Singaporeans have all these things to enjoy and be thankful for and yet still let themselves be so stressed and worried? How could Indonesians see all these deprivations everyday and yet comparatively be more relaxed?

But anyway, I've come to realize that the my background, which is kind of Singaporean kind of Indonesia, can come to my advantage, provided I am shamelessly practical *which often I am*.
So, if I get an A,or do a good job,or get whatever achievement, I bask in front of the approving, adoring eyes of Singaporean society, while when I make a mess, get lower than expected, or fail, I fall back on the Indonesian attitude that it's really not a big deal and that all the standards used to determine I'm a failure are artificial anyway.

Now that's a good middle-ground, don't you think? ;p