Life's Like That...

Hufh....submission in few days' time..and was down with fever last night... and the whole time I was lying in bed I was just so scared I couldn't finish all the work on time... Seriously, it's rather sickening to realise that even my desire to get well soon is so that I could do more work.. Haih... Am very grateful for a church friend who reminded me it's all for Him.. On one side, working for Him means working with all my heart and trying to give my best...on the other hand, it means not getting frustrated when things don't go my way, because God's still in control, hey..

Anyway, who am I kidding...should've seen that I've been abusing my body.. sleeping late, and fitfully at that since was pretty worried about my proposals being approved, eating irregularly, eating junk food and not enough fruits n veggies, no exercise, plus all the coming back late from school that makes me so tired... I thank God for creating my body resilient enough but also fragile enough to give me signs of when I should stop..

Read something by Elisabeth Elliot: "..It takes discipline to go to bed when you ought to and it takes discipline to get up." So true.. I wonder again about the attitude perpetuated in archi, that if you sleep late, stay over in school, generally sacrifice your health for architecture, then that's kinda "cool", and "everyone's doing it anyway", that it's something "unavoidable", that it's "the only way to get work done".. Hmm... There's something really wrong with a work ethic that says "Work is more important than health, than time for relationships, than time for yourself, than time for God."

Was talking to my lecturer yesterday, and he said his wife's kinda upset cuz even on Valentine's day he had to go to work so early,and the night before he got back so late, so no time for even a gift..hm...He's one of the most dedicated lecturers in archi, but then I guess the more one has dedication for something, the more one has to struggle to balance one's life...

In the end, I still worry that me being sick now means I cannot give my best for this project, since now is the crucial period... Hufh...Gotta learn to slow down, calm down, look up and trust Him..