'Would a traveller go back at the end of a trip and do it all over again? Relive all the hassles, the heat, the misadventures?
Yes. Usually, anyway. If only for those rare moments that are travel, that make it vital. Even if those moments take forever to come, they're worth the wait. They're the same reasons that keep s alive. Wouldn't most people go back and be a kid again, go through all the hurts, bruises and misunderstandings of growing up, relive everything, just to be able to smell spring the way we did when we were ten?'
- Laurie Gogh, Kite Strings of The Southern Cross

On Soul

'Oh soul, you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.'

- Jalaluddin Rumi

Tentang Dunia

Aku selalu berpikir, berharap, bahwa duniaku bakal terbentang seluas-luasnya, bahwa duniaku diisi petualangan-petualangan ke negara-negara eksotis, kaki yang selalu melangkah, adrenalin yang sering terpompa dan hidup yang tak pernah bosan dan penuh tawa..

Aku takut berada hanya di satu tempat, takut bahwa 'menjadi dewasa' berarti hidup monoton penuh rutinitas dan kehilangan rasa cintaku akan nikmatnya hidup, kehilangan kesempatan bertualang, melihat dunia dan terkagum-kagum sambil merasa betapa masih banyak yang harus aku pelajari..

Tapi... tapi entah sejak kapan, duniaku berubah menjadi seseorang.. Entah sejak kapan rasa takut untuk melipat sayapku dan berhenti terbang, berganti dengan rasa nyaman saat aku berada di pelukannya, merasa bahwa ini memang tempatku, dan dia adalah jangkarku..

Hari-hariku sekarang.. Tidak kujalani di negara-negara eksotis.. Meskipun begitu, hari-hari itu juga tak membosankan dan penuh tawa.. Dan aku melihatnya, dan terkagum-kagum sambil merasa betapa banyak yang masih harus aku pelajari..

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On a side note, it's amazing that just leaning on someone's shoulder while watching a movie makes one feel so happy... And as they say.. It's so difficult to fall asleep when reality is finally better than your dreams..

"How's Life?"

.. the question that people usually ask when they see someone who've been MIA for a long time.. haha.. Wow, I realised I haven't been writing on the blog for really long, though I've been writing a lot of personally, mulling over things, reflecting, growing.... The thing is.. this blog has been chronicling my thoughts from the first year of university - it was created precisely to document my archi student journey - and somehow it does not feel right to not write about this intense time as I get closer to the end of university...

Anyway, Life.. has thrown a lot stuff on me lately, but also, I've asked a lot from it..

Studio.. sad to say that I've rather wasted the chance to grow through it.. If anything, I'm currently a virtually passion-less, complain-full, gossipy, 'I-don't-even-wanna-go-to-studio-if-I-can-help-it' student who harbors a lot of resentment to the person I should respect the most in the studio, the person who talked me into applying for landscape architecture, no less. The realization that I am not rising above the situation but instead going with herd mentality of "ah alright the rest are generally dragging their feet around too so what I'm feeling is ok" marks another all-time-low in life.. sigh..

Well, beneath it all, there's still my unwillingness to let my love for design and my life in general be ruined because of that constant, nagging thought that I'm really not learning anything, wasting my time, and just wishing it will soon be over.. I just have to believe that there's still a little spark inside waiting for the right moment, the right trigger, to ignite again and consume me thoroughly with renewed passion...

Aside from studio though, Life's great =) Just came back from a capoeira roda and felt inspired, energized again.. Really, there's not a lot of thing more beautiful, more joyful, more unifying, more uplifting, more relieving than a roda, even if this time I was just a spectator due to unfortunate clash of studio deadlines with capoeira events.

And then there's.. well.. there's someone in my life that fascinates, just fascinates me right now and as I go into that scary yet rewarding process of getting vulnerable, being nervously afraid and yet find that it's worth it.. I'm really grateful..

Hufh.. In my church it was said to the youth, there are 3 decisions in Life you really need to get right: what you believe, whom you spend your life with, and what you do for a living... To deal with all three of them at the same time is rather overwhelming, and this is just the beginning..

But hey, that's Life =)

-

Don't think of anything else.
Your excuses are not needed.
And whatever is your past
I'll love you who ever you may be.

I love you, because I love you
What ever they think about is not important.
I love you, who ever you may be

___

The words I needed to hear, have been said.. And the tenderness of it all holds me, awes me, soothes me..

Oh, how I am happy.

Early morning Inspiration

"I fear not the man who has practised 10 000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10 000 times."
- Bruce Lee

Sang Pemimpi

"Mimpi itu gratis.. Aku yang nggak punya apa-apa ini cuma bisa mimpi.. Tapi, mimpi itu harus tercapai. Aku harus usaha, kerja keras, sampai titik darah penghabisan. Kerja keras dengan ikhlas."
- Sugie, anak Lanskap IPB

Dan aku, langsung merasa malu, karena aku bahkan lupa bahwa menjadi seorang arsitek adalah bagian dari mimpiku.. Di tengah-tengah realita surutnya ide, kerjaan yang selalu dikritik dan terasa sia-sia, inspirasi yang lari entah ke mana, sungguh gampang melupakan mimpi kita sendiri. Sungguh gampang mengatakan, 'Ah sudahlah, semuanya sia-sia, aku nggak cukup baik untuk meraih mimpi ini..'

Untungnya, mimpi itu gratis. Dan kalau segitu gampangnya mimpi diraih, itu bukan mimpi namanya.
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Apa yang kau takutkan
Dengan semua ini
Bukankah kesedihan
Sering kita alami
Keadaan ini
Buat kita terbiasa

Dengarkan ku bicara
Teruslah bermimpi
Walau kenyataannya jauh berbeda
Teruslah bermimpi
Jangan berhenti

Percayalah
Lelah ini hanya sebentar saja
Jangan menyerah
Walaupun tak mudah meraihnya

Menghentikan pikiran dengan mata terpejam
Menunggu malam bisa hapus kenyataan
Biar saja mimpi jauh membawa kita

Tetap tersenyumlah
Biar semakin mudah
Karena kesedihan pun
Ternyata hanya sementara
__



Mimpi teruslah bermimpi
Jangan pernah berhenti bermimpi
Mimpi bisa jadi nyata
Bila engkau berusaha
Untuk mewujudkannya

Mimpi teruslah bermimpi
Siapapun boleh saja bermimpi
Asal jangan engkau lupa
Dan selalu berusaha
Untuk mewujudkannya

Tak ada mimpi yang terlalu tinggi
Semua sangat mungkin 'tuk diraih
Panggillah aku seorang pemimpi
Panggillah aku ini sang pemimpi

Mimpi bisa jadi nyata
Bila engkau berusaha
Untuk mewujudkannya

Tak ada mimpi yang terlalu tinggi
Semua sangat mungkin 'tuk diraih
Panggillah aku seorang pemimpi
Panggillah aku ini..
Panggillah aku ini..
Panggillah aku ini..
Panggillah aku ini sang pemimpi